Sometimes when I'm down,
Defeated,
Or weak,

All I need is a kind word from you,
As you to listen to my song,
Or read my poems,
Followed by a smile,

Then I will know that everything will be alright,
I will pick myself back up
And become again the strong man that you demand,
Whom you love.

That is all that I needed

In the spring
I saw you liked a pretty girl
with a pretty smile
a pretty laugh
and a great body

So over the summer I made myself pretty too
changed my hair
changed my makeup
and ate healthy

When I came back to school in the fall
I got double takes from boys
and jealous eyes from girls
but not a single look came from you.

my phone beeped
in an almost deserted train compartment.
my boss,
'where have you reached?'
I sighed and replied,
'should reach in 5'
(would reach in 20)
same old dance
to the tune of corporate slavery.

a sharp sound,
I looked up.
the sound dissolved
into a fit of giggles.

a group of kids
playing around, teasing,
their mother close by;
a hawker, selling trinkets in the train.

it looked so natural.
a working mum
looking after her kids while on the job
(doesn't work that way does it?
guess they didn't have anywhere safe
without her)

I couldn't look away.

it was such a sight...
torn, tattered clothes
dirt and mud all over
and those innocent giggles;
it didn't add up.

I was tired, aching,
infatuating about sleep;
feet bleeding in killer heels,
rushing around without purpose,
forced into an exploitative overtime job
by myself; frustrated,
trying to keep up with society.

the little family
calm, collected;
torn, tattered smiles held with grace,
facing their exploitative poverty
with innocent mischief and honest labour.

confused,
I had a thought:
that's the life they've known,
this is the life I've known.
we fit in our lives...
differently?

no...
we fit in different lives in the same way.
I struggle she struggles,
we both have good bad days.

I didn't realize I was smiling
till she smiled back.

I bought something
and got off at the next stop,
wishing she has more good days than bad
and the kids keep their giggles
a little longer than they can..

The tears of the blind
And the lies of the deaf.

And the people who wish for their death.

So many people lying in unmarked graves
And the people that we don't even know their names.

When the stars shine
I close my eyes.
And when you look at me
I turn away.
And when someone cries
I put my head down.
Because I just haven't
reached that point of maturity
that I need to understand why things happen.

I don't understand why God
put those stars there for me.
I don't understand why
you would even look at me more than once.
I don't understand why people have to hurt.
And I don't understand why
I can't seem to understand.

How do I make you understand
     Understand what you mean to me
          How your words cut me
How do I make you understand
      Understand that I don't know what I would do without you
           Even though your words cut me
How do I make you understand
      Understand that I love you
            Even though I know you don't love *me

I want someone
Who can read my eyes
And communicate with them
So that we can share jokes
From across the room
Or alert each other
During emergencies.

I want someone
Who can differentiate my smiles.
Real ones, fake ones
So that even when everyone else
Is fooled,
You won't be.

I need someone
Who can understand
That I'm a complicated,
Contradictory person.
That I may blow hot and cold
But in the end
I'll still love you.