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Francie Lynch Jan 2018
In the womb he was connected
With a thousand years of family
Coursing through the tether
Of an unfortunate mother.
Then culled from the herd
In a distant cow town
For permanent loan.
With the pretext, the equivocation:

                 He'll have a better life.

When someone other deems to tell him,
He'll cry, he'll hide,
Reject, accept,
It's his need for human affection.

He can't forget what didn't happen,
A past that wasn't shared;
Of stories reaching back through years.
The anecdotes on celebrations,
The exaltations, deprivations,
Tales shared like bread
By lost generations.

All his life he's felt the itch
To scratch his DNA.

One day, the knock is heard,
Bells may ring,
There, standing straight on the stoop,
A refracted image of oneself,
Trans-parent cord through missing years.

Aye, there will be tears.

          (You'll explain your teenage fears,
           Your family's lack of understanding;
           The time when wanton women
           Had babies out of wedlock)

He listens to the reasons,
Stirred in the heaping crock.

He learned of love,
Was schooled with affection,
He knows he wasn't known to you,
That he was left
For personal sake.

He crosses fingers,
Like plated scissors,
To snip the cord he's hung on;
To sever the love,
You never delivered,
To a son
You never knew.
Neuvalence Dec 2017
Although I may never get to meet
the woman who carried my soul
through the cosmos inside her body
from a winter's frost to a spring's warmth

I'll be grateful for the one who
spent her blood, sweat and tears
holding me in her arms, guiding me
through a journey called life

Without a doubt, I'll stitch them both
into my heart's core as they were
generous in taking time to sculpt me
into the person I am
Gracie Anne Nov 2017
Hours of labor, and minutes of rest
Only to be taken away from the breast.
Months of pain, hardship, and fear,
But, in the end my decision is clear.

I am not ready to bear a child on my own
My partner has left me; I am all alone.
My baby will do well in the hands of another,
Anyone but me could be a better mother.

So I hand off my child into the arms of a nurse,
Knowing for the rest of my life I'll be cursed.
She cradles her gently, and holds her with care,
While I lay there and wallow in self-hate and despair.

She brings back my daughter all squeaky and clean
Her new parents follow with eyes all agleam.
They name her Grace, meaning "gift from God,"
I smile and laugh, feeling like a fraud.

I hand her over, my baby no more,
As she leaves my hands, I feel a jolt in my core.
I'll never see her again, but I know this is right,
They're taking my darkness to turn it to their light.

