when i was a little girl
i sat at my window every night
and dreamed about flying away
then i would tuck myself into bed
and dream until the next day

then one night as i sat on the sill,
the moon and stars were shining so bright
i flung that window open,
grabbed a bouquet of balloons,
and set off on my flight.

the wind carried me, in my nightdress
up, up, up
to the stars and the moon
with my little toes dangling below me,
away i went with my birthday balloons.

i flew over my neighbor's house,
then over the twinkling lights of the city.
i flew over rivers, lakes and trees.
from up there, everything looked so pretty.

i flew over farmlands with cows and chickens
then over parks with beautiful fountains,
then i crossed over great, wide oceans
and floated over snow-capped mountains.

i never wanted to touch the ground
so i continued on my way.
if you look up in the sky you just might see me
flying with my balloon bouquet.

So....introduction.

Hi humans. I’m a balloon.
I have pink skin,
And just air within,
I’m big and round and I can burst,
And I’m bound by a string.

Right now...

I’m just drifting
with the clouds and birds..
The air has total control.

I don’t know what awaits,
I’m lost but I’m not afraid
It’s actually so thrilling...(and cold)

All things look so small from high up;
tiny lands, tiny animals, tiny humans
It’s stunning.

I'll just sit back and allow the winds to control me..

It’s so good to just...*float away...

I tied my noose to twenty-seven balloons I'd filled with my own hopes and hot air.
I let them carry me until I was no longer there because I forgot what it meant to be real and gave up on ever being healed.

I opened my eyes to stare at the ceiling.
Stained with water and the paint peeling in strips and fragments like the edges of my resistance. If life is all a dream well I can't help but wonder who's dreaming.

Knock on my head and hear the reverb hollow.
It echoes throughout like my thundering heart beat but where's my brain beat? Ignorance is bliss but no one said bliss tastes sweet.

The water in my lungs is deep enough to drown but still shallow enough to hear every note I've got left in my xylophone ribs. I guess this is what you meant when you asked me to forgive.

But I ******* all my anger into twenty-seven little strings and blew kisses to the wind. It's goodbye that's gonna take me home again. So if you see me floating know that I am real but I couldn't bring myself to heal.

I wrote merit words like "love, regret, hate, sorry"
Then it turned to short run-on sentences like" forgive me, I say sorry more than I mean it, I ******* hate you, "on black & blue balloons. I tied them to your limbs to keep you balanced.
But one day I came back to cut the strings and as I they flew through a sea like sky.
I realized I can't take them back now.