5: warm welcome, a kind beginning begun
___________________________________

it is a bit of a shock, the world of words
more often swallows & surrounds you up  between walls of impenetrable silence

you actually read me, heard me, even
fed me!  they taught me/us to diagram
our sentences into its component parts,
like a car going to an auto body shop,

***, my car needed a muffler but instead
I was given a new horn, and I’m in an empty
Walmart parking lot, unsurrounded,
and leaning on the horn, making
a fireworks celebration of one sound,
and your
warm welcome,  kind welcome,
to a visitor to this new planet,
astonishes & astounds, for it
seems we speak the sane/same
language, how can this be???

Is smiling a word on this planet?

i tell myself not to chide you child  
not to berate you into a convenient obedience
yet....

just last Monday eve
i told your voice that it was shrill   like a hurt bird
(that cuts a career as Singer out of your future)

just yesterday
i told you graphically and with crazed gestures
about the dangers of the open upstairs window
(a future fear of heights may well be on its way)

and i remember once
i told your body that society frowns upon ******
(that'll ensure future embarrassment  shame
and ****** awkwardness)

i chide myself now
   these practices must cease

Distraught,
Destroyed,
Dis,
embodied.

My halls,
The walls,
my wicked falls turn'd from stone,
dissolved to nary a diffid tone thrown by ******* bones.

An amorphous form born from the aimless mourning that now has no space to face and call my own.

Telltale swarms of which I myself did warn would come,
Once and again I crumble from what once which I would succumb.

Myself. Dear. Gone.

I am,
afloat in limbo forever struck with what,
I Left only to silence my mind until once again,
I would find the cut.

...
Page 2

My totality revised,
Scratched through like the words unworthy.
Smoothed over the rough draft,
Autobiography progressive,
Nary writing another day's pages.

i loved you.
i wanted nothing more than to be with you,

so am i really okay breaking your heart like this?
intentionally playing the villain is just so much easier,
than having to explain a loss.

sometimes i think that i still do.

In the empty but crowded places
In the heart full of things and people
In the love that screams needs
In the darkness of lights
I hope I have that someone
in whose heart there is a special place
with whom the crowded places seems empty with just him and me
The needs of ours are fulfilled with love
And in each others happiness We are able to love our darkness too.

the clouds grow heavy
and now the rain falls softly
the animals dance