How lonely would you be,
Sitting on the only rock,
Above water in a lake?
Can you cry,
If I were to die,
Drowned beneath these waves?
Listen to the flying shadow,
He cries, he screams, he travels with ******,
Foreshadowing awaited end, floating up,
Out of the water,
I can no longer touch the border,
Of water and earth,
And the transparent evidence of my life,
No longer does it irritate me,
No longer does it sparkle in this underwater sunshine.
How happy would you be,
If I were to rise?
How happy would you be,
If I appeared alive?
                             -from firefly

She rests her head
Over the stains of my pleasure
That thought alone
Makes me feel better
She goes for your phone
But I know you won't let her
Because you're  still holding on
To our love with a tether
The string that binds us
That you refuse to sever
You ask for me back
But I'm far too clever
Your words mean nothing
When you say you regret her
I will not go back
Sorry love,
Never.

The black kettle is going off in the kitchen
I can't bare to get off the couch and open the swinging door
He won't be there
Sitting at the old, scuffed wooden table with a cup of coffee

There will be no unread newspaper sitting by the bread
I won't find a ***** dish in the sink to clean once he's gone for the day
The spot where his work boots once sat by the door looks bare
It even smells different

I know it hasn't been long
But I already miss the smell of tobacco and gasoline
I miss the clutter that filled my now organized nightstand
I miss the comfort of having someone sleep by my side

But I was never good to you
And you weren't good to me
You said you would never love again
So why am I still scared to go in the kitchen
While you're someone else's man

when your parents tell you that staying in bed all day is just you being lazy and that you can't use depression as an excuse; stay in bed
when your friends always complain that you never come out but never want to hear about your problems because its depressing; find new friends
when your dad tells you that your career goals aren't real jobs; spend his money on going to school for learning how to paint
if your boyfriend doesn't spend time with you even after you told him how miserable you are; break up with him
when our job cuts your hours, find a new job
when you get the urge to dye your hair, do it
want a piercing? do it
when your doctor tells you that you are past the point of help, succeed not only for yourself but so you can rub it in their faces when you prove them wrong
when you get stuck in a rut, don't let relapsing be the outcome
always call someone for help because being 17 with depression and no one that supports you can be hard.
make new friends
tell your dad to *******
get a new boyfriend
travel
buy records
take pictures
drink with your friends
hug your mom
tell your brother how much he means
burn your collection of 39 suicide notes that you've written over the past year.
tell your best friend that she means the world to you
make sure those in your life know how important they are to you

Eyes are haloed violet
and the shower water has been running black.
I've decided smoking is the antithesis of punk
and that Morrissey was right
meat IS ******.
How lovely it would be
to be light as 103,
naive,
and full of gaiety.
But innocence has died and cynicism is in bloom.
I am so beautiful.
I do not miss you.

It breaks every time
To know that we’ve tried
It was innocent at first
The life that we lied

I wanted a dream and you wanted mine
But it was never yours
It was never time
The songs that we sang, washed by the rain

I had to go, needing something that’s mine
I offered what I had
You had everyone in mind

It’s only when you ripped out my heart
That you realised yours was connected to mine

I did not mean to do it,
it just happened.
I have no intentions to make you fall,
but every day that we talk,
I know every thing is starting to fall,
I am not ready yet,
sorry if I am going to leave you now,
I am afraid to let you know,
how much you mean the world to me.
we used to share thoughts about every thing,
but we need to part our ways,
this feeling is not right anymore,
I love you but I know you will never be with me.
I am sorry,
I fell for you,
and I am not willing to let you know.


-J.

the lights spin around
running right into the ground
people try to come down
all trying not to drown
stars dying in the background
none can hide their frown
heading back to the battleground
keeping an eye on the countdown
til the lights go out
and the blackout
triggers the fallout
and everyone
just
leaves