hey,  how long has it been?
since i picked up a paper and pen?
a lot of things had already happened,
i'm not the same since then.

i felt so many feelings,
experienced a lot of things.
and it actually made me think,
maybe this is what it feels to exist and live.

i decided to write again,
to share my thoughts
to improve
to go back to my first friend,

to poetry.

I leave You
I cheat You
Then wonder why
You aren't there

Then I say
I didn't leave
I didn't cheat
How come, I ask
You aren't there

But I know now
I left You
I cheated You
I now know why
You aren't there

But now I say
I want You
I need You to
Keep coming back
When I leave
Because nothing thrives when
You aren't there

I'm jumping into new with this trampoline pad
I'm hating every poem I wrote because they were too sad
I have passion flowing through all my veins
It twists around the hurts and pains
My passion is like a river, never gonna sit
With any dam in the way, it'll jump over it
I've felt like ash from a fire just extinguished
All dreams I once had had been relinquished
Then after a final heartbreak, it sparked some emotion
A spark in the ashes, a wind now in motion
And with this sole spark, I will use my one chance to fan it
After jumping into the unknown, this time I will land it
I am a phoenix rising from the ashes, no longer defied
My heart is beating once more, but it never really died
I am no longer just a bird flying above
I am an eagle, soaring from self-love
I used to lay at the bottom of the sea, feeling entirely worthless
But now I've remembered to just swim up to the surface
I feel like a rose in a bush, used to being tricked
But for once in my life, I was happy not being picked
And I know that we're no longer looking at the stars and crying
But I'm laying there by myself, eyeing Betelgeuse and Orion
If someone looks into my life, thinking they're so smart
They'll see lots of my friendships are falling apart
I've been gossiped about, lied to, insulted, from the entirety of night to day
But for once it didn't matter, and I simply walked away.

No matter what I do
The loneliness comes in
She peeks through the window
And lifts up my chin.

No matter what I do
The loneliness is there
She looks at me sadly
And doesn’t seem to care

No matter what I do
The loneliness gets more
She wraps her arms around me
While I lay motionless on the floor

staring at myself
and for the first time in
years
i see her
light, the joy, the spark
she’s back
ready to embrace it all again

Sometimes good sometimes bad
Often make one sad

Sometimes fresh sometimes faint
A picture they paint

We hide or flaunt
But the past is bound to haunt

Make new or retake few
But the mood goes blue

We quit but revisit
Somewhere in heart they sit

All memories
are ongoing stories

Imma white strand
underneath that wide band
on your round land
under the heap among profound men
just someone unique, identified from a mile back
*** mild 'attack
seeing me took a step back
thinking me of a **** wack
who isn't like em
I've been cut
I've been dyed
I've died
yet resurfaced just like a lie
screaming at your face dare ******* deny.

It's been years since the last time
that I put words together, making them rhyme.
Honestly, it feels like a crime.
to not have been writing for a long time.