and the more she looked
the closer she        stood
to the                                  edge
of that                                    cliff
where she'd stay
the army of those who won't look dead in the eye
marched onwards as her confidence continued to decay
like crumbling walls and bro
-ken fences
her mind
those thousands of uneasy neurons
remained present till the last warm soft
                                                     drop
spilled out onto the rocky ground
and every glance in the mirror
took from her a lifetime

my head feels like it's eating up my heart
draining the lifeblood that kept me going
scraping out memories and happiness, and
leaving the barren remains of a fragile heart

The ringing hasn't stopped
Even though it's all silent now

Eyes are weary from the lights.
Back is aching from every embracement.  

The only person I looked forward to seeing
Didn't show up tonight.

Slightly numb. I wonder
If you even remember my name. My face...

I wish I could lock lips with you.
I wish I could simply love you.

Screen is cracked.
Just happened the other day.

But my heart has been like this
For some years now.

Someone else asked for my number tonight.
Despite her apparent beauty I told her not to bother.

"I am just an empty vessel.."
They seemed appalled. But I just shrugged.

I've been told before
How big of a heart I have

But as I've done before
I just shrug off all the worthless comments.

No need to flatter me
With empty words.

I'll never see you again.
And I'm OK with it.

I am a respirating being!
I have feelings for various creatures!
I am sensitive!
I am emotional!
I act on things consciously and unconsciously at times!
I regret things I should not!
I put people's feelings, their interests,their preferences and etc. before mine because I feel it's important!
It's important to make other's happy!
Because in this long run of life all you have is support and love from the people near and dear to you!
You may get hurt or may **** your interests and opinions for the sake of others,but there is always a limit to it!
There arises a need to understand that all you have done is enough and it's time for you to stop!
Stop killing yourself because obviously limits are limited.
And these limitations not only bind you to confirm to particular laid down universal norms but in turn helps you realise your worth ,your opinion and your interests!
It's fine to put others before you but it is not acceptable to **** yourself for it!
Stand for yourself!
Get your opinions and your wants straight and put your points in front of people you think you should!
Because at the end, you are all you have!

Autumn is our conscience.
Vast expanse of blue sky nurse it,
white clouds occasionally cover it up,
cool air quickly cleans the blockade.

Autumn is short lived.
It wears peaceful colors.
Monk like contemplation wraps it up
by logic and faith.

Autumn is a buffer between shower and
                                                             snow,
like the want and end.

25th Oct.2016

Move over, move over,
I tell the devil on my shoulder.
There's no room for you here,
There's no room for you anywhere.

Move over, move over,
I tell the devil on my shoulder.
I won't listen to you,
I never listened to you.

I refuse to listen
To the lies,
And I'd rather focus
On the lights inside his eyes.

Move over, move over,
I tell the angel on my shoulder.
You won't want to see this,
You won't want to see what we've become.

Move over, move over,
I tell the angel on my shoulder.
"Don't fret, dear."
She whispers so softly,
"I am always here."

There's no more room,
For the devil on my shoulder,
With the weight of the world there instead.
I'd rather be weighed down
A little extra,
By doing some good,
Than be weighed down
By my own agenda.

The devil on my shoulder
Has packed up his bags and left,
Because I'm making room
To take up some of that burden
You bury yourself with.
You can't do everything alone,
And neither can I.
But together,
I think it'll get done
Pretty smoothly.

Move over, move over,
I tell the devil on my shoulder.

What is this
Satirical mask
That weeps self-deprecating tears
Through plastic slits
Down over a contorted smile
That mocks society
In pictoral flagellations
Of an aching conscience.

I was here for three years now,
But it feels like a decade.
This place is filled of pity,
Flaws,
Insecurities,
Lies,
And a trapped little girl;
Her heart and mind are her only cell mates,
While her emotions are the officers who held her captive.

One day she got out,
And she felt free,
With her heart and mind,
Hand in hand,
She didn't want to go back to that cold, dark place,
Where no one understood her;
Free.

But sadly once a week that little girl goes back to that cold, dark place,
Its not her fault,
People laugh at her in the real world too.
The prison is no different.
At least she isn't judged there,
Cause no one knows how she feels on the inside.


                                                                                     Jonesy 2016 ©