You say I'm quiet,
you say I'm stupid.
I say you're low,
I suggest you grow.

Yeah, yeah, I know.
Next time we meet
I should probably show
how far I can actually go.

Crawl back to mama,
make a big drama.
Nothing you can do,
not a ******* clue.

Maybe I'm the *****,
maybe I'm the *****.
But I'm not the one
that has to bow low.

i do have a life of my own.
not everything i do revolves around you.
lately i've minimised my contact and relations i have with you.
and you're my best friend.
something has changed in you and i don't seem to connect anymore.
i think i realised this change of personality on New Years Day.
when the question was asked; 'what is your ultimate goal for this year ahead of us?'
'to **** as many guys as i can possible'
i mean that's cool and all.
and like i suppose i support you in anything you do..
but its different.
'to be content with myself and figure out my future'
that was my answer..
it seems like our answers could never actually come from best friends.
or at least that's my opinion.
but i think i've come to realise that i do not want you in my life if that is your biggest goal of this year.
but you act like its all a joke because you've realised that you will never have the potential to do something worthwhile.
too late now i suppose.
and you spring up a plan on me for a week ahead to be out of town for almost a week.
after evaluating it all, i found out i am unable to go due to prior commitments.
you know..? like things you promise to do and won't change if other things come up.
but you don't know that..
once i was upset so you sent me a text saying that we're having a confrontation that arvo only for you to blow it off and **** your boyfriend instead.
i can genuinely say that i was depressed and was on the verge of suicide and just knowing the level of importance i had to you nearly sent me over the edge.
i hope you're happy... with yourself.
as when i told you that i couldn't attend, you attempt to convince yourself that the trip will now be "mega sucky".
but in the same minute you send a message asking with exclamation points and all if it was still okay for you to go with the girl you replaced me with.
you didn't just replace me on this trip..
you replaced me as your best friend.
and i'm not coming back..
i guess that's "mega sucky"
**** to **** *****.

"IM A *****"
I catch myself saying more often than not.
But oh no,
no no no I am not actually one.
My dear friend,
this facade, if you will, is protecting me from getting hurt by people and expectations, from allowing people to see who I actually am.

When I die and go begrudgingly into my next life, don’t lie about who I was
Don’t say I lead a life free of sin and was a breath of fresh air to everyone I met
Tell the world I was a strong woman with a foul mouth and I stood up for what I believed
Tell the world that I was mean and unkind to those who were that way to me
Don’t say I was a pure young woman who touched everyone’s hearts
Tell the world I left my mark on the people I met because I was strange and unusual
Tell the world I swore like a sailor and would not be walked all over like an area rug
Don’t say that I was so beautiful and it’s a wonder why I was never married
Tell the world I took up too much space and I stomped on the hearts of men
Tell the world nobody was in love with me as I went on into the afterlife
Don’t say lies about me during my passing
Tell the world I lead a life of surprise and anxiousness and tumultuous self destruction
When I die, tell the world the truth and remember I will feel no shame