3AM thoughts are not a thing of beauty.
3AM thoughts haunt you.
They do not care if you have school the next day.
They do not care if you have to wake up early the next day.
Hell, they do not care if you've stayed up the past week because of them.
3AM thoughts are romanticized.
They are not something you want.
They are not something you need.
They are not something you desire.
3AM thoughts chill you to the bone
They cause anxiety
They cause bad grades
They cause chaos
3AM thoughts cause tears.
They do not fill you with happiness
They do not fill you with hope
They do not fill you with future goals.
3AM thoughts haunt you
With "what ifs"
With "why wasn't I good enough"
With "will I ever be good enough"
3AM thoughts fill you with questions that will never be answered.
"What if I was skinnier"
"What if I was prettier"
"What did I do"
3AM thoughts are all about you.
i want to write a poem
and list all the things that haven't broken
in your world
not everything has fallen apart into
those pieces you see all the time
not everything is all tears and blood and heartbreak
because there is so much more
hiding under the surface, that you
are trying not to see
why aren't you trying to see it?
all the smiles and laughter and words
that we shared
what about that time we stayed up until 3 am talking about
that book you like
the one I don't even like
but 3am is the time to listen to happy things
not the sad things about death and the tears you have
so stop thinking about that at 3am
spend those thoughts in broad daylight
because things will always look better
with drops of sunlight falling on them instead of
stop dropping tears on the things that are
already sad enough
you have enough sadness so stop
focusing on the things that make you upset
and focus on the laughs you had
and the smiles you got from a walk through your life
and the happiness that we shared all the time
or do you not remember that?
do you know remember how I laughed with you
how I laughed even though your jokes weren't funny
and no one else was laughing except for me and you
doesn't that mean anything
don't you remember how I held you through the dark times
and told you that it's okay to be sad
you don't remember how I told you everyone was sad sometimes
you think you're the only one who has darkness inside them
to you everyone else
is just enjoying the sunshine
while you are crying at 3am
what world are you living in?
everyone cries at 3am
they can't help it
the world is so warped and twisted around them that
they try to grin at 3am and laugh along with
the rest of the day
but no one does
all that comes out is tears
tears that aren't fake no matter how much you think
everyone cries at 3am
they cry in their sleep
they cry tears huddled up in bed
they cry on the bridge as they try to end it
they cry as they get the call "it's over. I don't love you"
they cry as their beloved pet fish slowly sinks down into it's tank
they cry as they realize that you don't know that
they cry too.
they cry tears of blood sometimes
or just tears of water that they haven't drank in a month
not everyone shows how they broken they are you know
some bottle it up and try to enjoy the sunlight
but the problem is that then it all comes out at 3am
when there is no light to shine on their problems
there's only darkness to show them what they think
they think they're all alone and that no one cares
enough to check up on them, hiding in the dark
but you can do it all better
you can push past the urges at 3am
and smile instead of cry because
you can do it for them
dive deep under the ocean your tears have formed because
not everyone has to cry at 3am
you can make it.
(tw for suicide and blood mention as well as sad stuff)
3AM this morning, you broke my heart
You had me in your palms and you ripped me apart
3AM this morning, there was no more us
No more me and you left to discuss
3AM this morning, you left me alone
Not even in person, not a call but a text on the phone
3AM this morning, I felt my heart ache
I felt my arms shiver and I felt my knees quake
3AM this morning, I no longer had you
I lost my sun, my stars, my earth and my moon
3AM this morning, I felt a great loss
I miss you, I MISS YOU, no sugarcoats or gloss
3AM this morning felt like a dream
Tell me this is a joke or part of some scheme
Come back to me please cuz 3AM was a nightmare
Come back to me so our lives we can share
Come back so I can hold you again
So I can love you the right way with no distain
You have my heart, lock and key
I will fight for you if you are willing to fight for me
It's 3AM where are you?
It's 3AM I called you.
It's 3AM I still love you.
It's 3AM and I just got the call.
It's 3AM why'd you do this?
It's 3AM and you're still dead.
It's 3AM and I miss you.
It's 3 years later and I still cry at 3AM.
Suicide is a real problem that effects everyone. People will miss you. Your friends will make a sappy post about you. They really do care.
I'm on the phone
No one's awake and I'm alone
The radio's on
Songs are played on lonely station
I'm in my bed
My eyes are open and sleep has fled
I'm on the balcony
The sky is dark and just quite scary
Some windows have lights
Could they also not sleep tonight
I'm still awake
When will life ever give me a break
Insomniac nights are the worst. And it's been going on like this for quite awhile.
it's at 3am
i cry for help
i cry for love
i cry for lost hope
i cry for crushed dreams
i cry in pain
i cry with jealousy
i cry silently
cry to be seen
at 3am i cry
i cry with my memories
i cry with my pen
i cry as the world around me
i weep to the moon
i weep for the lost souls
the people i misplaced
i weep with the man on the moon
and when the clouds obscure
i weep on my own
3am, sleepless nights
with aches as deep as my bones
tears behind my face and
sobs behind my throat
i run out of words to use
i miss my muse
i run out of things to say, that
describe my brain, i-
all i can say, is...
at 3am, i cry
(C) Elissar Mustapha, 08.01.2019
Tick Tick Tick.
3am. see. that's when the
clock broke and I broke down
Put my pride aside and
decided I'd take ink to my crumpled up heart
to write you a letter
with the tainted blood you left flowing through my veins
the, clock broke and now I'm wondering when mourning you ends
and morning begins again
3am and I'm accepting the apologies that I never received
3am and i'm coming to terms with the lies that I never believed
I was always blissfully ignorant to the truths you kept as secrets
painfully aware of all the lies you cowered under
3am and I'm simply searching for the
truth in real ties and the pleasure in pain
Can you give me that?
I'm fixin' on how to rewind time, and fix the
hands on your clock
so that they match mine
my thoughts sit on a grey cloud in my mind
and I realize.
I can't write anymore.
without you--I can barely even breathe
so tell me...how am I
supposed to place two words standing together
while this whole time I've been on my knees
tick. tick. tick.
3am, that's when the clock blocked and my hand stopped
how am gonna finish this ?... I guess I'm not.
****, writer's block.
I love the 3am phone calls when you pour out your heart to me
Tell me how thing are and how you want them to be
Tell me things about you that many people can't see
I love the 3am phone calls when we run out of words and sit in silence
When you lean on me for guidance
Even though silent, your emotions louder than sirens
Even though I love our 3am phone calls I know you are high
I know you popped some and downed some and when I say goodbye
You won't remember anything the next day
Even though I love our 3am phone calls I wish you'd see this is not who you are not by a long shot
What do you think would happened if you got caught?
Why do you want to throw away all the battles you've fought?
One day during our 3am phone calls you won't be on cloud twenty two
Then I can tell you what I've always wanted to
All the things I've kept inside for the sober you
I love our 3am phone calls and I love you too
Everyone was somewhere else after 3AM
and the world seemed to fall into a fascinating silence
I was alone with my mind
There was nothing and no one that could interrupt the journey of my thoughts
I could feel the thin, gentle breeze flutter playfully along the back of my neck
The sounds of creaking floorboards and rustling leaves dominated
My mind was clearer after 3AM
Although I was drunk with fatigue
My mind and thoughts were intact
I could feel and hear the universe working at 3AM
Even though I could not see it at all
It had made me realize how beautiful the world truly was
But its raw resplendence was only evident
beneath the bustle of the crowds
and the panic in the streets
And that was only after 3AM
— The End —