I wish that you hadn’t stolen glances at me from the rear view mirror;
I wish that you hadn’t gazed so hard into my eyes until my ears had turned red;
I wish you didn’t see all the good in me
I wish that I didn’t feel this way;

I wish we had the time;
I wish you had gotten to truly know me;
But if I can’t make you happy then someone else surely can.

So from now I will stop wishing.

I’ll stop wishing that you’d hold me
I’ll stop wishing that we’d share a life together
I’ll stop wishing that we would build a family
I’ll stop seeing myself fight for you daily
(Because I would have fought for you)

I had your back.
I am angry,
Because you led me on.
I am angry,
Because I realize now that I was the rebound.
But most of all,

I’m angry because we didn’t try.

But I am nobodies second choice.
Not now.
Not Ever.

I'm homesick for a place to which I cannot return
a home that maybe was never mine for the taking,

A home where I once was my most authentic self
it was a home like no other

A salvation,

My heart is restless for home I once called love.

-A

god i don’t know how many times i can write the same thing,
write that i’m obsessed with you.
obsessed with your smile and laugh
and the way you watch me when i’m happy.
i always used to care that it was unrequited,
now
i just count my blessings each and every night
to have you in my life.

Sometimes
“I'm just tired”
Means
I'm sad

Sometimes
“I'm just tired”
Means
I feel like nothing

Sometimes
“I'm just tired”
Means
I don't know

Sometimes
“I'm just tired”
Means
You wouldn’t understand

Sometimes
“I'm just tired”
Means
I want to cry but I won't

Sometimes
“I'm just tired”
Means
I just wish…

Sometimes
“I'm just tired”
Means
I want to scream

And Sometimes
“I’m just tired”
Means I’m lost
and I don't know what to do

Everyone remembers
That roses have thorns
And that ivy is poison,
But nobody told me
That the fire in her eyes
Would rage and ravage
My heart and soul.
And nobody told me
How much I would love it.

I’ll never be the ‘nice’ girl
Clean and pure like fallen snow,
But I will burn away the hate
And any demons you may know.

I promise that I’ll be here
When the darkness hurts your heart
I will glow, burn, and light the way
Because ‘pretty’ can’t match art.

I’ll burn with the rage of fire
But I won’t be your glowing moon,
I do not love nor give trust freely,
But it’s strongest when I do.

You might only see my shielded heart
And my ever-guarded soul,
But find the crack and then
I’ll be yours- eternal, broken, whole.

I’ll never be the nice girl
Because I’m ‘better’ than just nice-
Because my fire burns the brightest
And I’ll be willing to pay their price.

I wish that you wouldn't smile
for every time you do
my fragile heart skips a beat
and I start feeling blue.

I wish that you wouldn't laugh
it makes me like you more
every one little giggle
is something I adore.

I wish that you wouldn't speak
at least not right to me
it makes me have butterflies
my heart screams "Let me be!"

I wish that you wouldn't look
straight at me like you do
as if you're searching my soul
and making me want you.

But though I wish all these things
I hope it won't come true
I don't want you to stop the
things that make me like you.