I need a cigarette
I want a pitch black coffee
And a cigarette

I need a window
On the 7th floor
And an empty flat
Streets with chaos and corruption
Allys with secrets that stink
And you out of my head

I want a wounded room in the middle of a clutter
Where the cracks speak the terrors stuck in my throat and silhouettes with night stories.

I want you
Right there by the corner
Where I can inhale you in the dark and steal your scent like a gem I could keep on my chest.

I want you
Out of my body
Yet it is windy
It is dim, lonely and hallow
It is pulsing and it is late
Late enough to sit by the window
Sipping at that pitch black coffee
Waiting to be saved by the morning
Or a cigarette.

I will get a moon right there
Where you kissed me
I will pin it with needles and ink
And make the stars watch
As my skin shivers out of the hurt you have kept in me

I will step away and watch from a far
Maybe drink more
Or hold on to my guitar
I will climb every roof and curse the words for being real
I will hold every ocean and swallow every fear
I will keep my moon right there
Beneath my ear
Where it can whisper and I can hear


All the things you have failed to say.

You are not much of a talker
Maybe that's what has gotten into me
Having to look you in the eyes every time you spoke
Reaching for the words you wouldn't slip
Like a treasure hunt
At the bottom of the ocean
Never much oxygen to breathe yet enough heart beat to keep from suffocating
And if I could stick my hand beneath my skin
I would rip you
Like another dissonant string in the middle of a perfect pitch
Pull you out of my ribs and sit away in silence
Tracing back the days to that one night
You caught my neck between your teeth
Bit your venom right into me and left
The way you leave every burning temple
Like a fucken coward
Afraid the fire would burn further than the back of your hand
Or the broken glass would cut deeper into the side of your eyebrow
And I know I've got both your fears buried inside of me
Ready to sting
But they would never tear you apart
Not the way you're tearing me
In silence

Find a universe where tears taste like wine
Let them sink down your throat like blood vessels
Let the hurt get to the ends of your brain
Let it remind you how high your soul can reach
Be a *******
For the sake of angels bound to submit and demons destined to burn
For the soldier who's heart beat is counted by the number of bullets left inside his gun and the girl looking for him in the stars each night
For the fingers and palms put together on a hospital bed waiting for the beeping line to go straight
For the silent cries of every naked woman having to suffocate under her breath and drown in her own blood
For the child who knows nothing about childhood and the man who lost a child
I'm sorry
I wish I knew about bandates and pain killers
I wish I had the cure
I wish I could save you from the monsters hunting your skull and the nails filling your wounds
But I can try
Come to me
**I will pour you a glass of wine

I could've told you that earth is not home
I could've told you that beyond the skies,
there is nothing,...nothing but darkness
I could've told you that gravity isn't holding us down
I could've shown you that your body will be first to betray
that your brain is another creature living inside of you
that air doesn't taste as good underneath your feet
I could've sworn that life eternal and that emotion is all we have left from heaven
I could've kept asking for mercy until my heart choses silence instead of music
I could've cried my eyes out for you to listen but I know, I am too much of a burden for you to bare
If I could only see the flames from here, I wouldn't have put my faith in the bargain in the first place

Son of Peleus
Lord of the sword
Fill my wounds with whatever filled yours
And I will chant of the wars you haven't gone on
We'll spill our drinks for the sake of glory
And curse the gods for failing our story
Son of Nymph
Drain my chest of whom it beats to
Skin it open and tear it apart
I am stuck
Stuck in a ship graveyard
Where ghosts speak my name in a lullaby
Send me an anchor
Pull me aboard
We'll sail to whatever land you command
And match our scars to whatever made us stand
Son of Peleus
Soldier of your own
Take me a rebel of another time
I am filled with wrath
And you have already gone that path

She already knows about metaphors
She knows about cliffs and edges
About how much I loved all
She understood the wilderness I don't want tamed
Gets the fire kept for the hurt you have claimed
I'm a runner
Too broken to stay
I'm a hider
Too scared to play
Chase me around the pines
Find me in the dark
Through the eyes that glow beneath the stars
Catch me naked and touch me where I keep my scars
Then Maybe
Just Maybe
You would understand
Like she understood
Or know
Like she knows
Till that, I will run again
Catch another sunset myself
Find another edge, another cliff
Another metaphor
For when you ask me
Like she did
"Why a fox?"
I would say
Like I did
*"I Love Orange"

Out of a million language
I've been taught a few
I learned how to put the letters into words, the words into sentences and the sentences into question marks
I've stolen each dot I could find and held it betwen my fingers as if it was mine to hold
Then I hid it,
Underneath my pillow waiting for some sort of fairy to turn it into gold.
I just didn't know
I didn't know that each dot was a seed to a plant holding more needles than it does roses.
I didn't know it could grow so fast that it brings in other creatures into life.
Out of nowhere.
I swear, I can hear monsters grin at the sight of my neck
I can see bees building kingdoms out of my own flesh
I can feel germs crawling under my skin biting their way into my kidney, my liver, up to my heart.
Now I can't put myself to sleep for there's a wilderness on top of my bed waiting to swallow me like the only meal there is.
And God They did
They taught me all about languages but How?
How do I put my insomnia into words?!
How do I communicate my fear?!
Teach my scars to speak the dreadful venom out of them
Teach my nails to rip the chains out of my wrists
Teach my fingers to let go
Let the dots slip
I'm tired,
God
May the moon be my witness
I've told him all about the bed time stories I didn't hear
I've apologized to the sun for its awake is no longer beautiful
For the light it's giving to the world hurts my eyes
for the voices rising throughout the day translate nothing but agony into misspelled poems I could've written
God, do I hate that I can no longer function for the electricity within me is fading away
So Stop
Don't teach me about languages anymore
I've had enough.

