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gravygod Apr 2016
i'm the man drinking coffee alone at the diner who kindly asks you for the time. you reply but you don't even look at me in my eyes.
i'm the lone deer you hit while driving at 3am. you don't even stop the car. you even forgot about it the next day.
i'm the homeless cat you stopped feeding at night. i still meow at your doorstep. you just ignore it.
this is not finished. this will never be finished.
enigma Apr 2016
3AM
phychotic nightmare
awakened,but dead
crimson blood, where I lay
body frail, numb skin
images of grey corpse
in my sickened mind
so deranged,so ******...
home but not sheltered
a devil
a holy and sacred soul
takened from nirvana
pinned at the edge
of this disillusional world
Jay Apr 2016
i am sitting here at 3 am
confronting the empty side of my bed
my thoughts hold me hostage
to create a cage
that i will not be able to escape

i try to play dead
until they leave me alone
i try to shift shapes
for a hope they might leave
i try lighting a candle
for flicks of light to cast
the darkness away
but i soon begin to realize
that im not afraid of the dark

i cant get out of bed
my thoughts are holding me hostage
im at a place i dont want to be at
and can not leave
the sound of loneliness slowly begins to deafen me
the silver ray of moon is almost blinding me

all that i see through the reflection of my glass
are the bones of a hollow body, just like silver, starting to rust

and here i speak to my thoughts
that i have surrendered to their thoughtless plots
they ring my ears, with demands
to give up my soul to their filthy hands

i stumble as i try to stand up
i am as weak as a sedated body ready to be cut
my knees tremble like magnets
attached to no other but my bed
they repel any movement to stand up straight

panic fills my fearful cup
my gaze shifts to my reflection
and i see the ghost
of forgotten remains of someone who
has lost

i do not want to die
i deserve more
than being ended by no other than my filthy thoughts
i force my eyes open and smash the reflection with both my fists
adrenaline painfully waking my body up
with every ounce i have left
i try to detach myself from my bed
i am peeling layers off
and have never been in more pain
but it is all worth the pain
for i wont fail myself again
to become forgotten ruins
of a life-time faded into a blank sheet

there is more to my story
than just an empty bed
for i will not be manipulated
by my own self again
even if it shall be 3 a.m again
Nigel Finn Apr 2016
I've got that feeling once again,
After staying up til 3 A.M,
When insecurities start to creep,
And I curse myself for lack of sleep.

It seems I have no way of knowing,
Which way my thought process is going,
One day I'm happy, the next I'm glum,
And console myself with smoke and ***.

I try to find a compromise-
Get blasted drunk, and close my eyes,
But the world keeps spinning round and round,
Bottle's empty- no peace found.

Like the Irish airman in the sky,
I seem to watch as other lives flash by,
Then I pass out, hoping I'll never know,
The places those tormented souls must go.
A Sassoon inspired poem (the last two lines are almost completely stolen from "Suicide in the Trenches"), with a nod to W.B.Yeats with the Irish airman reference. Two of my favourite poets.

Written whilst feeling a bit guilty that I'm just a small, insignificant person with not much power to change anything, and being quite drunk. Never a good combination.
tlhago Mar 2016
last night i managed to write something in the book you bought me
your name has never looked so pretty

on my wrist and inner thigh
it evoked feelings i thought i had lost

fresh blood trickled down to the floor
i wondered if you still knew my name

i promised myself i wouldn't do this again
or remembered the colour of my eyes

between my heart and my brain, one betrayed me
and how shiny they were when you left

this is the last time i'm ever picking up an pen and paper
the lies i tell myself at 3am when i can't seem to fall asleep
Nath Rye Feb 2016
looking at my arms and legs
they were never really
the length i'd hoped
they'd grow.

struggle
always seemed to come out
of this predicament

but
I had family.
A family of giants
who could all,
individually,
catch fish with ease
or pick the freshest fruit from the highest tree.

they never forgot,
though, about their dwarf
of a brother-
they protected me
like I was one of their own.

they loved me, and i loved them back.

most of the time, anyways
i can't blame them
for mistakenly
stepping on a dwarf's pride
self-worth
self-confidence
because a dwarf could never really
assert his presence as well.

where would i be without them, the giants?
where would i be without them?
without them?
i'm nothing.
just one of those 3am thoughts.
Mica Kluge Jan 2016
I called her
At three am.
I asked her if
She was awake.
She lied and said
That she was.
I had woken her up.
"Take me somewhere,"
I asked her.

She had a car.
I didn't.

I didn't think
She would actually
Come because she
Hated mornings.

We were in college
Then, and I met her
In the parking lot.

She held a cup of
Coffee and was
Dressed in a hoodie
And sweatpants.

In the darkness,
I couldn't see
Her eyes.
I thought she was
Still asleep.
Was I ever wrong.

She opened the door
Of her car and
Slid in, lithe as
A cat.

I had never ridden
With her, so the
Moment I climbed
In the car was
The moment I learned
Something unusual
About her:
This girl I knew,
Or thought I did,
Drove a stick shift.
She was the only
Girl I knew who
Could drive a stick shift.

"Are you sure that you're
Awake enough to drive?"
I asked her.

She turned to me,
And, now, I could see
Her eyes in the light
Of the dash display.
I had never seen her,
This shy academic,
Look that wild.
She was alive,
More alive than
I had ever seen
Anyone.

She drove like
She had been born to,
Like it was her one purpose,
The one thing for which
She lived.

The empty three am interstate.
The space between three and four
Thousand rpms.
Incredibly loud music.
I could see the appeal.

This was life.
This was living.

We came back to reality,
Back to school,
As the dawn broke.
"Thank you," I told her,
But I didn't know what for.

I couldn't make a list of what
She had given me that
I was grateful for.
I didn't know if I was grateful.
Having lived in that high,
I couldn't go back to
My life, eking out my existence,
Without such intense torture,
Wanting that high again.

I had lived and
Now, I was addicted to life.
All because of a
Quietly wild girl
And her stick shift.
Sad Girl Dec 2015
I remember breaking down at 3am screaming "He'll never love me when I'm happy"
I guess even then in my lowest moment I really knew the truth - you only wanted to fix me
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