I feel the bones
cracking in my toes
every thing aches
the joints are stiff and sore
hurts so much it's hard to ignore
I just want to curl up on the floor
just stop the cold from creeping in
I feel the icy chill on my skin
my bones ache
my skin is flushed
as the cold seeps in
nipping at my warmth
draining my energy
why did you have to set so soon
it to early for these low numbers
too early to freeze
but you're never ready
no matter how much you prepare
the cold will always bite
and slowly eat you away

please, look at me.
look at me in every way that love feels,
then peer into me as if you are meeting
a candle light to blow its heat.
     i promise i won't speak unless you need me to,
so look at me in every possible way
if it helps you see me better.

deep in your gaze,
mesh me in every memory that makes you cry
     for i am a home for dark things too.
your every spill cannot flood
the vast space of my nothingness.
     i have all the room in the world
     to take in every version of you.

She's an amazing woman,
If only she thought similiary
Of me.

Have you ever loved someone
That you just knew you could never end up together?
Have you ever loved someone,
Breathing the same breath brings you so much pain?
Have you loved someone
That the feelings, brings so much ache?
Have you ever loved someone that left you short of breath?
Have you?

I have this really amazing friend,
Her name is Radha.
She's great, she deserves the world ♡
She once witnessed me in pain
And she said to me,
"Fairy, get a pen and a book and just start writing.
Anything that bothers you.
Anything you wanna talk about but can't find words to say.
Anything you want out of you,
just write it..."

I admired her approach; it's really great!
'Cause I do write, and it does help...
It helps me to listen to myself clearly,
Without my brain jumbling up my thoughts,
And without my heart shaking in my chest.
But what if she knew,
About the things I write about...
About the things that I constantly think about,
About the things I dream about,
The things I ache about?
What if she knew,
**** even the things that I laugh about,
About the things I can't say out loud,
About the things I burden this site about..?
What if she knew?

-fir.m