I spill my thought a into words
Words spell out more than a simple fiber
Although I sometimes wish I could digest more easily
Among shades of brokenness
(a place I am not in)
They put me in a place with scribbles on the walls.
Scribbles not incomprehensible but rather startling, at least at first
Reading words off of a board can only amuse for so long
Adjacent to people with issues similar to mine
Why am I here? I was asking only that and not when it began.

White padded walls
That's what I see Day in and day out
This isn't what I wanted to be
I realize now that I'm crazy
That's why it's an insane asylum that contains me
I acted upon impulse
Not thinking of the horrifying result
I'm the outcome of a terrible tragedy that I went the wrong way about
And now without a doubt
I regret my actions
The interactions that I had without thinking twice
And now I pay the price
I was angry and they didn't deserve this
It wasn't up to me to end the life that they lived
The small child in the crib. The life for you that there could have been.
But I took that from you
And there is so much I would do to give it back
The only things that's possible to say is that I'm sorry
But sorry just won't do it. It won't make up for what I've taken from you.
All because I was angry and didn't think I could muster a smile. All the while I could've focused on what was good
But I didn't think twice and thought my sadness was yours and my mind took the wrong course
And made me think I couldn't make you happy anymore.
All I think about is the blood on the floor of your mothers and yours.
I'm sorry child. For my actions that had gone wild. The whole situation isn't right.
How could I have done this?
How could I have put you on the receiving end of the knife
When I was the one who gave you life.

Step on the scale
fidget
fidget
"Three Digits!"
f a t

Shuffle back to Your Room
p r i s o n  c e l l

8:00AM
Drag yourself to the main desk
The Morning Medication line is long today
m i n d l e s s

Pretty pills fill your palm
They have changed colors today
They are all shapes, large and colorful
c y a n i d e

PLUNK PLUNK PLUNK

They dive into your empty stomach
Swim in acid and glide through your veins

Emotional Morphine-
You await the glorious numbness
s a n i t y

and still you crave the blade.

*b l o o d

I am in a deep dark hole--
An asylum of my mind.
It's better to be locked in a room
Where no damage can be done,
Where everyone treats me as who they perceive me to be--
A ****** lunatic.
I know this isn't my rightful place,
I know I sound so childish and
Narcissistic
To say these things,
But if there is no escape from your pain,
What a better place to reside?

I scream and scream for hours
In this nightmarish dream,
Without the knowledge of the darkest secrets
Hiding in the mist of all this black.

All the while the prince tries to rescue me.

I guess it's unclear if I
Let myself be trapped or if
You have trapped me in my own
Sick state of existence.

I long for the prince's arms to be around me.