You think that time would make it easier and maybe I'd just forget.
I still think about that day often but I'm starting to think about it less.

I don't know if I should feel guilty because you're not always on my mind.
Or maybe that's just what happens when you've been gone such a long time.

I do wonder if you'd be proud of me and the things that I've done.
Would you tell me that you're happy because I finally found the one?

I do have a lot of questions that I know will never get answered.
Because you left your body here and your beautiful soul was transferred.

Thank you for the memories I'll hold them close to my heart.
I promise to try my best when I think of you not to fall apart.

I hope that you're happy there and you're able to get some rest.
I'll always have a place for you inside my hollow chest.

soft tears cresting in eyes

oh how they've hurt you so

dearest one, let this pass

in pain, fury, the deepest swells of sadness

let them wash over you again and again

until you are calmed

smoothed out until new

you will prove victorious

and they will meet their end

Dearest Douglas,

Is it strange, we meet in a moment of chaos?
The mystic forces of fate pull us together,
In a time where our life path is full of woes
Fate calls us to fight against the stormy weather
So this encounter, is it what heaven has bestowed?

For years my heart hid behind the gates of darkness
As memories of the past burned with resentment
I felt the sinister shadows of life’s bleakness,
Where the affection of my father had been absent,
The stains of sin had taught me to become heartless.

Yet in this fleeting moment of life, our paths meet,
My heart burns passionately by your gentle grace
The ravenous linger thoughts of you taste so sweet
As I felt sense of peace when I glance at your face-
I am lost by your eyes that glow with gracious heat.

In an autumn’s day where solemn truths were revealed,
Your dad’s poor health had left you to feel dejected.
Tears of pain touched my soul so that it can be healed-
To release grudges that had been infected
By the violent past - a new hope has been sealed-
Three different people’s lives have been affected!

Though our life paths moved in opposite direction,
Forces of fate push us to an uncertain life!
In a distant sky there is a strange connection,
An alliance formed when the world is full of strife,
We enter into journey of introspection!

In this moment of personal revelation,
You haunt me in my thoughts; you haunt me in my sleep.
I think I am a fool to have such affection
Yet this fate left a lasting impact that runs deep
My heart smiles to see your caring complexion!

Time wafts like Mother Nature changing its season,
Yet in this uncertain world we reunite again.
This fate is strange but there is a divine reason
We are to meet as there is a lot we have gained
At least for me I can feel the love of the Son.

I know these tender feelings you can’t reciprocate
I look at the sky and thank him for his full bless
To have met you in my frail vulnerable state.
I feel the moonlight embrace me with full caress,
Maybe it is time for us to depart on this date.

Do not feel these feelings I have is of sorrow
As one day I will meet a General of great might.
This strange fate has allowed my soul to heal and grow.
Wherever you may be, I wish you to shine so bright!
I don’t know what destiny beholds tomorrow,
But fond thoughts of you will drift my soul with delight!

(c)2018 Joanne Chang

there were some growing aches, but you came and heal it.
there were some growing pains, but you replace them with your purity.
there were some illnesses, but you treat them well.
there was an aching soul, but you hold it tight.

there was my darkest time, but something lead me to a light. I never knew, you are that light.
there was me struggling, can't find my way back home. a whisper told me, you are my home.
there was me looking for something lost, then I found you back.
there was playing my puzzle, can't complete it well. but then you came, my missing puzzle piece.

there was me drowning in my world. but you held me up, save me in your arms, telling everything's fine, as long as I'm with you.

I’m sorry

For doubting you

Your dreams, your beliefs

Your desires, your grieves

I’m sorry

for projecting fear on you

For taking one step behind

Because I thought about all the things

That could hurt you

But not all the opportunities that it could bring

I’m sorry

For not loving you enough

For hurting your body

And forgetting your soul

Leaving your mind empty

With everything foul

I’m sorry

For leaving you breathless

Tired eyes, weary sighs

You are more than you think

But I don’t tell you enough

I’m sorry for holding you back

Making you feel worthless

Ugly and sad

Losing your sense of inner beauty

Judging you, your outer seemed filthy

I’m sorry

I promise to love you better

So your heart will always be whole

- an apology letter to myself

soulwriterj

Suiside upon instruction
Through institution
By relation to another
And being bared upon
By your own misfiring soul

A shaky exit ;
Lonely
Or lonely, with company
Approach The Pig Empty
With a mind and not a rattle
; a pressure of Taughts

  in loving nothing
  glove oblivion
  a pardon from suffering ?
  a finite mime

       Signed   - a guest