Honesty
It is feeling
the genuine one

The year I've been me
No pretense
No act
I was never fine,
I've seen me be scared me

The confidence coat I've shed
I can see the marks
where I've bled
It is all on open
I am healing this time.

suspended notes drift
through space
spectacular orbs of honeyed
sunlight burning though
loneliness, isolation
a haloed warmth
echoes through
my body
splashing energy
awakening stilled corners

with eyes closed, I absorb
a riverbed of colors
gravitating oracles
motions of tender memory
tinted jade
& streaked magenta
how they stain
my feelings' tongue
infusing hopeful breaths
with generosity,
infinite love

oh, that I might linger here
held between these columns
elevating rhythms
captivated beneath a forest
of stars so vast my mind
cannot conceive their origins
nor their destinations
I am no longer standing
in the present, but timeless
a particle enveloped
in each pulsating droplet
transformed into snowflakes
soaking your face

         can you feel my love?

New dew on the lush olive green leaves,
coherent chaos awaits.

PART 1:
Small talk, no conversation
That look makes me impatient
I can't tell what you’re thinking
Yes or no?
Last night we were more than fine
Just tell me if you changed your mind
At least show me a sign,
If you changed your mind
Cause I'm all in
I’m calling, no answer
But you text me when you feel like
When it feels right to you
When those feelings spike your heart of doubt
You know you got me in palm of your hand
And I love those hands
But you only let me hold you when he can’t
Wish you wouldn’t kiss me
Right now, on your lips just leave it
If you don’t mean it
Don’t build me up just to let me down
Don’t tell me you’re falling
With your feet still on the ledge
Leaving my heart on the edge

PART 2:
You picked me up
Put us down, and put me through this
Why?
Started off as a good thing, a sure thing
You held back but I know
Reminisce our time in spring
In that moment our lips touched the rush sent us straight to the moon
I should’ve known that we’d be coming down soon
Every time I think I love somebody
I always find a way to throw it away
Feel the air around us become soggy
I don’t wanna hurt anybody
I don’t wanna be the one to say
That we gotta have a conversation
And I thought you would stay forever where we lay
At the end, you watched the tears run down my face

PART 3:
To be young and in love in…
To know who I am but still know that I am good long as you’re here with me
Midnight sun into morning coffee
Burning through the hours talking
I knew from the first time, I’d stay for a long time
****, I liked me better when I was with you
Wish you would stay awhile
Stay here with me
My mind, whispers in the nighttime
That voice always keeping me up
Telling me that I shouldn’t give up
Lately, I’ve been stuck in the backseat to my own life
Tried to take control, but I don’t know how to
I don't wanna be sad forever
I’m calling to the other side
My sequin tears flood away my sorrow
Cause that’s all I can do today
But I’ll make it through tomorrow
After I am desolate from these feelings which betray…

I’m living through a pandemic.
The sum of our daily lives has been reduced to monotony
that renders me insane some mornings and free the next.
I awake to news of just-discovered symptoms,
and incoherent ramblings of injecting Lysol from that man
and the susceptible deaths of the poor and the Black –
at least some things never change.
I have come to savor the simple pleasures
of food, fresh air and do-nothings.
Yet, my body finds a craving for chaos,
the feeling of running with your eyes wide shut.
I stay inside, my house and myself,
and feel, feel, feel.
A thing no one has time for in a world for profit.
A thing we have all the time in the world to do these days.