Beauty is the Beast
That creeps beneath my bed.
Weaving together nasty thoughts
To place inside my head.

Beauty is the beast
That wakes while Im asleep
Her red eyes 'ever beaming
Sharks teeth 'ever gleaming

Beauty is the beast
Burrowed in my bony chest
Cat claws scratching at my ribs
I swear beauty never rests

Beauty is the beast
That sings my soul to sleep
With the promise of her lullabies:
A little waist and perfect thighs

Beauty is the beast
Once creeping beneath my bed
'til beauty braided with the thoughts
Now waltzing in my head
-ARI

..300, 4..
I don't want to count
The calories anymore.

-ARI

Who are you to stare at me?
Who are you to give me such harsh words?
Who are you?
Why do you do these things to me?
Why do you compare me to others?
Why do you insist I am never enough to you?
When did I do something to deserve this?
When did I begin to eat too much?
When did I begin to wrong you?
Why am I getting wider?
Why haven't you stopped me from binging?
Why haven't I been purging?
Who is Mia?

Where has she been?

What is she known for?

When did she come?

Why did she choose me?

How have I been so blind?

Knees red
Knuckles calloused
Looking into the toilet bowl
I can't stop
Its saving me

Purge myself of the day
Burning holes in my esophagus
Blood in the bowl
I can't stop
Its killing me

Fat, ugly, and unloved.
You need to go puke in the toilet.
Continue puking in the toilet, ugly *****.
Because you really are not that slim.
Only drink coffee.
No food for you today.
Starving yourself everyday will for sure keep the fat away
Stupid *****, continue to excersise.
You must look perfect before you die.

0 is only possible with water
1 sadly isn't possible and won't satisfy
13 is equivalent to that of an unappetizing snack
300 is starting to border between satisfying and too much
500 is a little out there
1,000 is unsatisfactory
2,000 is toilet time

Recovery
A long road
Tough, but
Worth traveling.
Even the worst days in recovery are better than the best days encompassed in an eating disorder.

Help
I scream
Hands shaking
I am broken
Laying on the floor cold and abandoned
I deserve this; I did it to myself
With blades to skin
Every wish
To be
Thin

-ARI