Hours of labor, and minutes of rest
Only to be taken away from the breast.
Months of pain, hardship, and fear,
But, in the end my decision is clear.
I am not ready to bear a child on my own
My partner has left me; I am all alone.
My baby will do well in the hands of another,
Anyone but me could be a better mother.
So I hand off my child into the arms of a nurse,
Knowing for the rest of my life I'll be cursed.
She cradles her gently, and holds her with care,
While I lay there and wallow in self-hate and despair.
She brings back my daughter all squeaky and clean
Her new parents follow with eyes all agleam.
They name her Grace, meaning "gift from God,"
I smile and laugh, feeling like a fraud.
I hand her over, my baby no more,
As she leaves my hands, I feel a jolt in my core.
I'll never see her again, but I know this is right,
They're taking my darkness to turn it to their light.
I drive away from the hospital, with a wave and a smile
Knowing I'm leaving behind my child
This is a work in progress. I'm writing this, posing as my birth mother who gave me up for adoption 17 years ago. Any help would be greatly appreciated. :)