she stands at a distance
with her hand reaching out to mine

but I cannot seem to make it to her–
before she changes her mind

I feel her warm skin, and
bounding heartbeat

but I wake up to cold sheets,
and the breeze of cold air surrounding me

she shows me her scars,
she tells me she is broken

I tell her I love her,
I show her devotion

she is like a ghost, she disappears,
she hides away

she haunts me in my sleep,
I ache for her, I miss her everyday

she tells me she doesn’t deserve my love,
she tells me to let her go

I can’t let her fade away
so I wait for her alone

She is lonely
but she wants to be alone
She is trapped in a room
with the door unlocked

She doesn’t remember
but her dreams don’t let her forget
She wants to wake up
even if she can still see the stars

She wants to be the best
but she feels like she is the worst
she works hard
even though she cannot move

one doll in your hand
one bottle in mine

I knew nothing in this world
except you,
before I knew time

you checked on me when
I was asleep
we would play outside
driving the barbie jeep

time suddenly went by so fast
school days became
college nights

you went away
protecting our country
living in plight  
fearless and resilient
I was checking on you every night

my turn to look after you
driving you home to live with me
to finally reunite

you’re  27 now
And I’m 25
Our sisterhood
is the foundation of my life

brain zaps, brain fog
welcome to Zoloft
refill your script
before you decide to quit
this pill comes with a cost
it's not that easy
to taper off
this illness is not visible
one might say it's despicable
the pill that can make things bearable
everyday at the same time
remember it's no cure
but
it can help
and that can be worth
feeling secure

The one thing we cannot control is the chaos around us
The acceptance of our fate is knowing
If you leave earlier you might still be late
Somewhere deep within our souls
We know that we can all relate
What choices do you have to control the chaos inside of you?
Close doors, inhale, and find comfort in the chaos because
There’s no escape

I wonder what you're thinking about with that blank stare.
Do you mean it when you tell me that no one else compares?
I want to believe in you but I have my doubts.
Where is someone that can tell me what you're really about?
Blue and glossy eyes, scarlet face, and frightful disposition.
I know my friends would tell me to run if they knew my position.
Your actions, I cannot deny, are beyond my comprehension.
I am stuttering and shaking, I can't help this apprehension.
When will I get the courage to leave you and accept our fate?
Sooner or later, they will see through my eyes too, and notice how they dilate.
Ask me how I am, I'll tell you I'm fine and some other lies.
But please don't listen to my words, just look at me in the eyes.