Catching all the hills on fire
Just to see them burn, I take a breath.
Smoke and dust bind my righteous life underneath my eyelids.
Who would have thought
Freedom tastes so sweet?
I clung so hard to a future
We'd never live to see
And as time moves on without us
I know it's for the best
For with every mile between us,
My heart beats more at rest
Our love was the eye of a storm
Swirling in the midst of chaos
But our minds fooled us both
With memories of what was
But what was lives in the past
And even there, it's twisted
Morphed from desperate prayers
And our wasted wishes
The past rots in our lingering thoughts,
Subtle yet present forevermore;
Yet still, I'll keep the lock on tight;
Never again will I reopen this door.
Thinking about the week after that smoke break
The beginning of continuous mistakes
First time unplanned second time was for the take
The fireplace for your lonely brisk night
Was friends of three turned to two
How it was for me, framed and blamed
For things never being the same
Temporary connections, use to false affections
It should have been different
I changed thinking it’ll be worth it
But you turned out to be so arrogant
That’s what caused the sudden split
You came back, thought we could attempt to make it work
With that hopefulness I only earned a slight smirk
Then in an instant saw nothing but flowers
Minutes that went by, for me, felt like hours
Purple daffodils printed on a white silk pillow case
And scratches from long callous hands
That feeling I could never erase
Feeling warm in the worst way
Wishing after you wouldn’t want to stay
Diving into that state of mind like quicksand
Said things would stay the same
But the distance increased, now we don’t speak
This memories for you to keep
I bet you’re still “glad you came”
This time I am going to do things differently
I'm so scared we're destined to fail
Was in a state of blind hope before
Blinded but I learned to read braille
All this feels vaguely familiar
It's only a matter of time
I'll find out you haven't changed
Not ready to accept the signs
I wish I decided with my brain
I'm in a battle with my heart
One pulls your direction
Drags away cause we're better apart
I wish I could read braille for real
Prove me wrong.
Prove that love does not mean soul.
Love blinds the eyes
Love blinds the mind.
Now we can see.
More than never.
Love is our real eyes. Love blinds the eyes, blinds the mind.
Oft I shun my desires
Oft I run too much
I fail to understand from what though
The venomous clamor from the window,
Or the clangor of my own?
What is more frightening to deal with?
What matters more?
Perhaps, choice has come early to me
Perhaps, rejoice has bid farewell early to me
What am I to do with the abundance of nothingness that stretches across?
𝐹𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝐺𝑜𝑑, 𝐼 𝑎𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑞𝑢𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤ℎ𝑦 𝑚𝑒.
𝐼 𝑎𝑚 𝑜𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑞𝑢𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤ℎ𝑦 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑒.
When you've prepared yourself for the worst; and it still comes. But from the wrong direction.
I wouldn't have to read the worlds horror if I was blind
Wouldn't hear all these sirens if I was death
I couldn't feel pain if I had CIP
Couldn't cry if I was apathetic
I wouldn't have any fears if I were to die
But being brave is more impressive these days
And most importantly I wouldn't be able to write mediocre poems
If I were dead
Congenital insensitivity to pain (CIP) is one or more rare conditions in which a person cannot feel (and has never felt) physical pain.