Its all falling apart,
The defence i had put on initially,
Piece by piece i have been watching it crumble,
Its now at my core,
Just a bit more, and it too shall shatter.

I have no more will to persist,
Nor the strength to resist,
I welcome the gloom, my sight is turning grey,
How did i even arrive at this point?
Memories of past i cannot recall,
And days to come i no longer anticipate.
My journey stops here, my soles are worn.
See you all on the other side, if at all it exists.
Sigh, darkness has descended

When reality hits you,
its always sad,
when fantasies cease,
You are driven mad,
everybody is always chasing something or someone,
but they are ever elusive,
we often get close,very close,
and yet,we are far, so so far,
the only option left it to give up,swallow sadness,and turn to another road,
hoping that this time it will be smooth,
maybe,just maybe.
The future is uncertain,
a mystery,
An enigma,
A mirage,
So how do we so through the lie?

I feel choked, my breath is hurried,
Both my eyes have tears,
I cant explain why,
Am just tired of everything, my trust has been broken a couple of times,
My heart trampled more than i care to remember,
Oh,my soul? Not sure if it still exists,
Tell me, why am i still here? Holding on to this wretched existence?
Males are survivors, so they say,
But am hurting inside, i never wanted pity, all i wanted was an ear to listen to me,
Someone i could pour my emotions to without being judged,
Yet, its still the same no matter where i turn to, i am depressed,
I never wanted to admit it, yet here i am,
The mirror has been my best friend, but now even it, doesn't have time for me,
"why are you holding on?" asks the little voice in my head,
I guess am not sure myself either,
The weight is increasingly ******* my shoulders,
Should i slit my wrists?
Should i drop the toaster in my bath water?
I saw a black widow in my attic, maybe i should aggrieve it,
I am torn between choices, yet strongly attached to this life,
What does this all mean... Is it a sign or am just not ready to leave?
Sigh.

Sometimes I wonder if you ever really knew
How much I appreciate the truest form of you.

A toast,
To the friends that we lost,
To the lovers that left,
The heartbreak that ruined us,
To the plans that got destroyed,
To the family that ignored us,
To the jobs that we didn't get,
To the depression that plagued us,
The pain, sadness, and loneliness that haunts us,
We are still here,
Bravely charging forward.
We are not optimistic but we are still here.
Salute.

Tears are flee flowing,
My eyes are red with exhaustion,
My vision is a bit blurry,
How did it come to this?
The deep love i had, is now a deep wound am trying to cover up,
The memories we made, both good and bad,
Do they not count for anything?
I was in denial, and i could cope,
Now am in acceptance, its tearing me apart,
My smile is a facade to hide the sorrow n sadness i feel,
A part of me is still hopeful you will come back, and that this is just a stumble on our road.
The nights are longer than the days, and only you,
Can fix this broken soul.

I am just sad, i have been waiting for time unknown for you to be a little bit remorseful for what you did,
Instead you turned the tables on me n made it seem like it was my fault,
or cause i did it first n hurt you,am supposed to understand how it feels right?
In the dying fire that is us, i have tried my best,
you just ain't that into me no more,
words from your mouth as i recall,
am fighting an uphill battle,
tear strained face, bloodshot eyes,
holding my shredded heart on my palm,
watching my once indomitable soul crumble,
piece by piece,
the heavens give me no quarter,no way to salvage myself,
i will not delude myself on a grand comeback, its all over for me,
an empty husk of my former being, emotionally dead.
the light fades slowly,
Sigh,this is how it feels,
How beautiful the sun sets,
The last thing i see before darkness.