is it love
or the parasite ?

my pilot bulk                      
aims for relief
       it pursues this via                  
          your romantic correction

in public arena                  
a library stair                    
(i never prior encountered you)

one step as foreigner        
the approach
and upon a swift internal pendulum
i make witless incisions
hurried mended sentences
directed stuns
invasive
i demand the compromise
                  of your company
hastily push at boundaries and
you're not so accommodating

                                                 but
on a further occasion
same building
we exchange a battering of conversation
that
   then
       matures
           into barter-like use of language

despite my harassments
  a civil cultivation is unearthed
tongue within this intelligence effort i lessen
loosen my demanding appearance
disregard my dignity
     a skin suit about the ankles

you're open in a vein of similarity
   you flesh out your own controls
we've progressed quickly
there's an aped conduct
                 and flashing attitudes
this time we share table space
a nearby café

we have become quite unmanned
    repeated meet ups
upon humours we adjust small habits
    and shake on perceptions where we overlap
it becomes
   more an overlay of rationalities
        than resented promises

fast time passes and

i move into your living space                                  
i pick a wildflower                                                    
               and put it in the tiny vase on your dining table
we agree on its colour                                              
we agree on a book to make our bible material
we agree on the pitch of the tinnitus we share
the clothes i am to wear
i switch to your diet
and you cease taking medications
we sleep on your lawn like children
and bring down the night sky for comfort

during the day we wear our sleep
              like a lubrication for our chores
and go about our productivity
              in genuine partnership
yet
i feel we're just out of reach
            of some dark harm

we are an excellent sample pair
it is all vital
we grow stronger the more we quiz it
recycling our *******
refine our agreements
await further impulses
and come closer to plug

so..
do we please love
      or simply indulge a parasite ?

my heart beats for love, my beast to overcome
to not look outside myself, no longer divide myself
send kisses to above, but on earth, I succumb
Your body like cheap motels, perfumed  idealistic summer tales
follow me into the season of orange
carve a smile in my face like a pumpkin
trying to keep the spark alive is redundant
who could’ve done it, I wasn’t
I didn’t look below before I jumped in
now I am swimming in all my presumptions
it was gold like a nugget, till it wasn’t
knew I could do better If I focussed on the constant
which is me and all my little flaws, if you could see behind all the walls
serpentine to carve my body from clay
morph and transform is all I know
my new metamorphosis awaits

Why did it take so long
For me to face my fears?
To realise I was strong.
Strength would wipe away my tears.

A question asked by many.
Those looking within,
Those who cannot bury,
And feeling stretched thin.

Finding myself;
A life long quest.
'Look to thyself'
Given time, given rest

Your time will come.
Love and friendships will fade,
Depression that leaves you numb,
No doubt leaves us afraid.

Darling don't fret.
Your power is there,
Unseen as of yet,
Ready to glow and glare.

There are many nights ahead,
Soundless and sleepless alike,
Full of worry and dread,
Tears ready to strike.

These cannot be controlled,
Nor should they be feared.
Let the feelings roll,
Allow your mind to be cleared.

This cycle is found,
Over and over again.
Though you aren't bound
to hold onto the pain.

Exams are full of Botheration
Dad asking Explanation
Mom's high Expectation
So let's make Resolution
Quit Education
And Start Cultivation

Jai Jawan Jai Kisan