Was it ever even real,
If the love was just a drug.
That I grabbed just to feel,
In the grave that you dug.

I really thought you were pure,
Wanted me for me.
Just to be each others cure,
But I didn’t see.

How bad it would **** me up,
The regret it would leave.
I’d be permanently marked up,
Pain that nothing can relieve.

You saved me and ruined me,
So can I really be mad.
You saved my life technically,
But I’m not even glad.

You should have let me go then,
And dissapear from everyone forever.
But then you wouldn’t be able to **** with me again,
So you kept bringing me back to ***** me over.

i was sick of being
put in a box
labelled, ready to send.

i looked up holidays,
knowing if i didn’t stop,
i’d drop dead.

but even the thought
of going felt too much.

still, i clicked complete.
seats reserved
on the eurostar.

anything else
than being the other woman —
the one people fall for
when their hearts
should be sealed,
not crossed.

i need to reclaim
some of my old self
i’ve lost along the way.
maybe that’s a start.

it’s got to be enough.

i was warned
i'd fall for you.
stay away from him,
they said.
sweetie, he’s bad news.

i laughed it off,
thinking i knew better,
thinking, that this time
would be different.

i always loved a challenge.

three months it took
for my mind
to catch up
with my heart.
by then,
you’d already
moved on.

She left and I was free
Free as a bird
Free as a wild herd
Free

She left and I was happy
Happy to chase better things
Happy to stretch my wings
Happy

She left and I was alone.
Alone to do what I please.
Alone to hear the silence at home.
Alone.

She left and I am free.
Free as a bird in a cage.
Free as a man living wage to wage.
Free.

I knew that you planned to leave,
after all my text were left unread,
And you'd stop calling me every night,
it spoke the word you were afraid to,
so I did for you,
asking you why,
what had gone wrong,
And if it was my fault,
but you apologized,
and said it was you,
not me,
which I knew was a lie,
since you're just too kind to tell me.

Sleep pressed instrumentally against 
My pillow’s slighted bladder 
In its latency my incontinence
Rebounds 

Deep down I wish I’d said a final farewell
To the topography of scabs 
On his pockmarked 
Couch