i worry that you don't love you the way you make me love me

that when you're alone you remind yourself of the people who aren't with you in person instead of remembering the people who love you from afar

that when the sun goes down you're surrounded by monsters in your closet instead of stars in the sky

that you've stopped trying to keep yourself warm and started letting people make you cold

that you lie to yourself that you're fine even when i see you cry

I let the words pour out of me
Like slicing open a vein
Blood letting, to rid me of the disease
In repetitive disdain I’m dissed again
What a lewd thought to think it would let me go

Still, a flailing hope
A grasp of desperation
as my essence drains from the inner highways of my heart
A hope that it may heal the hurt
That maybe somehow the delivering and uttering
of pen and paper will relieve me
Please, just a little relief from the agony within
A cathartic reverence that will send me into a seizure
For a life that’s seized is my daily torment
A ravage beast who tore through men
and me just a boy
A white rabbit for the slaughter

And with Dr. Lecter psychotic patience
You did not devour me quick
Took your time
A new toy
Minutes turned into hours
your playful taunt and tease
To the unknowing
A provocative game entrenched in innocence and desire
I know, to juxtapose the two is almost paradoxical
Only a dark spirit, a shadow wraith, an entity of the night
can deliver such torture and delight

A delicious tour makes me quiver
both with fear and excitement
Fire and ice
Drops of hot wax while bathing in ice cubes
You bath me with your love
You burn me with your spice
When I wince or flinch
I see upon your face
With satisfaction a smile appears
Grinning broadly from ear to ear

Wrapped around your finger
as if there ever was a doubt
Eons gone and warped through space
my mind you warp
my thoughts you erase
Like a hunting trophy hung to dry the flesh
Both arms and legs are bound up tight
There I’m hung, served up for you upon a dish

Blood cut off, feels like atrophy in my tissue
I am your servant offering no service
A visceral charge within me
The rushing thrill of fear
I see the blood in your eyes
the fangs in your teeth
but I do not cower away
Lunging towards you for relief
A parasite inside my brain
Narrow sighted
and choosing sides
Forever by your side
Do it now!
I want to feel your fangs sinking deep into me
and drain me of my life force
Taking every drop I have to give

Offered up, I am your nectar
Dancing the line between life and death
A euphoric Hell
wrapped up in your spell
Enslaved to you for eternity
Inserted into the ignition you turned the key
the motor roars
with thunderous sounds
Screams and cackles like wild animals
Deafening shrills
and the most unnatural of notes
until a resounding silence

The storm has passed
but the clouds still remain
The ominous is drifting about
uncertainty with such certainty
A certification given
with a two-ton weight
****** upon my chest
from where you ripped my heart
and now on your pain I live
An accepted compromise

Like an oscillating frequency
or a voyager forever caught between two storms
This is the fate I choose
I will endure the pain and abuse
A tribute to you my love
to show how much I care
Infinite reassurance I must fulfill
but upon fulfilling the role of assurance
No insurance needed
A guarantee
I am splayed out and crucified for you
and our delightful game we play again

My reward; your gifts
A ward to you
at beckoning call
My beacon
My lighthouse
The world had turned black
Living each day in horror
Pulled me from that abyss
only to throw me back in from time to time
but I bide my time
for the time in between
when I’m in between you
The taste of your kiss
A Utopian bliss
You retract
take it away
Like a fiend needing a fix
In agony I miss
No limit
Tear me limb from limb
Rip me apart and make me die in agony!
No price is too great
would pay anything
Give up Kingdoms
for this