Golden sands, oh take me
Forest green moon, don't forsake me
Glass blue sea, underneath me
Ash, stone, and blaze now surrounds me

Destined lands that were taken
Stories we made gone and shaken
Oh my lovely drifting memories
Couldn't protect them, so I must set them free

Desperate plans
To make them
Soon chilled by the sight of lights dim
Trials and
Tribulations
Send me softly to vacation

From your hands, you may save me
Come, please, be soon, will I soon be free
There are stories and revelations
Calling curses hexing desperations

Sing while I can
This will all soon cease
Lost
and choked
Forgetting how to breathe
Sing me to sleep, but softly, please
I've lost my land
And now my mourning...
.
.
.
.
.

Someone is looking
My soul is shaking
Maybe I've lost my mind

Maybe I'm crazy
Can you come save me
I think you're one of a kind

Put on my dressing
Can't stop obsessing
I envy the light you shine

You're so testing
Now I'm confessing
You're all that's on my mind

We're a world and generation set on depersonalization
Where everything is on social media but everyone is scared to socialize.
We all promise we "just need to vent" but is it venting or is it depression?
"He loves me, he's just tired. Its not abuse, she's just tired. I'm not okay, I'm really tired."
We all need to stop and chill without the help of benadryl.
But we need the drugs to feel normal.
A normal that they tell us to be
on the covers of our magazine
When we are all medicated to achieve the status quo
We can't learn from our mistakes if we can't remember them.
Instead of dealing with the guilt,
we soak in a bath as if the lavender suds will rinse away our ****** personality
We do it nightly and call it self care.
And the self care we really need is lunch that isn't Oreos and to join therapy.
We fill the empty hole inside of us with cigarettes and ***** and food
And we don't even know we're empty because our parents are empty too
And the only ones who can recognize the absense
Are the same ones telling us to work harder to buy our first house and car before the age of 25
When really, we haven't even settled on what we want to be when we grow up
Our grandparents and parents beg us to have babies because "I'm not getting any younger."
But I'm quickly getting older Dad, so shut up and let me drink until I pass out without worrying about how much my child will have to heal from, just like I'm healing now with Bacardi 151.
Its a cycle and there's no handle bars
Celebrities writing songs and movies, a fill-in-the-blank series that mimics a horoscope
To drag in the masses with feelings of unity when really we have no idea what our brother went through when we were laying on our uncle's bed at midnight at 5 years old.
They want us to be the same except for when its not convenient, and suddenly the children of rich people are to be scorned but they hate the black people who hate the black rich people
And its another cycle, the chain popped off and the brakes are our feet
Just like when we were kids except now we have no shoes on and we are rolling down a hill that stops at a lake
And our empty parents forgot to teach us how to swim.
Its 2019 now, when will  America be great in the first place?

IV. FAITH

Trust, trust, trust. Trust in His word
Fear and Doubt are being absurd.

Only in God should your hope be found
Let Christ be your solid ground.

There’s no need to be in such a hurry
Trust fully in God, and do not worry

He will bring to pass what is to be.
All in His good time, you will see.

Offer Him your fear and doubt in prayer
And don’t you forget He is always there.

I am Faith, feel me in your soul
Trust in God, He will make you whole.

2/3/19

III. DOUBT
Wait, wait, wait. Why such a rush?
How do you know this is more than a crush?
What if you see what you wish to be
Rather than what really is?
That smile, a blush— you wish to see
So you do, even though it’s not there.

Maybe it’s just your imagination
A lonely heart’s sad creation
Are you sure she feels the same as you?
Or are you quickly jumping
To a conclusion that simply isn’t true.
Shouldn’t we wait until we’re certain?

Listen close, just hear me out.
We don't even know her, for I am Doubt.

2/3/19

II. FEAR
Lies! Lies! Lies! All of it, lies!
Everything you feel burning up inside.

She can never love you. She will never want you.
She doesn’t even like you. She will forever haunt you.

She thinks you’re gross— A stalker, a creep.
She’s afraid of you— You’re a monster, a freak.

You are different, strange, a little mentally deranged.
You are broken, used, something she would never choose.

Don’t listen to Hope, ignore your heart and soul
She is not a savior, she will not make you whole.

Sure, she’ll put together the shattered pieces of your heart
Only to sit back, laugh, and watch you fall apart.

You are wrong now just like you were wrong then.
Let Doubt be a warning, don’t make this mistake again.

The darkness is consuming. We will keep assuming,
You will never draw her near. Embrace me, I am Fear.

1/31/19