You are back,
yet you have to leave so soon.
You can leave the door open,
I really don't mind.
Just be careful along the road,
mind not,
I will be tired seeking in you in the darkness
so maybe, I will just sit here inside for a while.
But the door is open,
if someone closes that, it won't be me.
But feel free to come back, break the door if you need to.
Just remember, finish the tea before you leave again.

Visit me soon, kay? Ciao

6 minutes til 10.
my hands cradling pills and milk
to chase purposeful death down my throat
and i chase the freedom that has been revoked
when i was born
every day i awoke
i want to take back...
those critical moments...

almost 10 pm
and its over.
i dont want to see tomorrow.
im gonna swallow my solution...
one hour closer...
to death and away from sorrow...

no more poems no more sight..
no more breathing just one big light.

10 pm.
i surrender
good bye.

you tell me you're secretive
you write poetry no one gets the privilege to read
you play songs no one gets to hear
you think things that are never spoken
and you feel things you won't let be felt
to you I am an open book
I tell you random little things
I share jokes with you
But you don't even know I write poetry
You have no idea 9/10 poems are about you
But you have no idea the fear of being put down keeps me from showing you
the words that are yours

holding onto every pieces of the broken heart.

im sorry.
i cant be like them.
i couldnt even stare at your face.

im sorry.
i cant be like them.
i couldnt even cry aloud for you in front of everyone.
i even hid my tears.

im sorry.
i cant be like them.
i couldnt even be there, kissing the soil where you belong now.

but here i am,
holding onto every pieces of my broken heart.

i miss you.
i miss your smile.
i miss your voice.
i miss staring at your back,
or even just sitting there beside you.

i miss talking about everything with you.
i miss the laughter we shared.

i miss the coffee stain on your morning cup.
and the smell of the hot chocolate you really like.

i miss all the time you were nagging on me about everything im unaware about.

i miss calling your name.

i miss the buzzing sound of your nebulizer.
and the smell of your inhaler.

simply, i miss you.

and here i am, holding onto every pieces of the broken heart.

I felt so much

But now it's gone

all my feelings their not strong

gone like yours were for awhile

And still are

I don't know if I should leave or float

and be there for you

Cause you might need me most

The thing is you don't know either

and that's why I'm stuck afloat

"see you later "
                              Is a promise.
      While
                  "good bye"*
                                        Is a precaution.

The first we met to say hi we were shy,  
Times we spent the best I can't deny,
I was happy with you as if I was high,
The end a lump in my throat I said goodbye,  

You ignored me and time killed my hope,
My life heads downwards as fast as *****,  
Your absence a situation that I can never cope,  
Holding on hurts more than letting go of the rope,  

What connects you and me now,  
Our pictures and memories,  
That to my cold heart,  
They mean another breeze,  

I broke my pride and to you I plead,
Ignored me again letting my wounds bleed,
I picked them up every little piece,
And I'm walking away as far as Greece,

©2015 AROODY

You tell me I have to start sleeping right
but you don't know why I'm up at night
and since when have you made decisions
about what I choose to do in my own life
the last time I remember you having a say
was way back when- before the rain came
inside my head is a war, it's been going on
for longer than you've been gone-
have no fear, this isn't your fault
it's mine for trying to rely on someone
*who is not myself.

oh my dear star light
you shone so bright
and as time passes by
I weep deep! & cry

as the waves go splash
a queer nerve it crash
my love, how blind you are
to ignore me even from afar

I'll forever keep this
and watch you vanish
slowly from me
eternally from my feelings

"I do care though, I promise."
These are the last words you said to me at this exact moment in time. I'm lying in bed and all I can think of the the time we were walking through London, tired and lost and we didn't know where we were going and I was telling you a story and you weren't listening to a word I was saying. It was then that I decided I should quieten down, a man could never love a woman with a motormouth like mine and from that day onwards I tried my best to keep myself to myself. I bottle things up now to the point where the glass smashes when it gets too full and everything comes out but it's okay because it's not coming from me, it's coming from somewhere else and when I asked you how you'd know if someone cared you told me they'd be there for you. You were never here so you never heard the words that came out when the glass shattered. You never heard and you were never around to see what would happen after, you were never around to see what I would do to myself with the broken pieces that were left on the floor for me to clean up. It doesn't happen often and for that, I am glad, but when it hits it hits hard and you should know that. You should be here because now I'm left questioning whether or not you care, and because of the fact that you taught me to stay quiet I can't even confront you about these things. And now I've always been bad with endings, so I'll say goodbye in the form of broken glass and ****** hands because this is the end.