I drive away from the hospital, with a wave and a smile
Knowing I'm leaving behind my child
...
This is a work in progress. I'm writing this, posing as my birth mother who gave me up for adoption 17 years ago. Any help would be greatly appreciated. :)
showyoulove Oct 2017
From life's first cry to final breath
In my living daily until my hour of death
You chose me and formed me with love and affection
Wonderfully and marvelously made with no exception
From my head to my hands to my little happy feet
I am the only one of me. I am perfectly unique.
You gave me eyes to seek and a heart to hear
You gave me a burning love to drive out fear
You gave me parents to love me and to teach
They taught me to pray and challenged me to reach
They raised and cared for me the best that they knew how
How lucky I am I'm starting to realize now
You gave me a home to laugh, play, and learn
How love and affection I never had to earn
There were times I was lost and couldn't see the light
I'd cry myself to sleep sometimes but I never left your sight
You were always there for me if I only looked around
I could run and I could hide, but I was always found
You gave me hope and a future; you gave me a chance
To live, to make this world better, maybe find romance
To share my love with another: the biggest thing from one so small
You gave me the gift of Life. The greatest gift of all!
Tay Jul 2017
Some are born to their natural mothers
But oh not me
Some are adopted that is me
But the hardest thing is
When your birthmother gets married
And is ready to have a child
Thus want more to say when she has a child is force a smile
And say congrats what do you say
You keep that child but yet not me
You were young and foolish and
You went
Too far
But now suddenly reality turns harsh and the whole thing goes too far
That's the thing they will be my half sibling
Which is
Quite hard for
Whenever I visit them or see them after they are born
I will be reminded
That they were lucky keeping their mom
While my half sibling is smiling I will be crying
For in Grief And realization hits me
Now she's ready to have a child
She actually keeps
Every time I will see that new baby
It is like a knife embedded in me
Unlike me
Who was adopted
Treasure It
Sometimes I am proud of being adopted sometimes I want to curl up in a ball and cry
Tay Jul 2017
Do you hate me for life?
Do you hate me because I am yours
Or because you don't even know I am your daughter
You hate me because I reflect you
But that's ok No its not actually
That just me telling myself It's okay
When I breakdown in the shower
Is that define okay?
Me wondering about you
Spending a day just wondering
Is that define okay?
I'm not as perfect as I appear
That's just my armor
It's what I built to protect myself
From people's words and love and hate
Is that define okay?
For me It is
My appearance is diverting you from me
My appearance isn't even really me
It's who I made
To appear okay
I guess I am not okay?
Are you okay?
Creative writing
Melissa Adkins Jul 2017
Erase Me
Falling. Lost. Falling fast into a dream thats dark as night. A nightmare that steal my soul. If I even have one left worth being stole... So take it. Just take it. Take all of me. Enclose me. Encase me. Place me on display. Destroy me. Let everyone see me. Lie to me. Just make a victim of me very lastly... or was I a victim of me already? Inhale me. Breathe into me. You tease me. Is this your secret to death maybe? Of bone? Of flesh? Of the emptiness that now lie within me? The life i had you took from me. You killed me. Your ******* killing me!
Take it! Take it all! I will want for nothing. I will never again need a thing. From here on I want for not one thing. So Enclose me. Encase me. **** me slowly.
Your wants and your needs were subdued so swiftly, the very moment you entered me. And I hate you. I spit on you. I hope you burn in hell thief! Burn eternal in return for my soul you stole!
My stomach now swoll and any day now will be empty once again. A shell of what it used to be.
So Enclose me! Encase me! Erase that part of me! Erase the empty hole , the very part of me that will never again feel whole. Erase me... because what do I have left to me? Surely no pride, no dignity.... and mourning the loss of an innocent child born unto me just furthers my misery.
Yes just turn the knife a bit further. Please deepen these wounds that scar me eternally ' internally. And then abandon me. Just leave me alone. To stand alone along the jagged rocks amidst the murkey black waters of my own mind.
What little of you, you made mine. And what was mine, you took for you. We are now one in the same? No. NO!! *******! I spit on you! Because i can no longer see the difference between me and you, all I see is you. You, the no-face who maimed me with a violence that I simply can not erase. You who left me crumpled there. Left me with a hole now that I can never fill. Not with any prescription pill.
Just take it! ******* take it all, let me fall. Becsuse i can not keep pace with the direction you've chosen my life take. This is all because of you! You no name, no face, no heart bearing *******... I spit in your face!
And though my physical pain will cease, and my wounds will one day close, inevitably to be forgotten by eveybody but me....I will forever remember. Like shiney new, yesterdays pain will be renewed. Alot like the pain I now know rather intimately. The very same pain that now follow me endlessly. Constantly taunting, reminding, haunting me tirelessly of the girl I used to be. The girl i was once before you yanked my innocence and tore it from me. Washed it clean from me... washed up on shores of morbid curiousity. Because that is about all I've left of me. All the questions that circled around me making me feel a devastating despair and a hopelessness throughout my entirety. I am simply treading water here. Taking up space. I'm just another victim without a case. Insomnia settled in and seems to be moving into this vaccant space you placed and it drives me further insane.
You very well may be the death of me. Nothing but my ashes to settling along the bottom of a vase.
As you Enclose me. Yes encase me in a vase and just Erase me. Place my weary body 6 feet beneath thee so that peace may once again find me. So that you can no longer hurt me.
Free me... of this constant countdown of the hours I may have left to me. Days marked only by the number of breaths I take. And each and every solitary tear that streak down my cheek.
Take it. Take it all from me! And then be gone from me! Have you not taken enough of me? Have you not taken all you possibly could from me already? You can have anything... if only I could go back. Rethink, rechoose, using less of the hurt i felt and more of the fact..... I want my baby back.
Emily May 2017
I sometimes feel I don't fit
I feel so wrong, so far away
I seem to clash with their outfit
A rainbow with a dot of gray

Other times they are a part of me
I am one of their own, a member of their pack
They become the best people I ever did see
I'm the missing puzzle piece that they lack

But mostly I just condemn myself
with uncertain thoughts of if they even like me
I become a timid shell of my true self
trying to become all I think they want me to be

My family is all so very white
I'm that one and only Asian
Isn't white said to be right
I'm Chinese, but I want to be caucasian
I know some of these thoughts are wrong, but they are some of the thoughts I do get and put to paper.
Day Apr 2017
I once had a mother, who gave me away
Though time gone, never forgot her name
Years pass, thoughts of her the same
As a child, a game I would play
Maybe this time she'll come back and stay
Eventually, my heart took the blame
"Whose fault" now is the game
As I look back from then to this day
Who hurt me the most, that I could not recover?
What set off this bomb in my heart?
Why couldn't I land on my feet?
She gave up her role as my mother...
Tearing my soul apart
Wondering if I'm worth it to keep.
Playing with new concepts and rhyme scheme
Timothy Brown Feb 2017
Names are funny.

Have you ever wondered what your name would be if your parents didn't name you?

I'm one of the lucky few
that know.

If my parents didn't name me,
my name would be
Timothy.

You see, apparently,
when two people love each other,
Mommy cheats on Donny
with daddy and all three
demonize the baby.

Unfortunately,
abortion isn't an option.
Poor Donny believes
his little Johnson
made a tiny Willie
but really
it's Mike's Rick.
The trick wasn't revealed
until
Donny signed the birth certificate.

Obviously, Karen's husband abandoned their family.
Mike ripped his love from her and gave it to Dominique.

Karen,
twice-scorned,
mid-divorce,
postpartum,
decides a shelter isn't suitable for a nameless infant.

At this point, it's a little too late for abortion.
Nowhere to go,
knowing she can't stay,
Adoption became the practical option.


The noxious auction caused a nauseous reaction to her conscious. Karen picked the option, least pompus, with the most promise. An intuitively honest Christian was brought to her room so she could sign the synopsis.


As she's reviewing the terms of this blood oath, she glances at both of the parents cradling her second baby boy. They turn and ask


"What is his name?"

"I don't know. I thought he was going to be a she so I had the name Sade."


"That's ok, we have a perfect name in mind. Timothy."
She never signed the adoption papers but she kept the name.
©February 26, 2017 by Timothy Brown.
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