please don't let me go,
I always tell you so;
my heart won't bear
yet another tear--
please don't leave me,
as I can only be
happy as a ray of light
dancing through the night
with you by my side
not fearing for cover to hide
and place my guards up high
afraid that love is a lie;
so stay, and please don't go,
for I may not know
how to smile again,
only knowing how to use a pen
to illustrate my tragedies
through poetic strategies

You say nothing as you watch me crumbling
Whispering a defiant 'i'm ok'
Tears streaming down my face
I'm not looking at you
You notice this
You say 'you're not'
I agree silently
I cannot find it within me to talk more
I am exhausted
I do not know how to explain how much i think about dying
I do not know how to seek help
But you know i am crumbling
You see
And you stare
Numbly blankly
Back at me
Hands in your pocket you do nothing
And i plead with you silently to help me
You notice this and you still stare
Numbly blankly
And then i collapse and i disappear
And you say 'what a shame. If only i had known'
And you walk away

I woke up on a ship upon the sea ,
Thinking I had finally found my sailor.
You had maps drawn with lines and X's marking spots of interest,
And I thought I was your favorite treasure.
Romanced me from land to sea, but turns out you are just another pirate looting girls hearts for pleasure.
Capsized, we've been hit, and you abandon ship,
And I abandon my anxious breath.
Drowning in emotions I become swallowed in the waves of tears.

Forgive my eyes for being blind.
They only see pain.

Forgive my hands for shaking.
I can't stop them from being afraid.

Forgive this head for over-thinking.
I can't feel safe.

Forgive my tears for being absent.
My eyes are not aloud to cry.

Forgive my body for not being able to feel.
It isn't strong enough to bear it's pain.

Forgive my heart for being silent.
It was silenced long ago by a bad man.

Dear father do you see my scars?
The ones that marked me all alone,
For all the nights I had no home.
Please find me somewhere else to hide.
On the way I bruised my faith,
Looks like it might stay that way.
Just bury me somewhere in your light.
For years I've prayed for her mistake,
Just to find love's come to late.
    Bring me back home.
    Make me your own.

Dear father am I still your child?
Or have a brought you more mistakes,
Then all the pain you plan to take
Please help me learn what I did wrong.
I know you've loved me all my life,
But my existence has crossed the line.
Just hold me until all light has gone.
Tonight you will close your eyes,
And you'll open them and realize
      I'll find my own.
      When death makes me a home.