She stares at the ceiling
cracks whispering her name,
over and over.
hundreds of tiny breaks hid by glass skin

Wrists a scarred mess
carrying every
“I’m ok”
like a rock in her chest
a temple of happy lies
but when one brick falls,
the walls crack open

Dancing in the shards of glass and debris
sharp edges,
bleeding heels,
every cut,
a reminder she will never be herself again
each shard embedded,
an endless silent scream

but when she shatters,
it's not like the movies,
no slow-motion
or music
only the raw snap of a soul
pushed too far
bending
until it breaks,
shattered into a thousand pieces

glassgirl no more

After years of
Constant self-abuse
I've finally reached
My breaking point
And I don't think
Superglue will
Do this time

I go to the doctors
just for a checkup,
she puts her hand on my chest to feel my heart.
And at that moment i wonder if she can feel how its broken into a million pieces.
I wonder if she can feel with each thump, another piece breaking off.
I wonder if she can feel all the denial, all the workers in my brain trying to mend those pieces together,
but then it all breaking apart again.

Just now I broke a teapot.
My mind was in a spell:
The shards look back forlornly,
the cracking sound was its knell.

It was a treasured heirloom
passed down from age to age,
touched by hands from times of old
but now I’ve turned its page.

It had served my family well
etched by tea and good times spent.
For now I’ll just be grateful
that this old *** came and went.

Will I find you in Spring?
Immersed in profound happiness,
Or do I look for you in autumn?
In the depths of my despair,
Hollow and brittle,
Like the leaves.

i burn myself,
cover limbs in dirt

wrap my shoulders in cloth
and bury the dead.

bury the aching.
and the singe.

suffocate myself
by closing the coffin lid.

hope it will smother
the scent of my burning flesh.

i'm tearing hot flesh from warmed bones,
this is not living.

i do not know how
to extinguish the flame of you.

i would rather burn
then drown in the guilt of letting you go.

How many times have
We each said that
One to another,
You to me
And me to you,
Just a word and yet
A whole sentence,
Entire paragraphs on occasion,
Hey hello,
Hey how's it going?
Hey, I have missed you
And I love you
And I am so very very glad
We are in one another's lives
Because it, and this, and we
Are precious,

And although you in your mood
And anger and self-righteous
ADHD infused rage
May never say hey to me
Again in this life,
Even though soon
If not already
Your strop will thaw
And your softness return but
Stay painted in a corner
Against the risk of finding love,
Although you only see the ****** bits
And focus on anything but those
Truly great memories we have,
Despite all that
I am am still here,
And despite verse two I am still
Standing here,

And I am still saying

HEY

Can you hear?

I am cold ,
Like ice.
My soul sunk
Like the sun at night.
And though I tried
To leave you behind,
The thoughts of you
Did not subside.
They wandered
About,
Inside my mind,
Climbed great heights
Like clouds of sky.
But clouds,
They rain,
As did my eyes.
For now,
My heart,
Has left to die.