She lives inside
of a bubble
to protect from
outside threats
pretending life can be
lived without frets
while ignoring the ones
that live in the mirror;
the heart that lives in fear
of exposure to anything real
because she believes
consequence doesn’t exist
if she never takes risks

Until she acknowledges
the sufferance
that can’t be avoided
her life will consist of
a lonely oceanic view
where she dances alone,
even with company that’s new,
a part of her will always
feel empty, hollow
unless the bubble bursts
and she accepts the reality
that life is supposed to hurt

No matter my crisis,
There’s one thing I know-
Even when I’m at my lowest,
I still make the ******* joke.

The room goes quiet,
So I start to smile.
Deflecting pain like an actress,
It never goes out of style.

Tears sting behind my eyes,
But I deliver the line clean.
And everyone laughs,
Because no one knows what the **** it means.

My hurt has a laugh track-
Invisible, robotic, rehearsed.
And if I keep it playing loud enough,
Maybe I won’t feel the worst.

Because silence feels like sinking,
And truth feels like a loss.
But a joke? That’s a win.
Misery is humor’s final boss.

I can’t tell you how much I miss her
or I might begin to cry
it may just be the idea of her
and my memory is a lie
either way, there is a deep-rooted longing
the need for companionship and belonging
someone to share my love and passion
feel free to call me old fashioned
but I miss her whoever she was or could be
her that fulfilled all my needs
where have you gone the love of my life
I know the answer I know that you died
tell me how I fill that void
that hole where a heart once sat
now those feelings I try to avoid
now I only deal in facts
the fact is I talk to strangers
about everything but love
how can I tell them how much I crave her
about what really is and was
now I use my body to numb the pain
so many strangers
so many forgotten names
I can’t name her
or remember her voice
I can’t even say she loved me back
or that she really had a choice
so please please cut me some slack
if I step out of line
and if I look a little down
please ask again if I say I’m fine.

Oh, to be so vulnerable
I trusted you so much
You lifted my shirt, and I thought you saw my soul
Your touch was painful

Oh, to be so vulnerable
To say the beauty I hold
And say I look good in white, not gold
I trusted you with my body

Oh, to be so vulnerable
Even the dunes ***** next to the shore
But my love dimmed no more
Isn't love supposed to be tolerable

Oh, to be so vulnerable
I wasn't aware addiction could be a caprice
For touch, there was never a price
But then you left, and I felt the mellowness
of hands without its fellowship

Oh, to be so tied
To want to stray but never hide
To feel the fear but not the wrongs
To feel the stabs but not see the blood
The Finest Act in God's way
Was to make a tune
never to be played

Tall order
To a whining child's offer
Didn't is my best friend, a word there
That has silence as a prophet

Winds of dissuasion
In the name of admission
A skill of pride, and intuition
Has future sorts, for a private listing

Once, upon a time...
A readied smile, has sought a thrill
Of curiosity's same, the some of trying
A panicked we, with a service to an ideal, to still

Thresholds of jaundiced more
In the skirted issue, of poignancy
To add and rest, in the name of full on war
With a finger of opportunity...

Seem and dreamt of, in foreign lands
A philosophy of courtesy, in vague fights
We have seen the obvious, the march of times hands
Into a wall of significance, looking for senses rights

Hope a shadow see's the better of a painting
Escape or given the boat of departure
The times are a changing heed, to live with a mercy wishing
For the childhood, of baring a friends win, of curiosity...

Look suspicious?
Save me from a toiling health, that has the kindness
Of worth, for a running here and now, to acquire a lesser us
In the name of joy, these charity's accept the known, with a shame's best?

Break, my fingers can't stop
the Shake, fight the sandman
that Face, a grin of pure evil
don't Trace, the lines of the devil
he Takes, the girl who smiles
her Brace, the teeth are wild
and Stage, your own undoing
a Mage, a mood is brewing
a Rage, a storm is on
the Waters, he's coming he's coming
don't Flaunt her.
It's you that's running your time, tap tap
bleeding it out like wine and water
a rose he dines alongside, it flows
come gather your manly pride, but you're froze.

Hold your breath. Explode. Put it to the test.
Sleep. Rest. Dive. Go deep.
Must break the sheath. Deny you're weak.
The futures bleak, for those who hide.
Those who wait. Grate your teeth.
They who sleep, buried deep
Them that run, find your fun in
what got you running to begin with, the
Revolutionscaryness
risk of unawaryness
chase the chance to advance
and romance the possibility of fruitful fairy tales.

We saw each other more often
frequent as the primes in 1 to 10
Mending each other’s boredom
widening our degrees of freedom

Ranted on things under the sun
Noted our signs, roots, and sum
We took turns airing problems
Shared proofs for peer checking

Did sanity check on our numbers
Whether in life, music, or games
Exchanged secrets and dreams
Reciprocated emojis and DMs

In the end, we skipped one thing
An asymptote we avoid touching
Assumed “us” was undefined
Then met our limits and resigned