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ghalya Apr 4
Took you weeks to turn my cold heart warm with your smile from the moment we met,
Was hesitant to open up to you but you promised me you’d never leave but now I sit here in regret,
As you turned your back at me when things started to become hard,
My heart is so heavy looking back at our memories it left me scarred,
I was warned that love always ends with heartbreak one way or the other,
I thought we were different I thought we cared for each other,
I showed you all my weaknesses and my soft spots,
You used it against me you chewed me up and spat me out to rot,
If only I knew then what I know now,
I would turn the other way and I would have stayed cold no doubt,
Although my heart says,
Maybe this is what love is,
A form of torture used to make you happy then leaves you ending with tears,
I saw a future with you filled with love and happiness,
then you started complaining about me and my chattiness,
everything you once loved about me you grew to hate,
Is this a hate competition am I too late?
I don’t know what hurts the most the fact that you’ve left ages ago
or the fact that I still care-
Now my heart is torn into pieces and I don’t have the energy to repair.
I opened up to you
You went from love to hate in 2 years, I will never get over it.
ghalya Mar 22
I did not want this to end, i fought with every part of me for you to stay
But the storms were too bad and you were always so grey
Your smile always lit up the room and never failed to put a smile on my face
Now that you are not here i look back at our memories and wondered what would’ve happened if you had just stayed
I wish i would have been enough for you to have cared
I wish i was your dream girl, now you are gone i feel so scared
Once upon a time i was the one you’d call when you were drunk, when you were down and needed to talk
I would **** to see you and go on one of our walks (like we used to)
My heart is a wreck and missing you is one of the hardest thing i have ever went through
I never knew that i would ever lose you so soon
We used to stop and look at the stars together every noon (you even bought and named a star after me)
If i knew that night would’ve been the last night with you, i would have held on tighter
I know without me your heart feels much lighter
Thats the thing about love, it hurts
Even though you have moved on,
I still cry when i find your t-shirts.
I wish i could go back in time- to when you loved me.
ghalya Jan 15
I wish I could tell you everything I have went through, then maybe you will understand why I am the way I am. I feel too much and nothing at all, when I first saw you, you made me feel so safe and secure- a feeling so foreign to me.

It took me 20 years to learn how to love, you made it so easy for me. It suddenly hit me that, I have gone through so much and it is so hard to comprehend my thoughts and emotions. But one thing that I have always been so sure of is how to love you, and what I feel for you.

It has been 21 months, 95 weeks, 668 days to know one thing that I am for certain, loving you has been, and will always be a pleasure. All the laughs and all the kisses have saved my life.

When I'm hurt, I shatter and fall apart.
I have to continually put myself back together 
I am more vulnerable than I would like to appear
I wear my emotions on my sleeves.
My imperfections have the power to consume me-I am not afraid to give you the world, but I dread the feeling of feeling unwanted. 
I want you to see what I see, someone who is scared of getting hurt again.
something I have always wanted to tell you
Trying to make sense of my feelings.
ghalya Aug 2020
I Knew I loved you when I was packing to move a thousand miles away and you kissed me and reassured me you won’t give up on us
I knew I loved you when I forced myself to watch a ****** movie with you just to be in your presence
I knew I loved you whenever you held me down and tickled me till I was laughing with tears
I knew I loved you when I told you about my past and instead of leaving, you held me close and told me it’s going to be okay
I knew I loved you when I showed you my bad side and you didn’t judge me, you stayed and never gave up
I knew I loved you when I started to speak your made up vocabulary
I knew I loved you when even mid argument I’d look at you and hope I never get to lose you
I knew I loved you when you told me about your past relationships and I realised how strong you are to not give up on love
I knew I loved you when we played that card game the first day you came over
I knew I loved you when we ate dinner and sat on the balcony every night looking at the sky and having never ending deep chats
I knew I loved you the second I opened that door and saw you
I knew I loved you all along.
I love you always and forever
ghalya Jun 2020
I hope you realize how lucky you are to have found her, and for her to love you back. You should cherish and appreciate her. Never ever underestimate her potential, motivate her to be the best version of herself. A heads up, she might get drunk for the first time and will abuse you and talk **** to you, just know that comes from a place of hurt from her previous relationships, she does not mean it. She will get drunk for the second time and trust me, she will show you how much she loves you. She requires attention, sometimes she will doubt the love you have for her, make sure you let her know how much she means to you, and don't ever make her feel like she's too much because all she wants is reassurance. When you make her breakfast in the morning, make sure you toast the bread well enough, don't be impatient and make sure you keep it in the toaster for at least 2 minutes on both sides. Her favorite food is Chinese food but sometimes she leans more towards Japenese food. She loves gyozas and Curry ramen. Make sure you wake up early enough because she's an early bird and will wake up at 7 am, sometimes 6. She doesn't know why she watches movies but she will, watch movies with her. You'll find yourself criticizing the movie together, cuddle her and keep her close, never let her go. She will steal your hoodies and jackets, make sure she keeps them because when she gives it back, it will smell like her and that's one of the best feelings ever. She hates it when she says something and you take a while to respond, make sure you let her know you heard and understood her, give her your undivided attention whenever you can because she deserves it. She loves pop music, such a tragedy, but once she listens to another genre because of you; just know she loves you. She loves cider, and she loves prosecco with orange juice in the mornings. She has the prettiest curly hair ever but she straightens it all the time, make sure you let her know she's beautiful both ways and always appreciate her natural beauty. She is wild, she loves nights out and will do the most stupidest things ever. Always make sure she is safe, she can take care of herself but you need to check in on her and be there for her when she needs you. Her favorite thing is Jaffa cakes, as disgusting as it is, she will eat it all in one sitting. Make sure you always restock on them.
Most importantly, never let her go because she is so special and you will never ever find anyone like her. She will go to extreme lengths to make you happy and you should do the same. I will always love her, and she will always be my person. Make her happy.
ghalya May 2019
It's 4 me, 2 let u know
I am so glad that I have u
through all these years
I am so thankful.
now that ive grown
I'll always be
thinkin' of you
w/all the things, you taught
me so, always remember.
I'll be alright, I'll be okay
I will be good ('free'), Learning all the way
all from the heart these things I do
I'll make u proud, bcoz I <3 u
this note is the only thing that keeps me going through rough times.
I am glad you are somewhere, out there happy. Your happiness is my happiness.
ghalya Mar 2019
i have been wanting to live a life that’s not supposed to be mine,
i have been wandering aimlessly trying to find myself,
i have been vigorously convincing myself that i am where i need to be,
maybe one day, i will feel like i belong somewhere,
but that day is not today.
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