When I was a girl
I thought I could be anything I wanted
I didn’t realize I would grow up
To be a woman
That I was forever ‘and her’
Instead of them
That my father loved me
As an exception
And I would have to witness my sisters
Wither away in happiness
I found out that I was not the ‘public’
In public transportation
That I needed to switch my grocery run times
Every now and then
Discovered the places where a hat
Could be the best weapon
On Sundays, I dress up and buy pretty roses for my table
To keep from remembering that
If someone wanted
There was nothing I could do to stop them

Overlooked, overworked, underpaid, with no gratitude. You yearn her presence but gripe about mine. "It's too hot, too bright." I'm never 'just right.' Without me, you couldn't survive, couldn't thrive in this life you call yours.

See how well she treats you. Her glow dissipates with my darkness. Envy runs through me. You don't deserve to see.

Nothing runs without me.

The high seeps into my bones
trickling slowly, inward, and deeply
as if my body has turned to liquid
I float

i float past the anger i felt during work today
the desperation to be anywhere but there
i pass the happiness i felt in my car with a smoothie bowl
jamming to my music feeling optimistic for once
then i see it,
the despair, the guilt, the ugly
the moments growl at me
they are so wrapped in their own misery to never see the light
they deserve to stay here

the place i can float away from
where they only haunt me when I'm trying to escape from solitude

From a distance, I watch the space between two friends grow small,
A quiet closeness forming, a step—a drift—I’ve seen it all.
Their laughter fills the hours from morning’s start to evening’s fall,
And somehow, I feel more distant now than I ever did before.

He’s just a friend, she says, with the ease of practiced lines,
But there’s a weight in his gaze, a purpose behind his time.
Perhaps it’s nothing, or maybe it's the way these things unwind,
One steady step into spaces I once thought were mine.

I asked her, lightly, to guard the borders of their ties,
A simple caution shared, a soft concern disguised.
But my words fell like whispers, dismissed into the skies,
Leaving me with an ache, unseen, unspoken, denied.

So here I am, a spectator to the subtle, shifting ways,
Caught between letting go and the memory of better days.
If this is what it means to care, in all the ways love decays,
Then I’ll stand in silence, holding the ghost of us in place.

(A 'thought piece' I wrote in high school)

Ok, I'm not paid to think (like the TV shouting heads), I have no real voice (vote), and certainly no credentials - but I'm as invested in America as any high-school citizen can be. I've pledged allegiance 3000 times (hhmm.. do they doubt our loyalty?) and when it comes to loving America, I'd have to say my classmates and I are at the center of the spell.

I'm afraid we're growing up in the age of hate.. the age of phony outrage where each position large or small is high noon and violence is underfoot even when policing ordinary citizens.

We won't address the multitude of old problems in this new age.. we'll just unleash a marquetry of half truths to dispute the proven until unreasoned arguments reach their paranoid fullness.

The real world is alarming enough - lets just push that away and ignore it - while we're at it lets **** shame the poor, the old, the sick, the unemployed, the hungry and the hand of mercy.

I realize America was never one moral atom bonded for better.. but those anvils that forged us appear neglected or forsaken. I'm afraid what's happening now, what we're seeing and hearing now, is a symphony of erosion - that by the time I have any say at all, the middle class will be gone - america turned slum - where even the voice of despair will be turned traitor.

We'll only be able to see our greatness in museum souvenir shops where nothing is affordable and everything is made elsewhere.

To he honest I'm pretty ******* tired of being on my own
Im not really
But still my lack of love makes me angry
Yet I'm Y
               oU
                    N
                        g
That's what everyone else says anyway
Still I'm crazy and no longer problematic
Happy but never enough to prevent sadness
Out to most but still hiding from the majority
Avoiding the conflict I once used to untimely cause and angry at my protagonistic temperament
Raising it's head once in a foreign land
But it didn't last long because previous pain is still there
The oppositions have since dropped from the ceiling to an unknown cause but my webs are still in position camping out in the corner
a silk prospector expressing only malevolent intent
Never really meaning and now that im controlling the pain it's hard to admit, but there's part of me that still reigns in the areas of that room
Skulking through the tears usually my own labelled jester for those on that egotistical throne
So maybe my confidence flickering and unnerving, split between the characters I get to play between the seasons is one of the significant catalysts and thousands of reasons that I'm now on my own
everyone an opposition on my radar
the choice,
to be a villain for the people of my past or be trampled over by those in my present, an insight into my future.
That's if I make it because my obvious disdain is a recognizable trait like my unbearing love and attraction for Unrequited beauty and my I'll advised impulse to avoid the problem
                     make a list of all my excuses
           And Run to the next person most likely to become my biggest predator when I unfurl infront my secrets and ambitions secret Acts of betrayal while on independent side missions
    Diagnosed as ****** and unmedicated
              Mad when alone
    Discontent with my social standing
  And just wanting someone special to.                         bring home

If in the basket of deplorables must I be,
To quote a term most used by sweetest Hilary,
Then let me state this best I can,
I'm voting for our country, not the man.

A country where race and gender aren't the bait,
But where everyone is open to debate,
United by a sense of common pride
Holding back divisions’ surging tide.

Where knowledge of our strength is used for good,
And our intent for peace is not misunderstood;
Making clear to tyrants our firm resolve,
So that by dialogue not war may they
squabbles solve.

A nation where our people are first in line
And not succumb to disadvantages or imported crime,
From open borders with illegals pouring through,
With misguided politicians caring more for them than you.

Where doctrine is replaced by common sense,
From the fringes seeking dominance hell-bent.
Boys competing fully in girls sport,
No reasoned thought for when children to abort.

Politicians’ vanity projects not worth
Squandering our money with intent and
unrequited mirth;
While millions live in poverty and need,
Ignored by legislators craving fame and intellectual greed.

I want our leaders to respect our flag,
And not applaud when to the ground protestors stomp and drag;
And for why, but to score a series of cheap shots,
Empowering radicals to ferment those never ending plots.

So yes, my vote goes to just my country,
And if a name must I choose, I say this humbly,
My selection won't be for one that's woke,
Or that will seek to send our country broke.

Politicians convince themselves they're special,
They are in fact a wallowing empty vessel,
Using their guile and mimic to impress,
When truth be told, they almost invariably depress.