He was so rough with me
It was unbearable
I cried instead of screamed
I bleed instead of cummed
I guess I was
Just another one
Of his **** victims

The ocean
Is so
Peaceful and calm
I wish
I was
Like the ocean

I just want to be alone,  maby I just need to cry myself to sleep a couple more times... maby I just need to go out and date some random...maby I just need to go out and meet a bunch of new freinds, maby I just need a new drug addiction, maby I just need an excuse to muster up the strength to get out of bed, maby for once I just need someone who isn't going to make me pull knives out from my back, maby for once I just need someone who dosnt just care about my happiness when it's convenient for them.... But maby I just need a hounest connection to want to live....but maby you were always too caught up in your own gain to know what you were loosing.

How do i make it hurt less
If nobody is left to help.
How do i make it hurt less
When i don't want to be saved.

I'm waves of sorrow
collapsing on shores of
                            dejection

High tide carries me to
rock pools of collected
                            reflections.

When I regress to my lowest
point, I drown within my own
                                              regrets

I'm in a cycle of waves that crash
within myself, washing me slowly
                                                  away...

The world is a mirage of echoes,
versing past my vision like illusions.

I try to reach out, but shadows hold
no grasp of my disappointment.

Failures  mirror on myself as they cling
to my insides like teardrops of acidic despair.

They melt away at the picture perfect hollow
smiles that are cracking within each falsehood.

I'm tired of the scars of my past, stories that
bled, healing but still bleeding beneath myself ..

Tenderness is woven in patches.
                          mostly on the lips of my expressions

But so you see them shudder,
as if a portrait of emotion is being taken.

Amused

I'm sitting in this black chair,
I find my way here all on my own,
It's just that place that,
I find clarity,

It's a wonderful feeling,
When I look back to a point,
That I had no cares,
As to what people thought,
But now it's my bane..

Like seriously I can't help myself,
In out in public drowning in Weary,
I bring myself up so high,
Then social anxiety kicks me off the cliff,

I want to be human,
But yet when I'm alone I just feel alienated by everyone,
I can't  handle,
Me,myself and I  

# Paul R Hensley |||