your love is toxic

my lungs collapsing

beneath the weight of such ugly feelings

so much like a rock

abrasive and heavy

are the words that spill from your mouth

like a faucet of filth

the pressure building

bright red blossoms

like a blow to the face

I don't know what to do with myself
I'm a sandpaper sphincter
Yeah, I come across too strong

I'm looking for someone to help me
Because I can do nothing on my own
There's an endless flailing going on...
Like trying to grasp hold of something

Is there anything that's real?

Is there anything real?

Is anything real if you aren't looking at it?

"You know, out of all the friends I've known you've really been the greatest to me so far. You listen, you care, and I feel really comfortable around you. I can honestly say I love you, but with the situation it won't work out."

Why can't I be real on my own?
Perception is all of life;
My perception, Jaded and Alone

A vast valley of empty noise.
Muffled screams ambient like static.
Dodging cunning plans and ploys.
As each friend intends to wreak havoc.
I set aflame in rage and shame.
Smoke signals soar high from my side.
As I try to decide what is wise.
Incontinence of the lips disguised as clever banter.
Hollow thoughts reveal themselves and foggy eyes gleam far and wide.
I'll have a drink of endless size.
"I'd rather be anywhere, or anything" I say whilst reaching for a decanter.

I wish I could say that I want to keep trying,
But I've honestly had enough.
I've said to myself many times before
If I can't take it anymore,
It can't be that hard to let go.

Shouldn't it be that way?

Well it's not.

You, my friend, have abrasive hands
And they are all over me.
I don't understand how you could be so blind.
I've pushed you away so many times,
I'm surprised your not cemented face first into the pavement.

I can't stand your lectures.
You speak as if I need to grab
The pen off the table and document every word,
You believe your morals need to be the bible for the people we need to live by.
That would be a cold sick world.

Your hard headed look on life
darkens the light that wants to shine.
Pathetic really because you do it to yourself.

So this time, I'm going to push away
And I'm going to do it hard.

The difference from every other time,
You won't even see it coming.
Because you won't even know I've done it at all...
Until I'm gone.

Hi there, friend
This is my current guesstimate on your behaviour
You have probably forgotten me
and gone on a vacation with your reindeer.
No? That isn't the case?
Let's just say you follow the path of douchebagism.
While I laugh when you fail.

Such a wayward young man
claims to be Green Day's biggest fan.
Your ego needs to thaw
Idiot, I hope you know others too have flaws.
Remember none will have your back when you fall
Traitor.