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Nigel Finn Apr 2016
I've got that feeling once again,
After staying up til 3 A.M,
When insecurities start to creep,
And I curse myself for lack of sleep.

It seems I have no way of knowing,
Which way my thought process is going,
One day I'm happy, the next I'm glum,
And console myself with smoke and ***.

I try to find a compromise-
Get blasted drunk, and close my eyes,
But the world keeps spinning round and round,
Bottle's empty- no peace found.

Like the Irish airman in the sky,
I seem to watch as other lives flash by,
Then I pass out, hoping I'll never know,
The places those tormented souls must go.
A Sassoon inspired poem (the last two lines are almost completely stolen from "Suicide in the Trenches"), with a nod to W.B.Yeats with the Irish airman reference. Two of my favourite poets.

Written whilst feeling a bit guilty that I'm just a small, insignificant person with not much power to change anything, and being quite drunk. Never a good combination.
tlhago Mar 2016
last night i managed to write something in the book you bought me
your name has never looked so pretty

on my wrist and inner thigh
it evoked feelings i thought i had lost

fresh blood trickled down to the floor
i wondered if you still knew my name

i promised myself i wouldn't do this again
or remembered the colour of my eyes

between my heart and my brain, one betrayed me
and how shiny they were when you left

this is the last time i'm ever picking up an pen and paper
the lies i tell myself at 3am when i can't seem to fall asleep
Nath Rye Feb 2016
looking at my arms and legs
they were never really
the length i'd hoped
they'd grow.

struggle
always seemed to come out
of this predicament

but
I had family.
A family of giants
who could all,
individually,
catch fish with ease
or pick the freshest fruit from the highest tree.

they never forgot,
though, about their dwarf
of a brother-
they protected me
like I was one of their own.

they loved me, and i loved them back.

most of the time, anyways
i can't blame them
for mistakenly
stepping on a dwarf's pride
self-worth
self-confidence
because a dwarf could never really
assert his presence as well.

where would i be without them, the giants?
where would i be without them?
without them?
i'm nothing.
just one of those 3am thoughts.
Mica Kluge Jan 2016
I called her
At three am.
I asked her if
She was awake.
She lied and said
That she was.
I had woken her up.
"Take me somewhere,"
I asked her.

She had a car.
I didn't.

I didn't think
She would actually
Come because she
Hated mornings.

We were in college
Then, and I met her
In the parking lot.

She held a cup of
Coffee and was
Dressed in a hoodie
And sweatpants.

In the darkness,
I couldn't see
Her eyes.
I thought she was
Still asleep.
Was I ever wrong.

She opened the door
Of her car and
Slid in, lithe as
A cat.

I had never ridden
With her, so the
Moment I climbed
In the car was
The moment I learned
Something unusual
About her:
This girl I knew,
Or thought I did,
Drove a stick shift.
She was the only
Girl I knew who
Could drive a stick shift.

"Are you sure that you're
Awake enough to drive?"
I asked her.

She turned to me,
And, now, I could see
Her eyes in the light
Of the dash display.
I had never seen her,
This shy academic,
Look that wild.
She was alive,
More alive than
I had ever seen
Anyone.

She drove like
She had been born to,
Like it was her one purpose,
The one thing for which
She lived.

The empty three am interstate.
The space between three and four
Thousand rpms.
Incredibly loud music.
I could see the appeal.

This was life.
This was living.

We came back to reality,
Back to school,
As the dawn broke.
"Thank you," I told her,
But I didn't know what for.

I couldn't make a list of what
She had given me that
I was grateful for.
I didn't know if I was grateful.
Having lived in that high,
I couldn't go back to
My life, eking out my existence,
Without such intense torture,
Wanting that high again.

I had lived and
Now, I was addicted to life.
All because of a
Quietly wild girl
And her stick shift.
Sad Girl Dec 2015
I remember breaking down at 3am screaming "He'll never love me when I'm happy"
I guess even then in my lowest moment I really knew the truth - you only wanted to fix me
Nigel Finn Dec 2015
The darker side of my mind is where
Abstractions of fragmented poetry breeds;
A baby lies dead in a Hong Kong gutter,
And my lines fall into place.

Broken hearts sing lullabies to me,
Two savage beatings spare me a verse,
New Orleans lends me four at low interest,
And throws in a haiku for free.

The old veteran quotes me three lines
And gets buried with the last.
The rhyme festers with his body;
Both soldier
                      and verse
            are
                       free
                                       again.

I can't explain the beauty I see
In the dying faces of the abandoned ones,
Nor tell you why, if the bomb were dropped tomorrow
I should weep in both anguish and delight.

I can only tell you, should it all end,
Should all modern horrors dissapear,
The future will weep for the joys of the present
And smiles will dissapear forever
Javanira Waters Nov 2015
things are blurry
I can't think straight
thoughts are bouncing off the walls
I'm losing my mind
make it stop
I need you here
why aren't you here
where did you go
why did you leave
when are you coming back
the thoughts are filled with you
you
you
you
I ****** up didn't I
I ****** up
I'm sorry
please come back
it's all I want
I want things to be okay again
are you okay
is the night treating you well
are you ever going to come back
why did I say that
why did I have to **** things up
I can't function without you
I'm trying not to cry
it's hard
it's hard to catch my breath
my lungs are collapsing
my throat is closing
my eyes are covered by unfallen tears
make it stop
is this what death feels like
I'd rather be dead than feel like this
I'd rather be in your arms
I'd rather things be okay
but they're not
I'm sorry
please come home
I worry about you
I worry something bad will happen
please I'm sorry
I didn't mean it
I was mad
I never should've said it
I'm gasping for air
I'm holding on
I'm a piece of nothing
a piece of ******* ****
my body is heavy
my heart is panicking
my lungs won't inflate
my mouth is wheezing
my mind is in a state of insanity
I keep writing
nothing seems to be working
you're not back yet
what if you're hurt
what if you're crying
what if I ****** up for good this time
I can't lose you
I can't contain these thoughts
I'm experiencing insanity
I keep thinking the same things
over and over again
hoping for a change
hoping you'll come home
but you won't
you won't
you won't
you won't
I miss you
I love you
I'm sorry
i ****** up one night and this was the outcome
Alexandra Nov 2015
3am
I'm not quite sure where we were
Maybe the tunnels by the creek
Or maybe the canyons on the west side
Those details are minor
Because what I remember
Is my head on your chest
And your whisper in my ear

You told me we'd figure it all out
Someday, this would all make sense
But I wasn't so focused on your words
As I was remembering your scent in my hair

Eventually my heart slowed
I feel as if it's been racing for days
And my breaths became more even
As your chest rose and fall

What a feeling peaceful bliss is
Or maybe it'd be more appropriate
To call it ignorance
To think that maybe we were made for each other

I awake and darkness surrounds me
What a surprise, it's 3am
My heart sinks a little
And a slow chill envelopes me
As I realize you're not there, you never were
It was just a dream
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