SPLINTERED - the antidote  

'choosing to remain Impervious until the reflected familiarity enters the body by connecting, presenting the vast realm of awareness - the unbearable lightness of being floats into the atmospheric sound.  vibrating deeply to souls core...are he and I still impervious to others... all the while the dark familiar perched watching our transformation '

with empathy, i understand
as we began the third act,
the moment of ******* ...
fingers at my throat
he would take command.

encased in a tough outer skin
from years of pressing down...of squeezing... his own pain transmuting through the pressure. pushing the anger and hurt back into his own body.

layer upon layer of scar tissue,
release of the useless agony the poison trapped below the surface.

knowing was present when I stood beside him.
as the ritual began,
vermilion borders grazing,
lips, ivory snarling over my skin

i pleaded for just a few moments and denial did not come.  

one. two. three...i counted.
waiting for the sacred sensation.
exploding inside this realm of physical boundaries he filled the vacancy in my heart with each movement.

in perfection, gasping as he penetrated

pushing me down into the space,
thrusting essence of his being into me, touching the awareness of my mirrored imperviousness  
his intensity pulled me into the void
we launched, penetrating our exterior skin...knowingly allowing the shedding to begin.

puncturing his thick skin,
my fangs drew out the poison...
into my body it flowed.

the antidote is him.
my death was a whim
to my surprise
the antidote is him.
~7Au17 Rachael Hays
Published 2Ja20

Nuit noire mais belle de Malaga
Empoisonne-moi
De tes hamecons et de tes leurres
Envenime-moi
De tes vers luisants et polissons
Qui gigotent dans le vin du clair de lune
Instille-moi de tes piqûres,  de tes ourlets
Des criquets qui chantent au fond de tes criques
Innocule-moi
Tes vaccins, tes rappels et tes antidotes
Cachés au creux des terriers
Des mangues et des câpres qui mûrissent
Sous tes obscènes caresses.
Obsède-moi
De la froidure romantique de tes rhums capiteux
Muselle-moi dans  la cannelle de ta souricière
Bâillonne-moi de tes eaux de Styx
Engloutis
Capture
Relâche
Aspire-moi de tes yeux de khôl
Je ne suis qu'étincelle
Infime brindille incandescente d'amour
Dans l'attente fébrile du point du jour.

They tell me that one day someone will come into my life and make everything feel right again,
but how can they? I've always longed for things I can't have, people that don't return.
I have never felt the sublimity of anyone's presence like I did with yours, nevertheless, I pushed you away.
I always do this, when I finally find something good worth keeping, the fear of losing it makes me subconsciously push it away.
I let everything get the best of me, not realizing what I'm worth, I never keep what I deserve.
I am brimming with secrecy inside of me, your presence still lingers within me.
The truth was never meant to be seen, only touched and left for eternity to disintegrate.
Even if we were destined to be, I think it's only imaginary.

poison is what you are,
but i guess, somewhere
in my imperfections, i too,
prefer poison more than the antidote.

There’s beauty after all.

A light in this cruel
poisoning
meaningless life.

A sad angel’s
musical antidote
against insanity.

You are my ginseng

another ingredient in my antidote:
this conjuring of awakenings and borrowed wisdom that I brew at night

In the cauldron I keep under the bed
next to the mug with your name

No one knows about it
except for you, me and whatever spirits may inhabit the room,

you loom
over me when … naught but a shadow befriends me

You see these sorrows of mine have me speaking in past tongues
back to times so historic, I need to be at the present with you at a time so euphoric

If only you could feel in a moment
what you make me feel daily
could your body even contain the glee?

You’d need 2 or 3 clones


AS I’ve said, you are my ginseng

a treatment prescribed to me by Karma herself
because the beatings and betrayals I’ve endured
ensured that my reward would be a love that made every nanosecond worth it

And I will make sure to take a dose

every

day

you

let

me.