I'm an anterograde amnesiac per se,
But I remember what you did say.

Your friends readied the kids,
In the boys hostel mess.
The day happier than ever,
I felt proud of myself.

Then I took your hand,
And guided you inside.
You were totally unprepared,
But we had trained the kids.

The canteen was filled with us,
The volunteers and the kids.
The onlookers joined the chorus,
In the Happy Birthday words.

Do you remember what the kids sang?
Why won't you, Satyaa, why won't you?
You might remember me, oh dear,
You were my old flame, and I was for you.

I said, "Here you go, dear,
This surprise we prepared,
Just for you, oh, just for you."
And your eyes teemed with tears.

You looked at me in gratitude,
But I was truthful as I told you,
"Your girl friends surprised you,
I just brought the cake, dear."

"Sakshi suggested this surprise,
Your girl friends prepared the kids,
Enjoy your birthday, Satyaa, enjoy it,"
You were speechless, completely in love.

.

jump     -     start
heart-wired  flash-fired
fore and aft      i'm wit-lashed
ride   a  scutting  state   (oh-my-hate)
glare   at the creature  (will  it  look  away ?)
i'm    jolty      a    s l e e p y  menace
death        in  the  drivers   seat
slur down  drowsing
jump     -    start

.

She told me I could never walk to the ocean
But I told her that I can
And as I started to walk to the sea
I accidentally stepped on a clam

It stung a bit, but I was alright
And I looked back and saw
That she was disappointedly saying to me
"I knew you couldn't do it at all"

~
Shoreline sorrow
In the light of grey
Deep water, snowy day
As you tuck your children
Safely in bed, remember
Lake Chelan has a reputation of
Never yielding its dead
~

Lips sealed, forced quite
One rivet, two rivet
There we go, three otta do it
Last step here is to blow both eardrums with a dangerous harmonic
Ah, there we go, perfect
But I forget
This negativity comes from a resident
One living rent free from infancy in my attic
And amidst my constant panic
I barricaded the wrong side of the door by accident
Now help can't get in to stop the punishment
AND
I'm trapped inside my head with a lunatic
Obviously this is problematic
Hear no evil, see no evil but the mind is never silent
A silver tongue tyrant, my downfalls conduit
I know it knows I'm on to it
But a relic like toxic thoughts doesn't give a shiit
I've proven I can't go toe to toe with it
My wins are really just me escaping THE moment
It can return to being a problem at ANY moment
It never fights fair, super over dramatic
Big signs posted, "Bipolar, Beware", looking post apocalyptic
Wait, how many are against me in here? I thought "me Vs the world" was more just symbolic
Ritualistic hunter and the hunted, predator and prey, animalistic
Unapologetic
No one ever sees the bouts, to barbaric to air it
Try to grin and bare it but it's apparent
I can no longer dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge the bombastic rhetoric
And I've literally just locked myself in with the traumatic and away from the public
I don't feel safe in here with myself and don't know what to do about it...

©2024