Time to stop running
It's time for me to face the truth.
Look away from my reflected hate
Forget all the painful loss
Realize that-
Nothing is ever going to work out for me,
But it's the same for most people
So hell,
I might as well try
To live a decent life.

If you looked closely,
You might notice,
The dark circles under her eyes,
The creases in her forehead.

If you paid attention,
You might notice,
Her bitten down fingernails,
The dead look in her eyes.

If you really looked at her,
You might notice,
The tear streaks beside her eyes,
The tiny scars on her arms.

If you watched her,
You might notice,
The way she looks sad when someone says love,
The frown she wears when no one is watching.

But if you didn't pay attention,
You would see,
A kind, humorous, and loving girl
Who has so much ambition.

Sometimes-
I wish you would look behind my eyes,
And listen to me when I'm silent.
I wish you would pick through my thoughts-
And automatically know how I feel.
I wish you could see the view I have of the world-
That I cannot explain out loud.
God, I wish you could see what I think,
When I'm silent.

It comes upon you slowly at first
You believe it can be handled,
Can be controlled.
But you are so terribly wrong.
You are so weak,
You have no power of its control on you.
No power when
It quickly eats away your soul.
And changes you.

How is it that you don't think I know?
Acting completely different,
This isn't you.
The more you do this,
The more you get under my skin.
It makes me angry.
You are only looking for attention.
I have only one thing to say.
Be careful,
My friend,
For you will eventually find
The attention you were looking for.
And it will be different than you thought.

Gotta try harder
Have to stop failing.
But it's hard,
You know?
Life allows room for too much mistake.
Mistakes make us stronger
Because we learn from them.
But also,
They can destroy us.
Make us question ourselves,
Our values.
How can we live to perfection?
It isn't possible.
But the thought that we can,
Disappoints us
When we mess up.
I disappoint myself everyday,
So I tell myself
I gotta try harder
Have to stop failing.

I wish to go back to the day-
When we first met.
It was the day I let my guard down,
And I let you into my mind.
That was my first mistake.
One I will never make again.
Trust nobody,
I should've thought
To let me know to turn around.

Because maybe then,
I thought you were a friend.
But you were just the beginning to an end.

These feelings engulf me,
But yet I feel nothing
I pretend I'm okay,
But I just want to explode.

I need to know-
Am I crazy?
Different?
I'm a "good" kid

If only they knew-
These thoughts I've had.
Barely hanging on
Losing the grip on reality.

You see,
The thing is,
I'm standing on an abandoned road
That goes two directions.
I can only choose to go one way
Because the distances are so far.
I need to find my direction
And go that way.
But,
I have no car
No bike.
I must walk.

When I see you,
My heart literally skips a beat
The way you smile, with that glimmer in your eyes,
seriously makes me weak.
The sound of your voice
Makes every worry disappear.
I love the way you made me fall in love,
And when your with me, I have no fear,
Of anything but losing you,
Beacause without you I'm just a girl,
Who used to be in love.