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Sarah Gammon Dec 2014
With no one to answer to,
I do what I want to.
This concept is new,
what do I like to do?

Go to a metal show,
hit in the nose with an elbow;
let the blood flow.
Didn't even feel the blow,
so I didn't even need to go
instead, myself, I did throw
back into the crowd I plough
and hit dude back, real low.

Go to the club to dance all night
keep going until morning light,
me and some ***** have a fight
but I come out alright ,
now us two are super tight.
Look at me now, living life!

Dudes lined up on their knees
each one is begging to please,
but they don't interest me.
Everybody wants a squeeze;
my happiness is such a tease.
Every guy thinks their the cheese,
each wanna try to meet my needs,
"gimme that ***", so they plead,
sorry fellas, nobody does it like me!

I scream my own name
and I love this change.
My life hasn't been the same,
since I stopped laying the blame
on others for keeping me lame.
I'm big now, I may have met fame!
Guys in the bands want my name,
Friends of friends are going insane,
"who's that girl with the quick-wit brain?
Wildly free; she can't be tame!
Hotter than the sun's own flame!"
It's for sure that I'm not plain,
you've been looking at me since I came,
but I'm not going to be claimed!
You can say that it's such a shame,
but these days, I feel no pain;
I'm not a part of anyone's game.

I thought I'd struggle on my own,
but the truth has now been shown
I've got the strength and the tone,
to say no in a drug filled zone.
Look at me and how I've grown,
doing better now that I'm alone;
I feel amazing, let it be known!
My mind is somewhat blown
with all the options I've been thrown,
figuring out where I feel at home
and loving that nothing's set in stone.

With no one to answer to,
I can really do what I want to.
And although this concept is new,
the results are far from few!
My personality will debut
after I figure out exactly who
I am and what I like to do.
I'm very close, this is true,
to creating myself anew;
it's a self-respect breakthrough,
finding myself after you.
Copyright Sarah Gammon 2014
Sarah Gammon Dec 2014
My least favorite feeling,
I now feel all the time;
it has me, nightly, kneeling,
God, I need a place that's mine.
Everywhere I go these days,
I feel out of place; I don't belong.
I've tried living multiple ways,
but everything feels so wrong.
I've tried on different hats,
tried being a different person,
but on all these different tracks,
this feeling only worsens.
No one I know puts me at ease;
no one out there understands;
no one out there disagrees
that I must make my own plans.
If I feel so **** out of place,
then it seems to me I must seek out
my own comfortable space
and find exactly what I'm about.
I keep hoping that I'll fit in,
but that's impossible for me;
I'm unique in my own skin
so a unique place, I'll need to be.
Copyright Sarah Gammon 2014
Sarah Gammon Dec 2014
I am so angry and sad;
miserable and alone.
If I don't learn how to deal
my heart may turn to stone.
I don't wish to be bitter,
or heartless or cruel,
but this world is so harsh,
so my hatred gains fuel.
No man will ever touch me,
this I choose to be the case.
I am better off with none
that will try to read my face.
I am now so resentful and cold,
finding it hard to hold it in
to the point I've bit through my lip
trying to keep my anger within.
I've got strangers telling me I have attitude,
and my friends don't "recognize me".
I feel like TnT, about to blow,
is anyone going to stop me?
Don't be surprised when the city's in flames,
because the world let me down
a couple times more than I could bear
and my feelings, I couldn't drown.
The walls have holes
and my knuckles are bruised,
but at least, drugs and alcohol,
I haven't abused.
I've been doing fine by myself;
don't need a man to be pleased
since I'm actually more satisfied
when it's just me doing me.
It's all these people who don't care,
about what I want or who I am
that are causing me to feel this way;
causing me to not give a ****.
My fingers are chewed and chipped,
my palms have nail marks ingrained,
my lips are STILL BLEEDING
HOLDING IT IN; I'M TOO DRAINED!!

I don't want to hold it in anymore!
I want to scream with all I've got
and punch every person I see
until my pain can be forgot...
but alas...what does it matter,
I'm too nice to ever make a peep...
I'll tear myself apart by holding back
to save the world from me...
Copyright Sarah Gammon 2014
Sarah Gammon Dec 2014
I am sitting calmly and quietly;
Not moving a muscle.
Inside my head, I am screaming at the top of my lungs.
Thrashing, kicking, punching.
I can feel the screams crawl up my throat and tickle my tongue.
I can feel my body tremble with the urge to let loose.
But I do not move a muscle.
Consequences are an ugly truth.
One I have dealt with, time and time again.
Now I let it build up, it eats at me.
Which is worse? I cannot tell...
Copyright sarah gammon 2014
Sarah Gammon Dec 2014
Whoa! The thunder woke me. It shakes this little house. The lightning seems to come directly to my window and it lights up my room like strobe light. I feel very small, and very scared. It feels weird because there was a time when this weather was rather empowering; now it is the opposite. But...I recall that time to be when I was the happiest with myself. So, things have happened, and I've lost confidence. I am realizing that only I am able to talk myself into who I was. Because I've never been one to stay down long. I've got a schedule of achievements to make. I am determined to rebuild what I have lost.

And just like that... the second round of thunder encourages me and I am laughing with excitement.
Copyright sarah gammon
Sarah Gammon Dec 2014
I've lost my mind full of words,
as it seems impossible to speak.
For, after all the things I've heard,
my tongue, defeated, is now too weak.
Confliction is a tasteless *****
as she works her magic in my mind;
I've been cursed by that **** witch
so that resolutions, I will not find.
Without any understanding, I am empty,
just left wide open; a black hole.
There are none who can undo what was done to me,
none who can give purpose to my soul.
This is not the first, nor the last time
that I shall be be faced with disappointment.
And now it feels so hollow, this mind of mine,
because without words, I have no enjoyment.
Copyright sarah gammon 2014
Sarah Gammon Dec 2014
Trapped in Hell,
but I'll make the best of it.
It doesn't suit me well,
but I am forced to rest with it.
At least I'm free of love's constraints
where I was belittled and betrayed
by a ****** ******* posed as a saint;
no longer am I brittle or being played.
I may face negativity and discord,
but now I have myself.
I believe strength is my reward
for taking control of my health.
This may be far from ideal,
but at least I live in truth.
This is the most relieved I could feel,
knowing loving him had no use.
Now I will love me completely,
and be better than everyone around me.
I will grow with grace and beauty
into the most desirable lady,
and you will see me.
You will look at your mistress,
and realized what you missed.
I will be humble, because I am,
I'll be polite, the best I can,
but never again will you have a chance,
to take my heart under your wicked trance.
My surroundings may be Hellish,
but I will use this fire to fuel me,
I will become so catch-worthy
because I will finally love me.
Copyright sarah gammon
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