I have the information
I just need the space
The wave is about to crash
The cloud is about to burst
The child is about to cry
In the instant before the sound
Stepping outside the window
Risk no longer considered
Staring as if no one is there
Even if it is the love of your life
She knows
I cannot reach her like that
She knows that about me too
We're both a little older
It means we are preparing
I read the words
But it was not the language I desired
For the tongue was familiar to me
The mystery was too easily explained
As was the explanation from the fire
Who wouldn't believe nature turning on itself
But I've not seen that
And I've never seen a wave not crash
But I've seen a cloud change its mind
If only I could make up mine

I've always known I see things differently
for everything looks like it's on a screen to me.
with one eye I have to choose carefully what I view
and there's nowhere id rather focus my limited vision
than on you.
if I can't see much
you have to let me feel your touch
I'll read you like braille
if you give me the chance
and I'm not just talking about
what's in your pants.
everything's more beautiful
when there's only so much you can see
and laying in your bed
I witnessed a profound beauty
that was ever so special to me.
words were my first love
I could read before I could breathe on my own
and in your room decorated with words
a passionate left eye
couldn't leave you alone.
my right eye wasn't lazy when it met yours
maybe it was looking for you the whole time
I wish it told me what it saw behind closed doors
because now the most endearing images I see
are seen only in memory.

it's late at night
I can't stop thinking
thinking about who I should be
or what I should be
or what I need to do in the
future
the future absolutely terrifies me
I'm 17 sitting in school in September asking to go to the bathroom
and in December I'm supposed to make decisions on what I want to be
or who I want to be
or where I even want to go in this big world when I'm older
how can I make these big life decisions
when I still can't figure out what I want for breakfast

I am utterly confused
I dont know what to do
its all feel empty
alot of spaces to be filled
but nothing to fill in
to those times I feel most desperate
for a solution

I am feeble
I cant think properly
my mind is full of unsaid things
they give me two options
i feel vulnerable
puzzled by tons of decisions
to some times I feel hopeless
for an answer

I am heartless
everything went fine physically
despite what I truly feel
inside of this paralyzed smile
all the pain was hidden
but still
no resolutions

Time and time again I have created characters storywise
Moved every pawn and remained impervious
Royals and peasants alike
Gave them happiness
or sadness
But who owned my story?

When the chill of the night silenced churpy crickets
And the moon waned its light
I climbed a somber shiplet
And travelled realms in search for a magic quill

A moment in life I had written a story
40 minutes changed a lifetime
Little did I know it was my own story
That put me on a risky course
To ward off my woes

Battling the monster sea creatures
Hanging on prophetic scriptures
Every choice was ever so treacherous

All for an enchanted pen
To undo the pain
Rewrite the losers so they can win
And a low life may be queen

A journey through different worlds
Marred by dangers of all kinds
Unveiled treasures
hidden in dark secret places, but no magic quill

One of the treasures was understanding
Understanding that
I am the formidable villain in my stories
But also the greatest hero revered in the scripts

and when the red sun sets in the west
And morning stars come out at dawn
I have the power to change the tune of my life
I am the enchanted quill

I'll carve myself out of the bones of a former me,
Shave off the soft, spongy gut making my calls,
Leave a strong oak cask,
A barrel of good decisions,
Or lessons at least.
The new me, rough and cut by experience!
The sky can shape my eyes,
And the sea my heart,
Weathered like a cliff but tough like an avocado,
I'll resemble myself like a sister,
Just more me.

This thing is bothering me for quite long
I couldn't decide whether to go on
My mind is too tired to analyze
All the possible result of this in my life

It is just a matter of yes or no
But when I say yes
Endless what if's will bombard me
And when I say no
What about the possibilities?

I could not focus on the present
I think too much of the future
I worried too much of the unknown
And I couldn't stop myself

Maybe it is really not a matter of yes or no
Instead I should ask myself
If these decisions, will even matter in the future
And when I try to answer myself
There you go, I'll try to foresee the future again
And the cycle will continue, on and on

I prefer imaginary over reality,
whispers in stretched-out corridors
stand more stable in my mind
than the marble columns
stacked in rows like dominos.

I love the ethereal thoughts that glimmer
like a dream right before or after
I wake up,
and then pass away,
fading from flickering thoughts
to concrete decisions.

Oh how I wish fact was fiction,
and we all lived in the fantasy of inky words
scratched onto a reality
thin enough to see right through.