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Jasper 7d
A gaze from out the darkness,
a shadow person of the Imaginary:
This is here; this is now.

I don't like people, they scare me. . .
too much. They're shadow people
of the Imaginary, given freewill.

I could see the shadows by myself,
And they can't see me; but these people
Their eyes are imbued with scrutiny,

I know I can't see it, but I know it's there
By their seeing me. Are you blind?

And maybe the world doesn't care about me,
But this doesn't make me feel free.

It means the only one caring, is me.
And I'm the nothing at the heart of everything.

And if I'm the only one in the universe
Who does - that is a cosmic horror,

Because the universe is my cradle,
And I'm it.
Existential angst and depression
I feel like dying, but I'm trying.
I'm so tired of this anger.
You get mad at me, think I'm lying;
always feel like I'm in danger.
Your inventions of intentions
never matched my thoughts inside.
Did you ever think to mention
when you noticed we had died?
I got these daggers in my back,
but my pride is still intact.
Let's stay together for the kid,
always trying to fix it.
Broken pieces on the floor —
push myself against the door.
Now I'm begging you for more:
forgive, restart it.

I think I'm dying; I'm going crazy.
You think I'm lying — I'm not lazy.
I'm just tired from this fighting.
You're a liar, so stop waiting.
So I'll use my ***** pen
to spill my hurt upon this paper.
The fighting starts again,
so my heart begins to waiver.
I'm on the edge again;
you're not listening.

I feel like falling, but I'm standing.
I'm so tired — my love is gone.
You yelled at me; I'm withering.
I won't miss you; you're not the one.
Your inventions of intentions
never matched my thoughts inside.
Did you ever think to mention
when you noticed we had died?
Doesn't matter if it's verbal;
keep thinking it is all my fault.
We keep fighting in a circle —
locked my heart inside a vault.
Won't you please just hear me out?
Your voice is always full of doubt.
Please don't make me have to shout;
I can't restart this.

I think I'm dying; I'm going crazy.
You think I'm lying — I'm not lazy.
I'm just tired from this fighting.
You're a liar, so stop waiting.
So I'll use my ***** pen
to spill my hurt upon this paper.
The fighting starts again,
so my heart begins to waiver.
I'm on the edge again;
you're not listening.

I will stand up, drink from this cup.
I regret this situation.
You can walk away — don't play cleanup.
Let's get out of this sick rotation.
Your inventions of intentions
never matched my thoughts inside.
Did you ever think to mention
when you noticed we had died?
I got these daggers in my back,
but my pride is still intact.
Can't stay together for the kid;
aren't trying to fix it.
Left the pieces on the floor —
now I'm going out the door.
I'm not begging you for more;
I won't restart it.

I think I'm dying; I'm going crazy.
You think I'm lying — I'm not lazy.
I'm just tired from this fighting.
You're a liar, so stop waiting.
So I'll use my ***** pen
to spill my hurt upon this paper.
The fighting starts again,
so my heart begins to waiver.
I'm on the edge again;
you're not listening.
No...
you're not listening.
No...
you're not listening.
No...
you're not listening.
This is a song I wrote this week in my spare time after reading some entries from an old journal I never fully committed to./. It's close to my raw emotions I felt in the past as and has many passages from my actual journal. I am posting it on this website hoping these emotions resonate and validate others as much as it helped me.
The worse part about me

Is that despite how much

You have broken me

I would still love you
Mother, I remember your boots at the door,
shined and waiting before sunrise.
You wore your uniform like a second skin
and marched away
while I was still small enough
to need carrying.

I bet you’d stay this time.
I bet the war in you
would not be louder than me.
But you always chose the field,
the orders,
over the quiet weight of my arms.
I hate you for leaving,
and I hate myself
for hoping you’d return.

Father sits across from me now,
hands rough, stained with regret.
His voice trembles like a fragile candle:
“I’m trying. I’ll do better.”

I want to believe him.
God, I want to believe.
But hope is heavy,
a stone I carry in my chest,
and I’ve learned how easily it sinks.

