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in your eyes
the sky is twice as deep
and on your lips,
the sun, its hottest yet
I'm not even sure who I am anymore...
I've become but a shell of myself, before.

And my eyes, once happy, look hollow and cold,
with a empty sadness that can't be consoled.

As loneliness grows, festering inside-
the hurt becomes much harder to hide.
 
Darkness has taken control of my heart...
quietly and completely, I'm falling apart.
 
Gathering shards of my broken soul,
I quickly forget what it is to be whole.
 
Life has lost meaning, but I no longer care.
I'm numb...I'm nothing- just dust in the air.
 
Yet envy eats at me, day and night
for those who exist without this fight.

Impassive I let all hope fade away,
knowing tomorrow will be just like today.
 
I am oh so weary from living as I do-
dear lord, let this end, I beg of you...
No matter how I tweak it, this poem never feels finished to me...
softly whisper those words in your ears
each time i see that pair of tiring eyes
hold both of your hands while looking into your eyes with a proud smile on my face

kiss you on your cheeks as the rewards
simply hold you inside my arms all night long for you to relieve your soul

simply do what's inside my mind
i wished i could just pour all my heart out

those words of
"i am so proud of you"
i wish i could whisper them into your ears .
this has been inside me for quite a while, today's weather is so nice yet cool and i hope those what inside my heart is perfectly being poured out, God I hope all will be just fine and better .
'Cause when I say, "Go to sleep,"
It means, "I love you."
Or when I tell you to eat,
That means, "Hey I care."
When you tell me that you love me,
and,
I call you an idiot,
That's me saying it back but with the equivalence of stupidity.
You are the reason I stay awake at night and dream with my eyes open,
You are the stars in my dark sea that I have been constantly trying to drown myself in,
You are,
For Gods sake's,
My Planet Earth because what else is going to supply me the oxygen I need when my brain says,
"Don't breathe."
You make me not want to die when all I could think of is dying cause you know,
Depression.
You are my alarm clock to when I sleep in,
My everyday phone call,
My back up plan when my back up plan needs a back up plan.
There are a billion of people out here that could have chosen me to deal with but you,
You at least tolerate me.
Thank you for the tolerance, at least.
Love.
Loneliness smothers me in the night
  My mind tired of the ride
Blissful thoughts
  Are not even a trickle

I whisper sadly
   You should JUMP
Then loneliness
  Shall be no more

I cry to myself
  I deserve more from me
How did I get here?
  Is what i ask

I cannot remember
  This day or night
For it takes its stroll
  Right through the light

Only to leave me
  On this same old path
How did i get here
  Is all i ask

There is not
  But just one ride
I answer myself
  Just hold on tight!
i made a promise
i'd write for you
but words have been creeping inside
afraid to show and help me try
i swear i tried
and i tried for you
so i made a promise
i'd try for myself
but i failed in that too
06/07/17
I was yours but you were never mine
In the midst of those dark clouds
I was your sunshine.

The essence of your smile
Wiped all my tears.
The voice of your confidence
Vanished all my fears.

But all of it was just for a while
Cause I was yours
But you were never mine.

Embraced your tears
Craved for your smile
Loved your anger
And all those pretty lies.

But all of it was just for a while
Cause I was yours
But you were never mine.

The warmth of your breath across my face
The shiver of your touch filled all the space
The syncing of your lips across mine
The whisper of your voice reverberates in my mind.

But all of it was just for a while
Cause I was yours
But you were never mine.

When you were lost
I showed you the directions
But it was too late to realize
I was not your destination.

I chased your footsteps
As you walked away
Killing all my dreams ;on the way
Breaking all my hopes; I had to say
Numbing all my songs; making the lyrics float
In those sleepless night
For you which I wrote.

And now I see you
Fall over her lap
Tenderly sleeping
As she has filled the gap.
But don't worry about me
I'm fine.

Cause I was yours
But you were never mine.
 Jul 2017 Xiao - SparKticas
Nora
For your eyes I fell,
And for your smile my heart skipped a beat for the very first time
I knew nothing but you just felt so right
Your eyes told stories
And your smile captured my heart
And never have I noticed an eye or a smile since my eyes met yours
Your image is carved in my mind and locked in my heart
Love it is or a curse
I still can't figure out
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