What if there was an alternate universe
where I would have known that
mistake would have been made
and avoided it?

What if there was an alternate universe
where I just didn't care at all
and that everything I am now
just never happened?

What if there was an alternate universe
where at every point in time
I was positioned
slightly to the left?

If you only knew that it was partly your fault that I felt this way
Because I don't know where I stand with you and it's making me insane

I am screaming
Trying to get you to notice
But you never seem to hear my cries
What exactly are your motives?
What's behind those little lies?

Maybe you are just like me
made from a fragile glass
Scared to let anybody in
Scared you'll be broken into pieces
But trust me I won't ever let this happen
and if it does happen I will put you together
Always

We were all loved so imperfectly,
it's hard not to hate those that weren't.
The ones who don't flinch when they think about the past, but laugh.
And I've been trying to repaint the pictures hanging in those frames, soft from memory
Trying to find new shades and
Trying to admire the ways
That they are unique. They are mine. They're worth keeping.

I've considered suicide. She's attempted it four times. That could be our battle cry - "we never asked to be alive"
But now we're here
And what do we do?
In a place where there's no pity for ****-ups or pale scars on wrists or empty bowls burning from final embers, their lungs inhaling it so beautifully.

I never smoked it, but I'm in love with the silver dragons that swirl in the air all around it. I could watch it pour from their lips for hours, could soak in the sweet stench for days, could count away everything else until I count down to nothing.
Nothing. But here.

No more worries or chores or judgments or wondering what people think of me or caring too much or trying too hard and failing, failing.
He tells me that he's changed. Of course I still love him.
But it will never be the same.

Truth Will Out

If you’ve got a thing to say
A real thing, the words will play
Through synapses old/new,
The new unused, creating unconditionally unsaid
Phrases you alone invent unaided.

If you’ve something pregnant there
Inside the cerebellum,
You’ll be inclined to share
And tell ‘em.
Truth will out
Not shouted, but with clout
Deliberately aimed or not.

Then we come to something there
Called instinct’s intuition
To transport you far and near - everywhere
You need to go
To every place you need to know.

You must, gosh **** it, trust it!

Because all truths
Are there in places ‘neath the scalp
Beneath your hair, sculpted by the roots of roots,
By nerves that serve you night and day
Which tell you things that may,
Have what we call, the truth.
(Not every thought’s idea is true
Though it’s all you.)
A tricky thing this ‘God hath wrought’
Just always call to mind this thought:
Truth will always, in the end, want out.

Truth Will Out 2.20.2018 Circling Round Reality, Nature Of & In Reality; Revelations Big & Small; Arlene Corwin

Pumarito sa aking tabi kung saan ang mga salita ay hindi laging kakailanganin,
Batid ang 'yong mga hinaing at hinagpis ngunit hindi na kailangang sabihin.

Dito na lang kung saan sasapat ang pagdausdos ng ating mga palad, higit na ang pagsulyap sa mga mata **** iba ang tinatangan,
Dito kung saan hindi kailangang magpaliwanag -- kahit hindi naiintindihan ay mamahalin ka sa paraang nararapat bagama't lingid sa'yo.

Pumarito na lamang kung saan ang bawat paghinga'y tulang ikinukubli ang hapdi, kirot, at sakit,
Mga agam-agam at handusay ng lumbay.

Sino nagsabing hindi ka maaaring ibigin mula sa kalayuan? Kalokohan.

At kung sa wakas ay matunton mo ang daan patungo rito,
Sana'y manatili ka.

Manatili tulad ng pananatili ko sa walang kasiguraduhan,
Manatili na parang aking mga mata sa tuwing nakatitig sa'yo na tulala sa kawalan, sa kanya,
Manatili ka sana,
Manatili kahit panandalian.

Kung sasapit ang unos at nanaisin **** lumisan, ang dagliang pagbitiw ay hindi maipapangako ngunit hindi kita pipigilan,
Sapat sa akin ang pinagtagpi-tagping kapos at maikling panahon, ang mga nakaw na sandali ng kahapon, ang pakikipaglaro sa tadhana na kunwari, ikaw na talaga.

Sapat sa akin ang pumarito,
Sa pagdausdos ng mga palad mo sa mga palad ko,
Kung saan ang mga salita ay hindi na kakailanganin,
Dito sa walang akin.