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Samantha Cantu Mar 2021
Did you see that girl who was skinny as can be
Showing us all that she had a sickness she couldn’t see
Chasing death on the trails
She runs to stop feeling full
Wish she could see that she is sick as can be
As everyone else can see

Wishing that she could see if she was skinny as can be
So she avoids the food in fear that they will see the fat
that she can see
but she is skinny as can be
and sick but she cant see

Hungry to the point that all she can see
Is that this could make her skinny as can be
only dreading the next meal that she "doesn't" need
so sick that see can't see
that she really is skinny as can be

" oh I'm not hungry you see"
her favorite words to say when others can see
that she is skinny as can be
Her so called friend Ana who doesn't want her to see
that she is sick and will never see

So she'll keep counting the calories and hoping they don't see
The fat that her and Ana can see
She'll keep running those trails
But death has nearly got her by the heels
Because she is sick and can't see
Jaicob Feb 2021

I've known you for a while,
And at first I was afraid.
I didn't know what you'd do
Or whether you could help me.

Now I don't see why
Everyone I know is so
Pressed about me
Being friends with you...

I don't know why
they don't like you.
They try to keep me away
From you and your help.

You're a kind person,
And you've helped me.
You make me happy.
You fix my problems.

I hope you can explain
Why people don't like you.
Lydeen Nov 2020
Counting... Always... Counting.

A cup of herbal tea, maybe with some sugar.
If I feel up to it.

Maybe some soup, grilled cheese.
If I can stomach it.

Dinner. Whatever mom makes.
My only supervised meal.

Tired, all day... Every day.
Drowning in college papers.

The curves I worked so hard to get back...
Well. They're nearly gone.

Protruding hip bones,
Protruding collar bones,
Boney fingers,
Pale skin,
Fantastic figure and pretty ribs,
Cold toes and bad circulation.

Heart murmurs... Shaky breathing... Migraines... Exhaustion... Confusion... Lethargy... Weight loss

Shaking, Shaking, Shaking...

Gotta go make a cuppa, warm up a bit.

But... what's left for me to be healthy for, anyway?

I'll take a bath to warm up instead

Being home all the time isn't doing me well... If I die, blame Miss Rona for her ****** attitude.
Ryley Wren Oct 2020
It is a word
That means
and total
and joy
It explains
a feeling
of immense pleasure
this feeling
I know
when I touch
my bones
and hard
beneath my skin
it's not as if
I reach through
and find them
between the sinew
and skin
No, they rise
to meet me
as every day
I eat a little less
and each day
the bones
so pale and white
they show
just a little bit more
My collarbones
start to press
against my skin
as if pressing
through paper
my ribs
against my skin
so delicate
or at least,
they will become so
my hips
will jut out
just a bit more
and my stomach
better than flat
it is concave
it only becomes so
when i lay down
but perhaps
if I run
an extra mile
then tomorrow,
I will see them
each day
I go to work
religiously counting
calories, bites, chews
cups, pounds, ounces
I carefully measure
each aspect
of who I am
because I am not
who I want to be
but I will be
If I control
what I do
then I can control
Who I am
And if you can see
the sunset
between my thighs
and the mug
between my fingers
on a cold morning
sipping coffee
black and bitter
I will be good enough
for just a moment
a breath
a fleeting second
in my eternity
I will be okay
because I am enough
Myrrdin Sep 2020
My bones are too hollow
To hold my worth
My body is a chapel
I am begging to crumble
I hold holy water
In my collar bones
As I kneel before a mirror
I am praying to be emptier
Heaven tastes like ice water
I want to meet my maker
In a gown that doesn't fit me
The scale is an altar
I sacrifice my body to
Lord knows I know how to fast,
Am I holier when I'm hungry?
Ronin Jul 2020
You tell me
I’m not that skinny
My BMI tells me
I’m way too skinny
You tell me
My waist isn’t that small
The internet tells me
My waist is small enough for modeling
You tell me
Everyone has size 2
Research tells me
The average size is size 12
You tell me
I’m not enough
Yet too much

I tell myself
I’m not enough
Yet too much.
Cassy Jun 2020
I know that sometimes you feel a loss when you remember the salience of your bones when your skin was as thin as paper and you even struggled to drop on a chair.
And I know that from time to time you suffer from the absence of those days when you could look at a filled plate without touching it and call this effort a meal.
And I know you often think about those afternoons when you looked so dead that you held the secret hope that someone would come to resurrect you.

But the truth is, you seem to have forgotten the days when the bruises on your skin scared you and the days when you wiped your ****** mouth wondering if you were really becoming more beautiful. Those days when you were so cold that you couldn't touch anyone without startling them and those days when you couldn't stand up without seeing a multitude of spirals swallowing the world before your eyes.

The truth is, you forget that no one came to save you.

And I realize that sometimes it's still hard and that you’re still fighting, but I can not help but notice that bright glow back in your eyes and how your gestures are firm and your cheeks colored by life. And even if you break so often that you wonder why you should bother to keep rebuilding yourself , let me tell you that putting the pieces together is much more beautiful than the mere thought of you drowning yourself in a flood of alienating negativity once again.
Ana Jun 2020
Reused and recycled,
I gave my heart to you.

Scratched and scarred,
Oh, if you only knew,

Stumbling in the dark,
Without a clue.

Cold and empty,
So frozen it's blue.

It doesn’t belong anymore,
So I gave it to you.

Reused and recycled,
Maybe you can make it something new.

-It doesn't belong in me anymore. Can you fix it?
Lydeen May 2020
I can wake up in the morning
And be okay.

And not just... Okay....

OCD is still an

The self loathing
Is still here,

But I'm really okay.
I work a 9-6 job,
Sleep regular

Talk to boys,
Argue and talk back,
Get tired

My problems aren't gone.
They're still
Very much present

I'm dealing with them,
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