I am honored to have been merged with such a well crafted human being

It’s been a while, but I’ve figured out
Why my life seems so different now.
Working on being your new fixation
In a costume of my own creation.

I know I’m not who I used to be,
I’m used to being shut down,
Silenced,
Ooh, their words were violent,
And I ended up someone I’m not sure I want to be.

But that doesn’t matter anymore…

‘Cause I’d do anything you want,
Be the girl of your dreams, too.
I’d say the things you’d like to hear,
And change my looks, my heart for you.

I know it’s sad and reeks of desperation,
Yeah it’s tragic, but it’s true…
Honey, if you would just love me,
Maybe I could love me too.

Baby could you kiss me in the moonlight,
And see the stars in my eyes,
And let me take the pain away.
All those thoughts you’ve had today -
They don’t mean anything
As long as I’m around.

Please, just use me like I’m using you.
My heart tells me it’s choosing you,
And all these stupid things I do
Only promise me that I’ll be losing you.

And I know I’m simply sad and eighteen,
And life has much more planned for me.
What’s that look supposed to mean?
We used to speak so candidly.

And now I know you want to leave me…

But I’d do anything you want,
Be the girl of your dreams, too.
I’d say the things you’d like to hear,
And change my whole ******* self for you.

I know it’s so very sad and desperate,
Yeah it’s tragic, but it’s true…
Darling, if you would just love me,
Then maybe I could love me too.

Can you please just ******* love me,
So that I can love me too?

If there's a wall around the heart of somebody, be careful by using words.

Every good one will break down one stone.

But every bad one will create two new.

My tears are starting to burn
     a river of lava... flowing

destroying

          the once beautiful forest.

BUT.

We all know
        that only fire
     can create a perfect environment
   for new trees
            to reach the sun.

I HOPE.

It is the same for
            this
                 lowly
                      human
                            soul.

How can one understand the philosophy of these systemic chronological oddities?
Possibly my position on the path postures me to reach beyond the math to fall asleep.
The division just doesn't add up to me with the black hole of immeasurable probabilities
And so I must subtract laps on this lapse, and get back on track.  We all have the facts but haven't yet seen beyond the grasp of the mask.
Skip across the subject and skim inside the water.  Let go of the words that float, for clenched fists prove to be a bother.  
Ripples in the being speak to the entity of new ways to branch out the offer
All along the watchtower you've been waiting for yourself at the harbour.
Happy to see you decided to stretch the frequencies farther, genuinely smiling at the horizon.
Sometimes I think about my father, in my mind I then hear "Hi son"
This is currently Ryan, the thunder and the lightning
I am Lion delighted for the opportunity to be enlightening.  
This is me, when I exist beyond the body.  I was once stuck in front of the mirror while my soul waited in the lobby.
Wasting time gauging myself by opinions and consuming jobbies.
Now I freestyle life, and it's blossomed into my full-time hobby.

Image insecurities replace beauty with impurity
Open your lungs fully, then graciously exhale with me.
Address yourself with light and do so gently
Express what you feel inside even if it's just venting.

Refreshed, we sort this mess with inventive intention.  Perplexed, reading between the ledger lines of divine intervention.
Imagining that we indeed are the water we drink and the air we breathe..  Makes me want to Use the given limbs to stand mighty like the tree, yet, still sway softly with the breeze.  I've finally realized all of life comes to me with ease.
Inevitably enveloping are the vibrations of everything.  The magnetic field you posses, poses pictures of your surroundings.  Be sure to nurture seedlings to see the dawn of a new spring.  Positive affirmations promote productivity. So let's really mean what we speak - as this becomes reality.  Pay attention to thoughts and dreams, because there we spend our energy. 

Equipped with a beat in my chest, eye wear wings of patience as this existence rapidly manifests.
Let's rock the fashion of passion on the sleeve, infinitely blessed.

*Serendipiditous stardust woven with a love that can make a galaxy combust, you will make it.  I honor you and hope that you place faith in your trust.  Aware, you're now Lucid in this life, it is you - create it~

i am glowing from within
i feel something inside of me sprouting and begging to be set free
it's telling me that it's alright to have messy hands for words and torn pages i can't yet seem to comprehend
my fingertips are soaked in specks of imaginary turned to reality
and i am grasping them with every will that i've got in order to create something extraordinary
i am living art; i do not need a canvas to lay out my work because i know that the roads will take me there
i am aware that during the early years that there will be people willing to pay to watch me fail
but i am a human being designed to create
and i don't want to waste my breath dwelling and holding onto things that i can't proudly say are mine
i may fail but i will not stay down only to be eaten alive
i will face death in order to overcome these voices that have been residing for far too long in my head
and they will never take me, i will never give in

n.j.

How do you greet a stranger,
With a simple hello
or with a loving hug

How do you treat a former friend,
Bringing up ancient memories
or creating new ones

Well
It's been a while

How's Everything been?
Are things better now
or are you still struggling?

How do you say your farewell
With a simple goodbye
or with a light kiss and teary Eyes

I hope you are okay
or at least that you are still hoping
For that happy ending

Well
it's been a while

I'm still here
I still Believe in you
I hope you do too