And when all of you are tucked in,
asleep soundly in your beds.
The comforter I'd sewn,
keeping you safe like I promised,
I'll shut the door
and close my eyes to weep too.

In my first and final year
Of higher education
At a party of familiarity
I did not aspire to find my limits
And yet
I exceeded them
And lay in a whirlwind,
At the night's close,
Which ****** the air from my lungs
As I forgot how to breathe

Avaricious sirens bore down and
Led me to water
Hooked into my veins
So I couldn't refuse to drink
And a doctor told me
That there were always better options
Than drinking myself away
Naturally,
I grinned and laughed
As if the very idea were preposterous
And yet, couldn't look him in the eyes
"Trust me,"
I assured the man
"That isn't the plan"

No,
The truth is I never had a plan
No grand scheme
To end my suffering
I just slowly taught myself
Not to to take care
To cut myself off
From my lifelines
So that when I did finally find my limit
I wouldn't have far to jump

...but, truthfully
I never wanted to jump
I wanted some calamitous wind
In the form of a stranger
To come along and push

Yet, against all odds
For reasons I cannot discern
I've found
Those who wander into my life
Don't push, but pull
Pull me down from that precipice
Sometimes on accident, or
With intent
Of saving a life
But no matter how grateful I am
To be held and reassured
I always find myself back
Overlooking the sea of my past mistakes
Ready to drown myself
In the towering waves of regret

I wish I could find life worth living
On my own
For myself
But, I find myself living for them
Those who hang on to me
Keeping me balanced
Keeping me
From finding my limits
And for now that's enough
That's enough

“I love you,”
she told him.
At last!
Instead of breaking down,
crying with relief and joy,
as he thought he would,
he whispered back:
(because...
all but a whisper
was drained out of him)
“I love you, too.”

And, in a moment,
the very words
he had waited for,
longed for,
imagined,
became his tether,
a warm vest,
a peculiar fold in the blanket,
one holds through the night.

He repeated them like a mantra.
He pictured them in the ceiling tiles above the bone scan machine.
He heard them in the rhythm of the doctor’s voice,
He saw their outline in the branches beyond the window,

And they were the very last sound,
softly tumbling through his mind
when he slipped away.

After a neat little bite
She slid his sandwich into its baggie
And smiled,
Never tiring of her little joke.

“See, it’s alright. Im here with you, having a little fun!”

After the bell he peered into the bag.
And there it was
And a note:
“I love you, Aaron. “

This morning’s mixture of boredom and fear punctuated by her love

Then he daydreamed of helping with the clothespins,

Sheets snapping in the wind

Hush, Baby, Hush.
Soothing and Pillowy, Lush is Love.
Waters Rush, Rain Pour, Tears Fall.
Sleep, My Baby, Sleep.
For Dreams, Life's Balm, Soothes.

I'm slinkin out,
puttin a future behind.
My thoughts are in a scatter
How can i decipher all this chatter?

I just wanna float by in a haze
Leave my mind in hope for some sort of praise,
One moment of peace.

I can't take the accusations
I may seem lost but it's all in the creation

Boozed up, no judgement to spare
Wouldn't have even bothered on a dare
Am I the only scumbag?
Nah, you're all ****** in the head too.

I let the shell crumble
Gave into the demon.
No ***** left to give,
I'm in this alone.
My mind knows its truth,
My heart ignores its signs.

Make me smile and maybe my
Legs spread, knees bend.
Seek your truth,
Have you found mine?