It's 3.15
I'm wide awake.
Thinking about one person.
That I love the most.
But hurts me the most.
I want to shut my eyes.
I want to sleep;
forever.
Because I don't wanna wake up
tomorrow morning
Without your smile.
I' m sorry I walked away.
It hurts me the way it hurts you.

Im tired of thinking, my mind is going dizzy. I'm tired of stressing, I'm suffocating. My heart is bleeding, my veins are in pain. My ears have gone deaf and my body is weak . This is insane . I once loved you, but guess your mind was elsewhere. I thought what we raised was love, but it was in vain ...... Just lust.. Guess this is no longer my place to stay. I'm sorry for all the pain and tears I've caused. But guess it's for the best. For you, me and us. All the best. Take care. Bye....xxxx

I threw our old pictures away today,
     and cried as I did it.
I had held on for a bit,
     not knowing exactly how to
     proceed.
I knew I didn't really want to keep them,
     but our end wasn't drastic enough
     for a burning.
But today, today I finally threw them away.
And I have no clue why,
     but it's tearing me up inside.
And I have another confession while I'm at it.
The other day, when I came by
     to pick up the last of my stuff?
You were teary-eyed and I tried my hardest
     to remain hard-hearted,
     and we talked it out a little.
You said you miss me still
     and I felt like a *******
     because I replied only, "I'm sorry."
I didn't want to tell you I miss you too,
     didn't want to lie to you.
But then, as I was leaving,
     you shut the door behind me,
     and I remembered I wanted
     to remind you
     about taking me off the lease.
I turned and opened the door,
     and I saw you finally releasing
     what you had been struggling
     to hold back in my presence.
You were walking towards your room,
     sobbing.
And I witnessed that moment
     when it wasn't meant for me.
The sound of your cries
     and the shaking of your shoulders
     has haunted me since,
     an unwanted movie stuck on repeat.
And I walked away.
And I threw our old pictures out today.
And maybe I actually was meant to see
     that moment of unbridled agony,
     so that I too could feel some of your misery.
Because you loved me,
Still love me,
and I destroyed you.

To fall in and out of this drunken web we weave
Time goes by slower than desired
you still need to find what you desire
Because you won't find it in what we have conspired

I am not the dot on your radar
I am the spot you missed in the grass
I am your friend
but that grass continues to grow
and love is not what embraces it to such a mass

Silence is said to be golden
because it is simply a reiteration of things
that have the properties of being broken
What do your silent spells tell me
that my pauses in speech have not already spoken?

You are fire and I am water
But we are not blissfully ignorant
no, this is not an indie movie
we are opposites
but they do not attract
they distinguish the other
water makes fire smother
and water evaporates into its brother

You are a flame being kindled by the desires of youth
and I am waters flowing through all walks of life
with eyes of a learned elder.
I observe, you do, I observe you,
I intrigue you, You act upon you.

I flow and you burn
We are opposites that don't attract
This isn't a dream, but we can surely act
I have a beautiful mind
You have a beautiful body
and you have such a hollow tact

We both have passions
Mine compassion, yours politics
Mine genuine, yours manipulative
Emotions are art, emotions are toys
Find your heart in clever decoys

I see your core
Yes, it's beautiful
but your afflictions have it so clouded
that you are pushing me away
You need to sort out your clouds
You need to act
I need to observe.

Is she still your reflection?
Because I look in the mirror and only see decay
I see her dancing in your eyes
I know her figure is projected onto your eyelids while you sleep
An hourglass full of grains of 'yesterdays'
That you shatter just to fall asleep
Changing behind screens as to not expose your secrets
By tomorrow I will be nothing but an outline in the sand
Left by children too young to know better or understand
Too naïve to have seen the storm clouds rolling their way
I might have been looking for a needle in a stack of hay
And like a magpie you found it and hid it in your back pocket
Taking my hand, distracting it from what it yearned for
Using the other to pull my heart out
Only now am I starting to mind the bleeding
I frantically smear my insides on to my chest
In the hope that I have a chance of saving myself
You can try your hardest to forget me
But I wont let you do so
Easily
I'll plague you when I finally fall in love again
I'll haunt you when you stay round her house, my friend
Your soup will taste like my mouth
And I swear it will defeat you like poison
Your skin eaten away like cotton by a moth
You'll find me hidden in graveyards
A twisted reminder of what we once had
I am not quite driftwood yet but when I am
I hope to float your way