he only lays his eyes on me to create an image of who he wants me to be to lock away in his memories and replace who i am with who he wants me to be
he only desires me for my body, he’s come crawling back when i told him that the next relationship i have i think i’ll be ready to explore more of my sexuality
the desire to run hands up and down my thighs and hips never faded but whatever attraction that went deeper than physical died long ago and now the lust thrives within
he only likes me for what i have to offer, not in the moral sense of the phrase, i know he only speaks to me in this mannerism again just so she can see me on my knees staring up with pretty little eyes
he only wants me for my body and what i can supply but i still want him for his soul and his mind.

They make us believe
we have to study hard
to go well on tests
and have a promising future
as doctor, engineer or lawyer.

Memorize the equations, boy,
do a lot of exercises,
even if it makes no sense to you,
even if contradicts all your instincts,
your talent,
your heart.

The thing is the fault
isn't in the parents
and teachers,
who insist on telling us that.
The fault is on the society
which taught them to believe
that betraying your soul
was the only option.

I've got
The weight of the world
On my shoulders
I carry the Earth on my back
They throw stones at me
But I throw boulders right back
Cold shoulders
Disregard to your hand on your strap
I try to share warmth with this world
But it just makes me colder
I try to show my brothers Love
But I have less and less
As I get older
And they can't come back
I've learned to forgive
And I have no regrets
But I never forget
Nah
Not when it comes to this
You can miss me with that
Consistence
Stay persistent
God, I miss them
Still I stay laid back
Just like the way
The piece always pops
The red sight always dots
And the steady aim always protects
Lessons learned
When you earned your stripes
In the 'jects
I’ve watched so many
Loved ones leave
Like the changing of the colors
In the leaves
That my heart
Has begun to bleed
It feeds the fire in my veins
And the bullets in my teeth
Of which I load into this magazine
That hides the pain
Buried deep beneath
For all the brothers
That I've lost to the streets
Just like Pac
I shed tattooed tears
For multiple peers
And failed to sleep well
For multiple years
So I drank multiple beers
On the night that
I lost all fear
That was the night
I told those cowards
All come near
So they can all come hear
My rifle rear back
As I blast back
And I take the knife
Out of my back
And I stab back
With a pen in my hand
My pen is a bullet
And only the one's
Who didn't have time to think
Before they pulled it
Will ever understand

The covers cried out
as I break free of their greedy,
jealous grasp. First small victory…
I’m supposed to count those you know?
To remind myself to keep moving.
I still cut out my heart today
and sat it on the kitchen table.

The knife smiled at me,
small victory for it I guess.
I felt the air slaloming
between my ribs
on its way to my spine,
where it grabbed hold.
Cold, unforgiving.

I should be used to the cold,
it’s the same every today.
My needle pierces the scars
as I sew the thick flesh back in place,
to keep the cold out, of course.
Reminding me of the days
the victories weren’t enough.

I stand and put on my sweater,
grab the heart, and throw it in the trash
on my way to the covers
to ask their forgiveness for thinking
I would be strong enough today.
The victories can wait until tomorrow
after all.

When you told me you didn’t love me anymore,
I still had your bites of passions on my chest.
The imprints of your fingers grasp were still on my thighs.
And warmth of your soul was still embracing my heart.
It’s funny how with few words,
your marks of lust can turn to bruises of disgust.
The body that once had signs of our connection,
now shows spots of my shame.