I was the moon,
He - just a crescent,
Half there and half away.
I wanted to shine bright together,
He was not sure of the way.

The corners sharp, the colour dull,
Yet the smile was long to fool a fool.
I fell into the trap, believing
To find out nothing was enough
When you are lesser than a half.

He shrinks for me, myopic kindness,
Facing the other side of the sky.
I turned around, in hopes he'd realise
How long I stayed the same and by his side.

The time has passed, still
He refused to grow,
I noticed a part missing.
I don't know why, but it seemed fine to him
That I began to miss some pieces.

He started to count stars around,
Admire fallen ones and touch them.
I was still watching, not afar,
Losing the grip, and back, to madness.

And piece by piece, reflecting in the dark,
I saw my other side, in shadow.
Instead was I who realised,
I was a half as well and shallow.

Maybe it's me who hasn't moved yet,
Half hidden, half inside, inept.
I wanted change but I was, too, instead.
Too much and less. Too less.

Was it as scary, much too hopeful,
Hiding behind his back, a little rogue?
The pieces fell where it was not a problem:
He turned himself, and now I was alone.

The cosmos is too dull to understand
The shining of some stupid stars.
A speck of something real quickly fades
Because it died a half decade past.

My life is surrounded
by people armed by me,
loaded guns aimed at my heart.

Every time they leave,
I'm shot.
I bleed out for awhile
depending on who it is
Some guns are smaller
some are bigger  
but I always get repaired

You however didn't have a gun
I placed a whole nuke in your hands
It was never supposed to go off
Wasn't meant to end like this
And when you set it off
I wasn't prepared for the blast

I didn't get to bleed
Most of me is scorched and black
Shrapnel buried deep inside
the pieces that stayed in tact

Other Pieces flew places
Some of them, you must've grabbed

I'll never heal
from this wound
and Ill never get those pieces back

I started growing a garden
one of the best I'd ever had.
My very first,
grown wild and natural.

I failed to see the weeds
slowly choking it from behind.
And it suffocated the garden
time after time.

Then suddenly, there was no garden,
just silence and then dust.
No warning,
no fading,
no crumble,
collapse,
or rot.

No sign to brace for mourning,
no moment to adjust...
Nothing left to grieve,
except all that was.

Its blossoms bloomed as friendship,
each petal bright and true.
The roses held our laughter,
lilacs eased our cries,
and daisies offered humor
beneath clear blue skies.

But now it's gone to silence,
and my hands remain bare,
covered in the dust,
grasping for the something
that once had rooted there.

I dig into the ashes,
search the soil,
even the air.
begging,
pleading,
aching for a sign
a sprout, a stem, a rewind in time.

Hoping still,
the dust rewinds
Whispering to it one last time
hoping still something sprouts
even a little
to grow from this ground.

I see you’re back around her neck
Like she didn’t **** us both with the same stone
Drinking coffee and walking ‘round the city
Talking about me with pity
Giggling after a minute, but please admit she
Is the devil and not even pretty
And I want to cry, but it’s no biggie

everyone talks about
the night of a breakup
the sleepless drudge
and tear soaked pillows
but no one talks about
when adrenaline subsides
when pain turns to numbness
and you must sleep
and you may see black
or you may see a dragon with her staring down
You never expect to be around the morning after
With bird songs and slander of the 8 channel news
with the stain she left because she just never used a coaster
and her laugh follows you through halls
like a ghost who never died
And you must live through that day
and the one after
as many as you can
for you awake one of them
with only you in mind
and her scent having left everything
You will be free

dark boughs contrive to curtain off the sky,
their whisper’d frith avow what i’d enshroud;
my seat lies waiting, yet i pass it by,
for languor thickens where i’d have mistrowed.

once did i knock, and pled at thine own gate,
though all my words fell hollow at thy feet,
now dumb i stand, lest asking breed thy hate,
the sugared lie thy pity makes too sweet.

the tide upclimbs, my garments drinks its brine,
my corpse turns leaden with the sea’s command;
so love, once sweet, is ballast made of thine,
that drags me deeper than my feet can stand.

  my sovereign, smile, i think thy reign is true;
  i gasp in rout and drown myself for you.

"Words cannot express how much today meant to me.

I can tell just how much effort you’ve put into these special days to really make me happy and feel loved, and I do.

I feel so loved I guess that’s part of why I got so emotional because I have so much more to lose now and that’s scary.

I love you so very much.
You are my man.
My everything
and I adore you."

Her words: proof that I mattered. At least on that December night.