Still, I place my wager carefully,
sliding another piece of myself
across the table,
unsure if this time
the game will let me win.

I bet on losing dogs.
And they all wear my family’s faces.
23:47pm / It’s been a while
I used to scream for fun
And listen to my voice
as it bounced off the walls of my room
and came back to me.

Until the day my screams came back
They planted themselves in my head
And now, they live there

I haven't known the peace of quiet since then
Sometimes, I tend to
watch blood
as I make it gush
out of my body
like it hates me
too.
I'm sorry.
Esme 7d
I was given a sharpener,
One for my birthday as a artists gift,
But have you seen how my wrists glisten in a way no watercolour can fix?
A relic of my pain that goes back to ancient times,
Do you even know how i dance along the razors edge,
My heart pulsing with each dubstep ,
The feeling that one beat too late and I slice my veins,
But thanks for the sharpener that i will dismember to get my pleasure,
The sharpener i will use to dance to my fate,
My last birthday,
Courtesy of pain…
physical depiction of my self harm journey
Slipping from a dream into a dream
and waking up to a dream,
The painter and I shrugged off
our blanket of cherry blossoms.

The tree was asleep; its song sung
The sun peered from among the clouds
careful not to disturb that pink slumber.
And we walked down the hill.

We ambled sans destination or purpose
going where whim or wonder steered our feet
We ate in the shade of broken monoliths
and rested in the halls of ruined castles

Fellow travellers we met a few
each walking in their own reverie.
Some shared a song, some bread
some offered their soul, some a bed

We came in time to the edge of the plain;
Below us was a wide valley
A road ran along its centre
stretching from one end to the other

And though we saw people
on the plain and in the valley,
not a soul ventured onto the road,
walking instead on the bare earth

"The Road of fates," said the painter,
"A road for the impatient..or the despondent."
We sat at the edge and watched;
We were not the only ones.

Presently, there came along a man
holding a pen and a book.
With an agonised look in his eyes
he stood in the valley, pondering.

With a sigh he stepped onto the road.
He started writing in his book,
his hand flitted from page to page.
Feverishly he wrote as he walked

A slab of the road came loose
and landed on the man's back
weighing him down like an ideal.
And the man walked bowed

Dogs came running up the road
and without knowing how
we knew what they were,
what they embodied.

As Responsibility clung to a calf,
Loneliness and Sickness took turns
and bit and clawed the man's legs
causing him to stumble and weep

He picked up a stick of Faith
and tried to fend off the dogs,
but soon the stick was lost
and the man started running

The dogs chased and harried
and took away chunks from the man.
Not scraps of the flesh,
but pieces of his soul.

Still the man wrote in his book;
bowed and in pain,
losing strength and vigor,
still he wrote.

Rain started to fall on the road
and the dogs scampered away.
The man sighed and sat down
and started writing again.

The clouds poured out their balm
and his pains melted away.
The man started walking again.
But it was a short respite.

A scream filled the valley
and we stopped our ears.
But the man fell down
as Loss struck his heart.

The sound of barking far away
as the dogs gathered again.
The man sat up and wept
and picked up his pen and book

Buffeted by the echoes of loss,
dreading the jaws of woe,
weighed down by his ideals,
the writer sat and wrote

The mongrels came into sight.
The man started walking again.
A snake slithered between his feet
and sank its fangs into his being

The man stumbled, stopped
and writhed as in torment
as if the poison of Regret
burned his life blood

Onto the road he fell once more,
his pen flying away from his hand.
The dogs kept drawing near.
Giving in to despair, the man cried

He lifted up his head and yelled.
And brought his face down hard.
He kept smashing his head
until he rended it open

And as his blood flowed across,
the book was soaked red.
Silver figures rose from the red -
the man's fictions, his dreams.

All along the stream of blood
stories from his travails came to life;
And looking at his creations
the writer smiled and died.

The carcass would be dragged away
The blood would be washed away
But the shimmering silver stories
Would remain floating on the Road.
Arpitha 7d
Life has only been
a trail of
unfulfilled dreams.

Somewhere along the way,
I lost the courage
to dream again.
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