Sometimes or maybe everytime,
I feel like crying;
Without any reasons,
Or withouty tears.
Tired of stuff,
Everything and everyone.
It hurts more,
People and there trust issues.
Sometimes things which they expect,
Maybe attachments are the ones,
Which are reluctant.
Everything is fake,
Everyone is fake.
Fake soulmates,
Fake wellwishers,
Fake emotions,
Fake care.
Is anything pure and real,
Like my bliss.
You worry i dont talk?
I can cry,
But i won't express.
I can write it down,
But cant tell.
I can talk,
But not conversate.
I can care,
But only for you.
I can help,
But not me.
I can worry,
But only for you.
I can smile,
But only fake.
I can advise,
But not to myself.
You worry i dont talk?
I keep telling myself,
You wanted then you would.
If you wanna talk,
Ego on top.
I am not ignoring,
I am just not in a position to justify it anymore.
You think i am drifting?
No, am not,
I am just trying to be alone, lonely.
No fears,
No emotions,
No fake,
No toxicity,
No cares,
No howling.
Only me, my feelings,
My tears,
My broken heart,
My soul,
My uncured feelings,
And a sense of loneliness.
It might sound depressing,
But its not.
Its the reality.
If you wanna talk,
Ego on top.
No cry,
No tear,
A heavy heart overthinking,
And a lot of fear.
If this doesn't understand me,
Then i dont know what does.
You ask me if i am okay,
You now i am not.
Then please stop this formality,
Cause i don wanna fake.
If you really care,
Look in my eyes,
Hug me tight,
Cause you know am not fine.
Sometimes i hate to be this close,
Cause when you pull even a slightest bit,
It appears as if the world is splitting in two.
I may care,
I may care a lot.
But once you are courageous enough to part,
Then i am reluctant enough to come back.
Maybe thats why,
Am not a permanent person in anyone's life.
But i assure you i am the best temporary you will ever meet.
I try,
Not cry.
But i weak enough,
To let it all go.
Am tired of opening myself,
Again and again.
But now i am just done.
I dont know who to trust,
Whom to prioritize,
Whom to avoid,
Whom to love?
I know i have friends,
But i don't,
Who talk,
About the ****.
That goes inside mu head.
Cause i know they just cant take it...
I dont know why the people i prefer the most are temporary,
Sometimes,
The memories,
The thoughts,
The late night conversation,
The feelings
Just become like ghosts.
People are there,
But not present.
Few are the tried ones,
Who are broken,
And are long gone,
Before you even realize.
I may care,
A bit too much,
A bit too soon,
Never think.
I ignore you,
If i do so,
Then only for your good.
.
.
.
Gone??
Gone, is the wrong word,
For someone who was never there for you.
You love them more than yourself,
Maybe thats why you lost yourself a long time ago.
Its the time to wake,
And not feel guilty.
For the things you never did.
Why do we have emotions?
Why do we have feelings?
Why do we care?
Just chill out,
And care a little less.
Blade in my hand,
Cuts on my limbs.
Broken heart,
And a lost pet.
Is there anything else you wanna know??
Yes,
Yes i am obsessed with death,
Cause there is no reason of living such a meaningless,
Pointless life.
So once and for all,
Let it all go.
People come and say,
Its gonna be fine,
Well i know its never gonna be...
Is it just about the moment?
This hour?
This day?
This weak?
This month?
This year?
Or my whole life?
Is there a chance?
Is there a hope?
Because all the darkness cannot extinguish,
Even a single ray of light.
But now even this philosophy,
Goes above my head.
Its my life,
Which you cannot change.
So dont give me hope,
Cause there is no scope!
