They "One" My Pride

Why do I feel guilty
I didn't do anything
I just want to be whole
I want to feel safe
The only way I can ensure my safety
Is to stay hidden
If my secret got out
I would be *******
You see my parents are catholic
And homophobic as hell
And I hate to lie to them  
I don't have a choice
I want to stay here
And so, I'll go back to the closet

"Unbreakable"
Times like this, I wish I never existed
Nobody wants to listen
I'm screaming out for help
Times like this, I wish that I could let go
And open up a window, free to be myself
But then there's you
Standing over me, tryna make a fool of me
Tryna get the best of me
Oh, then there's you
Tryna shut me out, tryna kick me when I'm down
That ain't gonna stop me now, no
How does it feel to know that I don't care at all?
Your words don't mean a thing at all
I chose to rise, you chose to fall
How does it feel to know that I am capable?
Of more than you will ever know
Don't tell me I'm not good enough
Don't you bring me down
I'm moving up and you're over now
You gave me fire
Everytime you came around
My feet are steady on the ground
And you won't knock me down
No more, oho, oho,
Now I'm unbreakable
Oho, oho, oho,
Now I'm unbreakable
Times like this, I'm picking up the pieces
I'm making up the reasons
Not to tell a soul
Times like this, I'd rather speak to no one
I just wanna move on, stand up on my own
But then there's you
Standing over me, tryna make a fool of me
Tryna get the best of me
Oh, then there's you
Tryna shut me out, tryna kick me when I'm down
That ain't gonna stop me now, no
How does it feel to know that I don't care at all?
Your words don't mean a thing at all
I chose to rise, you chose to fall
How does it feel to know that I am capable?
Of more than you will ever know
Don't tell me I'm not good enough
Don't you bring me down
I'm moving up and you're over now
You gave me fire
Everytime you came around
My feet are steady on the ground
And you won't knock me down
No more, oho, oho,
Now I'm unbreakable
Oho, oho, oho,
Now I'm unbreakable
I remember getting tease as a kid
Cause at the place that we lived
We never had it easy, believe me
But that don't excuse the things that we did
Wouldn't accept that I was never accepted
Shed so many tears like I fell in depression
But if I changed, I wouldn't get called names
But it was all the same, I was feeling rejected
Putting someone down that's a low blow
What goes around comes around like a yoyo
Wish that I could stop time like a photo
But we stand strong, bounce back like a pogo
Don't tell me I'm not good enough
Don't you bring me down
I'm moving up and you're over now
You gave me fire
Everytime you came around
My feet are steady on the ground
And you won't knock me down
No more, oho, oho,
Now I'm unbreakable
Oho, oho, oho,
Now I'm unbreakable

I am gay.
Gay, as in happy that I am still alive
Holding a hand, a kiss in broad daylight.
Some have lost their lives for less.

Don’t ask me, why so many violent acts begin with love.
A gentle caress or a caring word.
There is no logical reason.

Is it..fear?

Phobia is described as an intense and persistent fear.
Claustrophobia, Arachnophobia, Trypophobia.
Homophobia.
How can the love of one strike fear in another?

We use the term “in the closet”, decorating up the shadowed up life that is hiding who we are.
The closet is the best place to hide a skeleton.
Not a soul will come looking.

Put n that mask each day, go to work, talk with friends,
Always perceived as something other than the color you hide beneath.
Something normal, default.
Straight.

There is a spectrum of color running through these veins,
And all those before me, who had to fight tooth and nail to be seen.
Riots, screaming protests, pride parades under the threat of death.
Waiting with held breaths, to find out if you would be the next to die.

My mother tells me to love myself for who I am. Tells me I have a will like iron and a sensitivity thats softer than most
I am one of the lucky ones.
Leaving your safe haven that is the closet, can be like throwing a grenade.
Destroying everything in its vicinity.

Even when days get dark, I will continue on, for those who succumbed to the aids crisis, and others who have faded to oblivion.
For the thousands who died side by side,
their rags marked with a pale pink triangle.
They still live on.
In me.
In you.

So many lives lived in the dark.
A muffled cry trapped beneath neck ties and dresses.


It is time to spread those rainbow painted wings,
And fly.