Imagine if I could hear your heart from a distance
If the left side of your chest were a boombox
Imagine if the branches holding your muscles decided not to hide anymore
Imagine if they grew their way out of your skin
Maybe then you'll see you the way I see you
Maybe then you would feel what could be drawn outside of you
This world will tell you all about tears for it hates your eyes
It will **** every bit of oxygen out of your lungs just to see you shrink
Let it
Let it drain you of the fluids keeping you whole
Put your wrists forward
Show them that chains can turn to bracelets and that there is nothing more precious that the clouds can give to the earth but tears
I promise
There will still be wind
Even when they put boundries between you and the ocean
There will still be wind
So to hell with the world
We'll take away a piece of the sky and make another
One that doesn't require the clouds to cry.

Once again, I’ve mistaken you for an angel
Maybe you are
I don’t know
And I could’ve brought you the moon
But it wouldn’t be fair for the rest of the world
So instead, I’m trying to **** a few words out of language
Hoping they’d make better sense than a space rock dying to impress
And I know there is a mansion inside of you that’s burning
But who said angels aren’t supposed to burn
Do not be afraid of the broken walls and shattered windows
Do not be afraid of the roof waiting to collapse or the doors slamming like thunder trying to rip their way out  and run
Do not be afraid of losing me
And do not tell me you’re not because I’ve seen you pull feathers out of your skin
Blowing into them as they fall to the groud
I am sorry
I cannot bring rain to shut down the fire
But, Do not be afraid
Angels aren’t supposed to burn

I'm not a coward, You know that
I've always taken what I wanted and I intend to keep doing the same
I'm not a coward, You know that
But I've been brought down to my knees and my scars are carved on each of my bones
I'm not a coward, You know that
But I've been failed and betrayed by destiny and I don't deserve it
You stole the fire in my eyes so that your hell can burn higher but it's okey, they'll do just fine with the little rain left inside of them
I'm not a coward and you should know that
Even if you keep pulling me down deep your ocean
I'm a pisces
*I will  breathe underwater

Nothing can make things work the way they used to
not clearing out the allies
not repainting the walls
I couldn’t shout the voices out of my head
nor let them speak as if they’ve swallowed my tongue along with all the things they have already taken


Could have kept it a little secret
Until I woke up inhaling air instead of ocean
The acrid taste hadn’t left my lips when I saw that you were there
And I was more afraid of you than the nightmare
Afraid you would look me in the eye and see the Titanic
Glorious steel drowning underneath its majesty in slow motion
No background music
No spotlight
Afraid you would blame the waves for a sin they haven’t committed
or the anchor for pulling me down

Do not despise the blue I have chosen
nor the dusty riddles it’s been whispering to my ear
It has got no allies
No walls
**Just blue

I will let you hate me
Not because you have a right to it
You don’t
But because your tears will turn to acid the moment you realize there is no one to blame

I will let you grieve
You’ve got a right to it
Maybe even draw new lines between the two of us as if they haven’t drawn enough
As if they haven’t already sorted us by faith and labeled us like toys
A dollhouse in the middle of a shooting range
Where doors do not connect and floors shake
Where the sound of trigger is all we hear
The smell of blood, all we crave
We keep writing each others’ names into tombstones
Thinking it will somehow lead us to heaven
As if the key to the promise land is encrypted by the devil in ash and destruction
Or the flames we’re setting outside will ever be able to wash away the ones burning inside of us

I will let you run
Break through the openings we managed to keep
Flee
Flee to the edges of this earth
See the ocean
There
Where no hate is there

And then he was doomed because she fell for him
Everything about him was turned into poetry

Answer me
I didn't ask the question but answer me
And God do I wish you'd ask the same from me
I would tune every string out of your name
I would play nothing but your heart beat
I would call *goodnight and have you visit in my sleep
We would only talk in pictures we took because they'd make better sense than actual talk
The words would taste better on my lips for when you want to taste them
My scent would remind the whole world that I'm yours
And the trail of my nails upon your neck would remind you that you're mine
Everything would be so different if you would only ask the question
But I don't know if it would go the same way *if I do

Do not blame me for trying to understand
That's like blaming the stars for whatever they had
It's too late they're dead
Do not put that blame on me
I got lost and I can't find my way back
I got tears I can no longer hold back
I got beautiful thoughts starting to turn black
Please see the fear filling my chest and ice burning my skin
I am the angry roar of the storm
I am the motion of the wind
I am the shy glimpse of the sun
I am the human
Blame me
Blame me for my will
for the empty glass I can't fill
For the questions I can't take and the walls I can't break
Blame the light for breaking the dark I have spread
Just don't blame the stars
**They are dead

If I should tell the world about you
I would plug my heart into an amp
Let the music play
Until the echo turns into thunder
And the earth quakes out of bass
If I should tell the world about you
I would place my hand on your chin
And my body would speak you in shivers and lightning.
There is ache underneath my skin
There is tragedy
There is enough poetry to defy my pride
Enough ornery to stab my own mind
How much stubborn hope could one breath of life carry
How much fire does it take for one chest to freeze
How much more agony could you bring
And how much more could I give
If I should tell the world about you
I couldn't
It would take so much of me
And you have already had enough

They said they were asking for heaven
I couldn't blame them but I thought I should
I wish I could tell them we're not heavenly creatures
But who else could?
I've been listening to the whispers they have been trying to keep
About misery and hurt
But I could never hear them scream
They said there's a universe inside of us
And I think emptiness is the one part they mean
I don't know if heaven could fix that
If it could fill the dark blank spaces with an ocean
Or if it would only keep them from being seen