I haven't slept, nor do I want to
For fear of being casted into the roaring seas
And crashing into the high rocks
I fear the roaring heartaches and
Sudden images flashing like lightning

In this ravenous storm my heart slumbers
The tides caressing my eyes to close
And swiftly take me into the arms of the sea
Unfathomable things collide in my mind
My thoughts poisoned with fear

Swept into the cold, tethering darkness
Gravely I embrace the poisonous serpents that
Poises around my ribs, and fills my lungs with water as death fills life
Loving figures turned fiends and
Worser still myself and I

The hurling tides now may begin to calm and
Hold me in it's arms, calling as it speaks
Soft etches across my neck and open beaches
Tender warmth embraced in the lighthouse's chest
Safety and happiness wraps around me, the waves pulling me further into my darkest depths

I fear it's not just a dream, only a dream I cannot obtain

I'd like to thank my cheating ex, who proved to me my full worth.
Y'all were close but never slept, doesn't mean it still didn't hurt.
So maybe grow the **** up, before you come stumbling back.
Don't need you filling my cup, with straight lies and bullcrap.
Your word means nothing when commit with fraud,
I cry in pain reaching out to God.
Not once does he hear his name, despite pleads, through and through.
You're trying to make everything the same, but all I have to say is
"*******".

𝓂𝑒𝓈𝓈𝒶𝑔𝑒𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓂𝑜𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓁𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉
…𝓉𝒾𝓂𝑒 𝓅𝒶𝓈𝓈𝑒𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝐼 𝓈𝒾𝑔𝒽
𝓉𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓈𝓂𝒾𝓁𝑒𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒷𝒾𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓈𝓌𝑒𝑒𝓉 -𝓁𝒾𝑒𝓈?-
𝐼 𝓉𝑒𝓁𝓁 𝓂𝓎𝓈𝑒𝓁𝒻 𝒾𝓉 𝒾𝓈... 𝒾𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓉𝒽𝓌𝒽𝒾𝓁𝑒.

cheating life

when that day comes, officially,
maybe, anyway, someday here,
yo! made it through the pandemic,
y’all backslap and affirmatively robust
announce: dude! you cheated death!

maybe I’ll smile, maybe cry, maybe, nah, surely
both, cause we now be practiced in arts of survival,
I’ll reply the real trick is not to cheat death,
that don’t require much, just careful preparation

my file still not closed, and will be unsealed,
seen both what was done to me, what I did,
on my own, insufficient smiling, inadequate crying,
everyones imbalance cain forehead-charted

so when you examine your empire on your face,
think not you cheated death, you’re a stud,
no siree, think about how you cheated, cheated
yourself out of life, with insufficient risk taking

don’t be stupid, don’t mean going out w/o a mask,
ignoring social distancing. that’s just common sense,
what I’m talking ‘bout, taking that chance, falling
in love, and doing it again and again, before you

cheat yourself out of life...

That day when we first spoke,
your first words to me were
'Your fingers look cute'.
To which I replied
that I didn't think so,
that my fingers were too thick and my nails shapeless.
You said that they were
the most beautiful fingers
you'd ever seen
and
pink nail paint suited them.
That day,
I fell in love
with
my fingers, pink nail polish and you.

Every time we met, you made it a point to tell me that
my fingers were beautiful,
rubbing against them with yours and smiling that crooked smile of yours
when I blushed.

Each of our meetings, every step of our love story
was witnessed by that pink nail polish, as if to bear testimony to
our secret relationship.

That day when you confessed that there was someone else,
my fingers broke down before I could.
I asked you point blank
if
you'd been calling her fingers cute too. Your silence was chilling.

The pink nail paint bottle is empty, just like my life without you.

'Now, who's there to call us lovely?'
my fingers ask me.
I have no reply.