tears stained red
from all the times
that you hurt me
left me to be
all by myself
searching for guidance
in my time of need

tears stained black
i let you go
but you still haunt me
in the dark of night
your memory
will never leave me
you won't let me free

tears stained blue
i'm moving on
i'll become new
i'll have new friends
by the days end
i can be strong again
i will be strong again

Why do I feel guilty
I didn't do anything
I just want to be whole
I want to feel safe
The only way I can ensure my safety
Is to stay hidden
If my secret got out
I would be *******
You see my parents are catholic
And homophobic as hell
And I hate to lie to them  
I don't have a choice
I want to stay here
And so, I'll go back to the closet

I know that I'm a disappointment.

I've only been told that half a million times.

It's a running joke within the family now.

I know that I get angry at you.

I know I fight with you.

I know I make things hard.

And as much as you don't think so,

I'm trying really hard.

I'm trying to be better.

I'm trying to better myself.

Get my grades up.

And fix myself for you.

But to you,

I'll always be a dissapointment.

I wish to be a flower
Budding in beauty
Admired by all passerbys
Picked from the ground
By gentle hands
Only to be dropped
Out of rejection
Onto the sidewalk
And blown under
The passing cars